Flatmate cant stand any noise

[Selfieface]

Im sure someone will be along to accuse me of subletting so I’ll get tgat out of the way. Shes a flatmate/lodger as shes not on the contract. Large London flat rent hasn't gone up by more than £50 in 20 years. Its three bedrooms and the landlord doesnt care who lives here its left to me and Im the only one on the contract. Shes great when anything goes wrong but I involve her in as little as possible. Im not moving out its not an option for me.

Anyway theres three of us in three double bedrooms and the last one to move in four months ago its strange. For a start she told me she was a translator (shes Russian) which didnt matter to me but shes no such thing. She works strange hours as a waitress and pays a company £300 a month to train her to get companies seen on the internet 🤔 which means she talks to anyone that comes to do work in the flat to get them signed up the cat sitter, the poor cleaner and this morning the double glazing man. Its quite awkward.

However, the problem is noise. Its an old flat the doors squeak which is fixable but her temper is shocking. She flies through the flat and goes for the other (younger) flatmate for putting music on at the weekend/going in and out on the phone to her friends/ getting up during the night and lovking the bathroom door as the noise of the lock wakes her up. She doesnt do it to me so much. Her temper is vile she tip toes around around with headphones on then the next minute shes screaming. Ive never in all my years lived with anyone lije this. Ive made good friends over the years as flatmates tend to stay at least a year here.

She says the noise is making her suicidal, she’s completely paranoid thinks we are doing it on purpose. Ive asked her to make an appointment at the gp and she says its not until August. I dont buy that as she could go on a morning amd sit in thr waiting room. Ive done suicidal awareness at work and I have all the crisis phone numbers i dont know if I should ring them the next time she screams it? Or if just the fact that i say im ringing them might calm her down?

I dont like living in this atmosphere my poor cats have never heard people screaming before 😄

Tbh OP unless you want to become her carer and emotional punchbag I would evict her, PTSD or not.

Mental health issues do NOT give you the right to treat other people like shit.

The last one was lovely she went to work and I didn’t see her again. She got sectioned I never saw it coming at all even after two years of living together, going to the gym every other night etc.

She is a loon preparing to make your life hell. Get rid of her. Her issues aren't your issues so don't let them become so. Give her notice and get your room back, in fact, do what knittedhat, above, suggests.

We’ve oiled all the doors today we really can’t do anymore we both work full time it’s not our fault she’s awake all night. If anything it’s her that’s in and out smoking throughout the night. Won’t ear plugs work?

What part of the advice to give her notice are you not listening to?

Why?

Evict her. You could pad doors, buy earplugs for her, creep around silently at all times, she'd find something else to complain about. She's making you nervous and unhappy, there's nothing to resolve just give her notice to leave.

Shes still at work.

I would politely give her notice to leave. she is going to be mad no matter how you do it.

Some of this is fixable. Could the other flatmate agree not to lock the bathroom door at night or ever - is it really necessary? You could have a rule that when the bathroom door is closed completely and pulled to, it's in use. That would mean the lock doesn't need to be used.

You have made the doors sound free by oiling them.

Keep music to a fair and reasonable level in the day.

However, she doesn't sound well to be honest. You can only do so much. If the door noises are the biggest trigger changing them will help a lot though.

I think you need to sit down, all three of you, and have a meeting about it.

Good luck.

You are living with a time bomb. She could wear noise cancelling headphones if she is so hysterical about noise.
I'll be a nervous wreck if I lived with her. I'll give her notice.

Do NOT pander to this woman, the longer you leave it the harder it’ll become, give her notice today. Every PP has said the same, no exceptions, oh she’s not a translator, paying a company to promote her? Get rid!!

Does she apologise after her outbursts? Recognise this is her problem not yours?

I'm sorry for her if she has PTSD but it's not for you two to make your lives miserable to accommodate her. Hopefully there will be council/NHS services that can assist in her affording housing for her on her own and deal with PTSD but that is not your problem.

You are the only person on contract, she is a lodger not a tenant, therefore no legal rights. She is making you uncomfortable in your own home, evict her and find someone else. Whether you give her a day, a week or a month, it's up to you but she needs to go. I'm sure you will find a new tenant within days, rooms go fast in London

The shits hit the fan now. I havent seen her i work shifts and so does she. The doors are oiled. Anyway younger flatmate was getting ready for work and shes a cheerful thing we dont normally see each other on a morning it was 8 am. Anyway she shouts the usual see you tonight ill help you move your new mattress tonight and leaves the flat door open but the main building door slams. Jeez she came flying out and was puce called her a selfish cunt was screaming in my face i just carried on doing what i was doing until she calmed down. She started saying she needs monetary compensation because the flat isnt as described. I just said if you are already hinting that you havent got your rent next week then im going to repeat what i told you the other day. You need to find yourself a bedsit. Then she started ranting i told her its a quiet flat when she moved in. Its on a busy London road FFS theres quiet and theres quiet.

Now shes on the phone talking in Russian to a bloke. That bit unnerves me i have to say.

Ive asked the third flatmate to say sorry for slamming the door this morning because thats what she keeps repeating that no one apologises to her. Im just going to keep enforcing the fact that she needs to look for somewhere else that's more suitable.

She works for a MH charity so maybe she can reach out to them re advice. Its a counselling cafe place tgeres loads of leaflets knocking about. I hope shes not intentionally trying to be made homeless as its very stressful.

She’d be out in her backside within three minutes after that behaviour.

Get her out now, it’s not your responsibility if she’s homeless.

You need to give a date she needs to leave by, the current arrangement isn’t working for anyone.

Why are you not listening to all the advice on this thread? She is aggressive to you and the other lodger. Text her today to say that she needs to be gone by Sunday teatime due to her abusive and aggressive behaviour.

You may well be losing your other lodger too if you told her to apologise to someone who called her a selfish cunt.

Why aren't you answering 99% of the posters telling you to give notice?

I used to share with someone who couldn't bear unexpected noise. So traffic and planes were but a floorboard creaking would drive him batshit. If you accidentally woke him, even in the middle of the day he'd be in a rage. If anyone walked passed a room he was in he was on high alert - is that PTSD? He said it was sensory issues.

OP tell her she has a week, if she shouts tell her it's 6 days and reduce the time until she shuts up.

^traffic and planes were ok

No i am listening. The person who lives here as well does wind her up she has got a loud gob which doesnt bother me but they dont get on in general. Thats not the point. I did listen to you all and I have told her she needs to look for somewhere else to live, today was the second time.

It is stressful. I just saw someone with a baseball cap on carrying a yorkie I was on my way to the vet I looked up and from the distance I thought it was her with my big tortie 😂😂😂 I practically ran with my poor cat inits carrier to get a closer look! Im back now and shes still talking loudly to someone. The rent is due on the 6th and Ive told her not to bother to be gone by then.

I’m glad you’re getting shot of her. Do you ever watch those programs about bad tenants, OP? I watched one where this poor man let a woman move into his flat, which he was living in, as a tenant and her husband turned up later. They changed the locks and the poor man ended up homeless for months.

Good for you! Enough is enough

She goes ASAP!

Fingers crossed!

I’d be inviting this fella round every evening until she s on her way!

Might speed her up a bit!

Im terrified about going towork now. Just this week i bought a new tv, a tablet and my new bed has just been delivered. I never buy myself anything and have been saving up. Im scared when i go to work it will all be gone and my cats will be outside when i get home. I better get some insurance.