Mum hates my boyfriend

[ArlosMumma]

I've been with partner for 3 years now and my mum Hates him.

When we first got together my mum never liked him she said he was to (I was 19 he was 17) and would be a bad influence.

Then when I was pregnant and she told me to leave him because he wouldn't stay with me.

In October I gave birth to our little one and my partner is a brilliant dad to him.

But I feel like my mum is judging him none stop. Yesterday she visited and son was lying on partner trying to nap she then said he should be in his cot and picked him up (waking him up in the process) and puts him. In his cot. Even though he told her son wouldn't sleep in the cot.

Then the other day partner was giving him a Bottle and son wouldn't take it at first and my mum said "give it to me, he doesn't want it from YOU".

Those are just examples

Any advice as I'm getting fed up of it now!

Stop inviting her round or letting her in.

Why do you think she doesn't like him? Has he done anything to make her feel like that? If not then like the pp said, don't let her in.

I suppose she may have wanted you to have more of a life before settling down so young. I’m not excusing her behaviour nor saying very young people can’t be good parents but as much as people can still achieve decent careers, further their education etc it is far harder. Living part of your adult life without dc due to the pressures of parenting was probably her preference. If she had dc quite young it may be why she has been so against it.

You need to talk to her seriously about it. It's not fair on your partner but more importantly it's not going to be nice for your son as he grows an awareness. He is your sons father and your partner, your mother needs to accept that.

I'm also a young mum, together with DS father. If my mum was like that I would need to address it.

You should ask her to take a step back. She's not being fair to you, your DP or your baby.

Why do you think she thought he was a bad influence?

Has he been a bad influence?

Did you plan to have a child when you were so young? Would you have done do with any other boyfriend?

Your Mum needs to give you both a break, and let you both get on with things. Sadly some Mothers do interfere with things too much. Basically you need to discuss this with your Mother, but nicely, with no arguments if possible.

OP, it certainly sounds like she hates your DP. And that she sees you as a child. Your mum sounds very overbearing.
You and your DP need to talk about her behavior and put a plan of action in place. Tell her firmly 'no' if she tries to overtake situations or gives her negative opinions.
You are an adult, in your own home. Raising a child with your partner.
Try and talk to her reasonably about her actions and that they must stop as they will, in time, have an impact on your child.
If she won't behave appropriately then you may have to go low contact or no contact as she is being unreasonable and unpleasant.

I spoke to her before (when son was about 3 or 4 months old) about why she hates him and she said because he will leave me with baby and he wouldn't help although he does.

No idea why she said he was a bad influence.

Her unpleasant behaviour towards him would be a factor if he did ever decide to up and leave!

I’m very opinionated and have to resist saying “You don’t wanna do it like that, you wanna do it like this....” (Harry Enfield ) to my two adult children, my three adult stepchildren and all their partners.

I will be a (step) grandmother soon and will want to impart my knowledge but know I have to shut my trap, sit on my hands if need be and await to be asked for my opinion or any help.

Your mother sounds quite a strong willed woman but she’s going to miss out if she carries on with her old battleaxe behaviour.

Tell her straight that you and your partner are adults and are doing just fine with baby and her rudeness is alienating her and you are not going to put up with it.