Starting to worry about DDs birthday

[Drinkandknowthings]

DDs birthday is in the middle of August. She’s going to be 6. She wanted to invite her whole class to her party - 20 kids. That’s fine. Rather than trying to get lots of phone numbers I handed out invites the last week of school (we’re in Ireland so school broke up at the end of June).

I had 3 people say straight away that they were away/couldn’t come and one who said they would be there. NO ONE else has RSVPd. The phone number on the invites was definitely correct.

Is it too early to text the people I do have numbers for to ask if they’re coming. I’m also in a what’s app group with some more parents but they’re not all in my daughters class - could I ask in there.

Birthday parties in the school summer holidays dont really go down too well here. Would you be able to change it to early september when everyone is back to school?

I would text the numbers you have but I wouldn't ask in a WhatsApp group if not everyone in the group has been invited. You coukd get the numbers of the people in the group from WhatsApp and text them though?

I don’t really want to cancel it now because she’s counting down the days. It worked out last year - there were about 7 kids but she was happy with that. I just can’t believe no one has RSVPd. I did say there was no hurry but still!

The trouble is they probably all fully intended to reply but its been 4 weeks and the invites probably still sitting in their child's book bag as they have been so preoccupied during the holidays. I would text them and remind them in the hope some have not made plans and can still attend. Then in future its probably much less stressful if you have a party once they are all back at school so they don't have 6 + weeks between receiving the invite and the date of the party.

I wouldn't worry yet, Two weeks before the event I'd send a quick text giving a date you need to hear by (do you need to confirm numbers?).

You could then follow up on the said date asking if they were able to attend. It's a pain in the backside but am sure with the holidays your daughters party has slipped to the back of peoples minds.

I would send a text message to the non repliers - polite but firm. People are taking the piss by not letting you know.

Did you put at RSVP date on the invite?

I would text the people that you have numbers for. They've probably forgotten or don't even know about the invite in the bag.

We have a party to go to early august and i completely forgot to reply, so thank you for posting this because i am going to message her now haha!

Ok. So anyone want to help me with wording the text? I’m useless with this. Something along the lines of.

Hi x, hope your summer is going well. Just wondering is you know if DC can come to DDs birthday. I just need an idea of numbers for soft play.

Would you put on the time and location again?

I do need an idea of numbers, the party is on at the local soft play.

I didn’t put an RSVP date on the invite, I did have my number on it.

DD handed the invites to the parents so they definitely saw them.

Yes text them. People will have forgotten. Also, you need time to know if you need a Plan B!

My daughters birthday is next week
And we don’t do parties in the summer because of this . More so risk of people forgetting actually than being away. If she does have a friend party then we do it in June before they break up. Next week we are having a “good olde family knees up” as she requested this.

Not a lot you can do now but next year don't have a party in the summer holidays.

I talk as an August birthday myself and a 13 yo DD with an August birthday. Everyone is always away.

We make up for it with DD by her having a few different birthdays - in primary school she would have one at the end of term - in secondary she has a small sleepover with primary friends at the end of term, and a party with secondary friends at the very end of August. (nearly all seem to be back from hols by then). We then also take her out for supper on the day itself.

It's nice now, it means she gets lots of opportunities over the summer to celebrate.

Hi X I'm just checking final numbers for DD's soft play party at X location on X date at X time. Please let me know if Child's Name is able to attend so I can add his/her name to the list. Hope to see you there. From X

Don’t put ‘just wondering’ ever. It’s too vague and floaty. You need an answer, so put Headsdown’s suggestion

I feel for you OP, but I think you're going to struggle with this one. After nursery I stopped doing parties at for my August-born DC's birthday. Either people were on holiday / forgot about the invite or, my personal favourite, treated it as holiday childcare and brought siblings along. If you've booked the softplay, be very strict with the place that only party invited children can go in on your bookings, and parents have to pay for any siblings, if they're allowed in at all.

Going forward, day trips with one or two easily contactable / reliably turning up friends may be the way to go.

Don’t put ‘just wondering’ ever. It’s too vague and floaty.

So true if you need an answer ask for it directly as then their only options are yes or no. If you include ambiguous words it just gives them the option to give you an ambiguous answer.

Hopefully the Op gets a string of replies saying oh shit sorry I just shoved the invite in their bag whilst I carried their entire years work and a model of a planet home. X would love to come and we will see you on Saturday .

@Drinkandknowthings you could text something along the lines of
"Just texting to say that DD is having a party on/at and would love [your child] to come. She gave out invitations at the end of term but you may not have seen it yet."

Than a follow up text a week or so before the party.

I'd agree with the wording suggested by HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone but I'd include a date of, maybe Wednesday of next week, by which you need to hear or you'll presume they're not able to attend. You can then turn away stragglers on the day who didn't bother to reply but just fancied doing soft play at your expense when the day came to it. cynic

Dd has a party in the summer holidays once. But no one could come as they were all away. I wouldn’t do it in the holidays again

I've got 2 children with August birthdays and I have only ever done their parties at the start or end of the holidays. As they got older it was easier to text the 5 parents and make sure they were free for his actual birthday which makes it so much easier.

I would chase if you have contact details

My dds birthday is the later part of August and she had her party last week before school broke up. The previous year was really badly attended which was upsetting for me (she didn't care as she had a good time anyway!)

Sent the message and have 6 people accept straight away - including her 3 best friends. So she’ll have a great time no matter what.

Two of mine are August. For next year, plan a special day for immediate family, cake, gifts and a treat.

Send out birthday party invitations in the first week of term in September.

August parties are always difficult because most of the children are either away or not contactable unless you've given invites out very early. Then the invite gets forgotten because it was given so far in advance.

For this year send a polite text message asking for RSVP so you can arrange catering/ numbers for party bags etc.

In previous years we have had the exact same problem. My DD's bday is late August. This year I booked her party a month early on 21st July and for the first time ever almost everyone could come.
August is a really tricky month especially with the long holidays. I hope you get some more responses soon OP.