To go on holiday with friends or not...

[Pondering2019]

NC but regular poster.

My friend has suggested that, next summer, DH, DS and I go on a villa holiday with her, her DH and their DS. She and I have been friends for years but this has waxed and waned during different times in our lives. We've been closer again since having kids. We've never been away together before. Our DH's get on but are not friends independent of us.

I can see the pros of the kids playing together and each couple being able to have a night out on their own while the other babysits for example, but I'm worried about the cons like, what if we fall out over something stupid?

Has anyone done this and had a good (or bad) experience?

Personally I have vowed never to share another holiday with another family - ever.
Tried it 3 times and omg.
From the bratty dc who demanded and got - an ice cream /lolly every time we passed a van, to the family who asked us camping-them trailer tent, us caravan. We turned up with a week's groceries and all organised.
They pulled up in the car and the dw stepped out carrying a cooked chicken on a plate.
No more food on board.
It rained all week and guess who cooked for everyone in the caravan?
Maybe read a few holiday threads on here op.
You may get your answer...

It can be lovely, but for every warm evening having a laugh and sipping wine, there are 7 million more occasions where you just think, "REALLY???!"
I'm sure my parenting and life style is not to everyone's taste, but other people's children, their disciplining (or not), cooking, eating, cleaning, hygiene habits... If you do it, get separate places and meet up. I couldnt bear my own child at 6 am and other people's are much less appealing.

I have done it several times and it’s been great. But then, I like having visitors/staying in other people’s houses, even would be happy with unannounced visitors and I like my in-laws.

We do it and enjoy it but it requires similar parenting styles, ideas of what makes a good holiday, a relaxed frame of mind (if someone is wanting to organise stuff just let them and go along with it without competing), alcohol, and agreement on budgets working to the lowest so they don’t feel they can’t do stuff as no wants to feel shamed on holiday

I've done it a lot and loved it. I have two top tips:

1. Go with people with compatible parenting styles to yours
2. Don't have any expectations of the people you go with. By this I mean in relation to how much you do together or separately. Expect nothing and go with the flow.

Separate accommodation in the same area yes, sharing a villa NO.

I mean why would you compromise your privacy and child rearing styles with anyone but your DP/DH. And you cannot even have a rant/row in private either, best behaviour is not a holiday rule!

Sharing with close family is tough enough, and we don't do it anymore (but get on great still, nonetheless), but honestly it is a no from me. I just couldn't stand it. And I would refrain from canoodling too lest friends hear. Ugh, no.

But each to their own.

I’ve had some amazing holidays with other families in shared villas but agree with pp that similar parenting styles is critical. Otherwise you all end up parenting to the lowest common denominator. Adjacent villas is first prize so you get a bit of alone time too.

This is one of the best ways to end a friendship IMO

Thanks everyone! Think I'll suggest same location, different accommodation!