Postnatal Handhold please

[Justincase87]

I have birth to my beautiful baby girl 2 weeks ago and the day after labor experienced a mental health crisis - I had intrusive thoughts and had a chaperone overnight at the hospital so I didn't walk out with my baby. Since leaving the hospital I've had good moments but on the whole bad days, I have the crisis team involved and the perinatal mental health team. My husband is doing the night feeds at the moment because they want me to keep getting sleep but I feel like he's so much better with her than I am. I'm currently at my parent's house sobbing upstairs while everyone coos and cuddles the baby downstairs. I started Sertraline yesterday and have been on lorazepam since the hospital. I'm so scared I'll never get to enjoy my baby girl, and that my husband will get fed up of me and so will everyone else. I wanted this baby so badly and I now feel so lost.

Please can I have a handhold and someone to tell me it gets better?

I'm glad you are getting help. It's a long hard road. Please be kind to yourself and accept any help that is going. Please ask your partner to make sure he takes care of his mental health too but that you are not in a position to help him directly just now. Your job is getting your equilibrium back.

Oh love. 9years should I was in the EXACT same place. We even TTC for 2 years before he was born. Hormones are fuckers.

I felt so much better after deciding to go on Sertraline; like a weight had been lifted, like it was ok to take something to help.

Please know this is not you, it's your hormones. Be kind to yourself and accept the help.

If it helps, when we had our 2nd, I was really scared if you happen again, but it didn't, I think I'd been at my worst with my 1st - if that helps to hear that xx