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Original poster

Should I change my wedding date?

47 replies

MidnightVelvet9 · 26/07/2019 12:28

Getting married for the second time, going to have a small wedding in a local venue, it's all booked BUT now I'm having cold feet about the wedding date!

We have chosen 4th December next year, reason being I thought it would be beautiful with the Christmas tree up, all the decorations are dark green leafy foliage with LED lights in and our venue is very old with a stone ceiling, it will be dark in winter as its a level under ground level although it does have small arched windows at ground level. My table decorations will be a dark green leaves/Christmas wreath with a battery powered tealight in a glass jar.

Our budget is really small, we can do it at the venue but we have to save cash where possible e.g. I won't be buying a dress from a wedding shop, it'll be second hand wedding shop or from Monsoon etc I like the idea of a sparkly dress that will catch the lights, I'm not an ivory strapless sort of bride at all :)

So as the Christmas decorations will be up, our venue decoration costs will be minimal. Flowers wise it'll be my bouquet, buttonholes & the foliage for 7 tables, that's it. No bridesmaids or anything. We will provide a welcome drink & a toast, but no bottles of wine for the tables & it's a cash bar in the evening. No presents expected.

So we booked it, now people at work are Shock & saying we need a honeymoon straight afterwards, this isn't possible as Christmas is a couple of weeks away, the kids will still be at school and we would rather use our savings for the wedding than for a holiday afterwards. We might go away in the following Spring together for a weekend as a honeymoon, it's not really important to us.

Financially we can do it, it'll be tight & we can't do everything we'd like e.g. free wine, have 100 people for the meal but we can make it work :)

But it means every year our anniversary will be amid Christmas preparations. Also will we be inconveniencing people by causing them extra expense in the run up to their Christmas? Should I delay it until the following Spring, even though it will be more expensive as the venue costs are higher & it will cost to move the date?

I'm going back & forth & don't know what to do.

Has anyone had or been to a lovely low key December wedding?

OP posts:
AvengerDanvers95 · 26/07/2019 12:31

I got married on Dec 13th. Granted it wasn't exactly low key but in the essentials it was much like what you are doing - Christmas decorations, candles, wine etc. We had a short weekend break after our wedding then went away properly the following May. It's a nice time of year to get married and have an anniversary. And fwiw all but 2 people invited (out of 70ish) turned up.

CruellaFeinberg · 26/07/2019 12:31

now people at work are & saying we need a honeymoon straight afterwards

so do you want a honeymoon straight away? are you marrying the people at work? No? why are you listening to them?

hidinginthenightgarden · 26/07/2019 12:34

Sounds fine to me. People may well forget your anniversary after a few years as Xmas will be consuming their brain but I don’t expect anyone but me and SH to remember that anyway.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Weddings
AuntyMarysBigRedPants · 26/07/2019 12:34

Why are you listening to people from work ? Your wedding sounds like it will be magical

AvengerDanvers95 · 26/07/2019 12:35

Btw ASOS do some lovely affordable wedding dresses like this one

Simkin · 26/07/2019 12:36

4th December will be a nice kick-off for the xmas celebrations. If you don't want presents, explicitly say so. It sounds lovely.

I got married much later in December and although it was lovely, what a pain in the arse for everyone in retrospect.

ClashCityRocker · 26/07/2019 12:36

Nah, it's early enough in December that most people won't be all Christmassed out yet or too heavily engulfed in preparing for Christmas, but still close enough for the Christmassy vibe to feel legitimate.

In fact, I think it's a good date and it sounds lovely.

toomuchfaster · 26/07/2019 12:40

I was bridesmaid at a wedding on Christmas Eve!! It was fab, and didn't cause me problems there or since. People that complain about weddings will complain whenever you book it. Do as you've planned and sod the people at work. We had our honeymoon 5 months after our wedding due to finances and weather!

PotteringAlong · 26/07/2019 12:42

Do people actually celebrate their anniversary? I don’t think that’s a consideration.

BusterTheBulldog · 26/07/2019 12:44

We got married the sat before Christmas a couple of years ago. It wasn’t low key but not sure that’s relevant really. Everyone we invited came (and it was overnight stays for roughly 70%) of people. Don’t think it’s a inconvenience at all and people can decline if they have plans!

I’ve loved having my anniversary around Christmas, but then I do love Christmas!

measureformeasure · 26/07/2019 12:44

I got married on 16th December. It was a Sunday and the wedding was at 5pm. It wasn't exactly convenient for guests but it was exactly what we wanted. It was a small wedding with only 30 guests and it was amazing. It snowed in the evening so I have some lovely pictures of me and my new husband with snow flakes. If it's what you want do it!

BillThePony · 26/07/2019 12:45

I went on my honeymoon 7 months after my wedding due to work commitments and that was fine.

We don't really do anniversaries other than go for a nice meal and nobody gets us a card of anything.

I went to wedding on the 22nd December once and another on the 30th, both were lovely

boredboredboredboredbored · 26/07/2019 12:46

You're waaaaay overthinking it! It's early December not Xmas eve. So what if you're anniversary is amidst Christmas prep each Year? You're not bothered by a honeymoon so no issue with that.

Just go for it if you're both happy.

user1493413286 · 26/07/2019 12:46

We had a honeymoon much later as it just didn’t work out to go straight away. Also 4th December is fine, it’s not like it’s christmas Eve.

user1493413286 · 26/07/2019 12:46

Also it all sounds lovely.

MeanMrMustardSeed · 26/07/2019 12:47

We got married a lot closer to Christmas and it was amazing. Loved the Christmas feel and love that our anniversary (which we don’t really celebrate) falls just before Christmas every year when all the decorations are out and the holidays have begun. Go on honeymoon when you want. Some people do it a year or more later.

gamerchick · 26/07/2019 12:49

Plus the only people meant to remember wedding anniversaries are the couple. That isnt a big deal. You are overthinking it. It's not a destination wedding, you don't want gifts. What's the problem?

BizzzzyBee · 26/07/2019 12:51

saying we need a honeymoon straight afterwards
We haven’t had a honeymoon yet and we’ve been married for years. Our roof was leaking and making the walls mouldy so that was a higher priority than a holiday. Then we saved up but I got pregnant so we had to spend it on pram and cot etc. And now we have DC so can’t go away by ourselves for the next couple of decades. We aren’t any less married than anyone else. Nobody “needs” a holiday.

Knittedfairies · 26/07/2019 12:51

Your date is early enough in December not to interfere with too many other Christmas celebrations. Have your honeymoon when you want; since when did people at work dictate such a thing? Your plans sound lovely.

fromthefloorboardsup · 26/07/2019 12:51

It sounds lovely and it sounds like it's what you want. Don't worry about what other people think - have the wedding you want. I don't think it's that close to Christmas to be a pain.

AuntieStella · 26/07/2019 12:52

Your colleagues are talking bollocks - you can have your honeymoon whenever you like.

And people will have plenty of time tombudget for a gift, which need not be particularly expensiveespecially if it is thoughtful, as you'll be inviting them weeks ahead of the actual event.

I quite environmentally ed a friend her December wedding - they had carols instead of hymns, and it was just lovely.

You can find special things to do to mark anniversaries at any time of year.

Doje · 26/07/2019 12:53

I got married on the 8th December, and it was great. The venue was decorated nicely with the tree and a few bits (but equally they said they'd take them down if we wanted) and it was lovely.

On our anniversary my parents have the kids overnight and we tend to go out for dinner somewhere, and it's always lovely and Christmassy and there's often a Christmas Market, it's great!

The only thing I didn't factor in was the light for photographs. We got married at 3pm so whilst we had nice outdoor photos before the ceremony, we had time to do a quick group one afterwards in natural light and then the rest were indoors as it was dark.

AuntieStella · 26/07/2019 12:53

'I quite envied a friend

(Predictive eyboard is having a mad half hour!)

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 26/07/2019 12:55

I'd be more concerned about not providing table wine than getting married in early December. Get married when you want to, go on holiday when you want to. Christmas weddings are lovely, and it's not close enough to Christmas to be a problem Smile

I'd love to know how you're sorting the wine issue though; everyone around me seems to think it's an actual crime not to provide a decent drinks package even if the bar is a cash bar after the meal!

FuriousVexation · 26/07/2019 13:13

Psst: after the first year, nobody, including you, will give a shit about anniversaries.

You will also learn who to unfriend after the wedding as they will be the passive aggessive arses moaning about not having free drinks.