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Estranged family member and their living arrangement

10 replies

Hairsprayqueeen · 27/07/2019 19:44

A young(adult) family member of mine recently 'disappeared'. We would hear from them now and again but sparse contact. Known for MH issues and has committed a few petty crimes. Suspected drugs. I love them to bits and its been a heartbreaking couple of years.
Anyway recently turned up again, told me the town they were living in and that it's their own place, they're 'clean' and looking at colleges and jobs etc. I was so pleased but also wary. They can be quite dangerous with lies and perchance for a bit of violence and manipulative behaviour of which ive often been the one at the subject of.
Anyway a different family member went to see them and was shocked. Said they looked fine and seemed fine but
-they live in a house provided or sorted out by SS, and two staff members stay with them
-Theyre not allowed out anywhere without two staff members at all times
-There are a couple of hours per 'day's usually in the middle of the night where there's only one staff member
-When said family member went to meet them they went for lunch, staff members had to sit at table with the pair of them.
-No knives allowed in the house.
-Theyre given 'chores' including washing themselves daily, and household tasks which they're 'rewarded ' for. I think rewards may be spending money or other privileges.
There's more I'll add as I think. I cant think why this would occur. Family member didnt ask because a)staff were there and they felt awkward and b) this person tells a LOT of lies and would probably have said one rather than the truth.
Ive brainstormed
-Suicide risk? But I've never heard this level of constant supervisor before
-Dangerous crime committed and they've avoided prison?
-Victim support? Same as above this seems bit much
-Witness protection?

Anyone know? Thank you (name changed).

OP posts:
Picklypickles · 27/07/2019 19:59

It sounds a bit like supported living. I used to work for a charity who supported adults with SEN and/or MH issues, some facilities are staffed 24/7 and some service users must have a supporter with them at all times.

StillMe1 · 27/07/2019 20:02

There is a house near me which is run by Social Services. There are a few members of staff and some residents. I dont know the ratio of staff to residents. My thoughts would be that the residents are special needs adults, as in physical and educational limitations.
There is one thing that you can do to try to find out things, likely you will not get much information but worth a try I think.
Phone Social Services and say you are (relationship) to X. You have the above information about their life from another relative who is (relationship) to X, and you are concerned about X and how they are so supervised. You could also do other angles such as there are older and vulnerable adults as well as children in the family and you need to know if you need to protect them.
I tried that, I was asked about the family around me and asked why I was worried. Told them everything. They said there is nothing for you to worry about. Did no get any real information but was told it was OK to have contact.

Hairsprayqueeen · 27/07/2019 20:02

Ok thank you
They have been in a supported living / semi independent facility before and although they did have staff live with them,they were allowed to go out alone and things like that. This seems quite extreme. So its likely to be MH related it seems

OP posts:
Hairsprayqueeen · 27/07/2019 20:06

Stillme thank you
Yesterday once I had learned about this person's whereabouts I rang ss and asked that my details were passed onto the staff, as I have a lot of said family members' belongings and would like to help with arrangements to get them back to them. Ss refused to pass my details onto the service providers because of confidentiality ! I was a bit Hmm at that one!

OP posts:
Hairsprayqueeen · 27/07/2019 20:08

They have no additional needs or physical limitations, very intelligent and able bodied, but I suspect are undiagnosed for a (perhaps serious) MH impairment or condition.

OP posts:
StillMe1 · 27/07/2019 21:24

@Hairsprayqueeen I am not 100% sure about this but I would have thought if you offer your details to be passed on you are giving permission and therefore you are not wanting to be confidential. My situation happened about 20 years ago so laws were maybe different then.
Maybe you could try speaking to the Manager at SS offices. There is also a governing body for SS so if you dont get past the manager you could try there. I cant remember the name, might be Social Services Council or Commission

Hairsprayqueeen · 27/07/2019 23:00

They said they weren't allowed! So odd. I am so curious and also want to know for my own preservation, they can be quite dangerous in certain ways.

OP posts:
GreyHairDontCare3 · 27/07/2019 23:15

Google the address. It might be registered with CQC & it'll tell you what kind of residents it takes

Frannibananni · 27/07/2019 23:20

Could it be they are quite violent? And the supervision has increased over time?

Morticiaismystyleicon · 27/07/2019 23:29

If you're sure they don't have severe SEN it sounds like they are currently in a setting for severe MH issues. I used to work (and still live very near to) a MH inpatient setting where only the most severe of patients who were an immediate suicide risk have 1 worker with/ following them. Are they in their own flat or is it supported housing?

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