I’m really struggling to eat and need some help...

[Byron81]

Hi, I’ve NC for this as my last few post could be quite outing.

I was always quite big growing up...I got to nearly 19st (I’m 5’10) after having DC3. I managed to carry it quite well because of my height but at a size 22 I knew I was drastically overweight. I joined WW and lost around 8 stone. I’ve kept this weight off well for around 9/10 years now.
My problem is, whenever I’m stressed or feeling like I’m loosing control of anything in my life, I stop eating. I’ve realised it’s because eating is one thing I can completely control and I like the feeling of being in control. The problem is, I’ve grown to like that feeling too much.
I get to the end of the day and if I haven’t eaten anything, I feel proud of myself, I feel like I’ve achieved something.
I’ve found all types of ways of hiding this...I’ll tell my DH when he gets home that i ate dinner with the kids...or I had a big lunch earlier. Yesterday was great because I could use the excuse ‘it’s way too hot to eat’.
I have a few health issues and have been in and out of hospital over the last few years to try and fix these. They’re not weight related issues. I know my not eating doesn’t help though...I have very low blood pressure and faint frequently and obviously not eating doesn’t help.

Does anyone have any ideas how I can re train my brain to not feel like this? How I can just have a normal relationship with food?

Thanks x

Anyone??? 😕

Would you be able to drink something instead when you don’t want to eat? A protein shake or Complan which is nutritious?

Different to you but after an illness I had no appetite and Complan really helped me as it could be easily drunk and didn’t feel like I was actually eating. But as it contains vitamins and minerals it meant that my health wasn’t being too compromised.

sorry for your situation .
i think my dc have a eating disorder, too. but sometimes goes in the other way round.
how much do you weigh now?
dont you enjoy any food?
maybe go to your gp about it?

I think you need to go to your GP and show them your opening post which is clear and articulate. Your situation sound serious.

Good luck

I can relate to this, and agree that drinking calories when you really don’t want to eat is a good idea. I try as much as possible to take the ‘choice’ out of eating - so I work out what it is I am going to eat that day first thing - particularly important to avoid skipping lunch - and I follow the timetable of when breakfast, lunch and dinner is, as mindlessly as i can. Once I’m actually eating, i will eat normal amounts, i just need to stop myself skipping.

Your self awareness of this issue could be the key to solving it. You know about this control issue and how it makes you not want to eat, so all you have to do is override it! Force yourself to eat something three times a day, even if it's something light and healthy - fruit salad, carrot sticks, a smoothie, an apple, etc. I have low blood pressure and if I don't eat it's awful - I get really faint and light-headed and I also get very moody and snappy. You need to have words with yourself about this and if that doesn't work and all the self awareness in the world is still not helping, how about contacting Beat, the eating disorders charity? Because your thought process is the same as an anorexic's.

This is not uncommon, sadly and is a form of self-harm. It is really good that you have recognised it, and the reasons behind it, and this is a good starting point to begin to address it.

One possible option is to, at a time when you are not at a low point, tell your DH about it. Instead of trying to hide it from him, enlist his help? ‘When I’m feeling low I stop eating so I need you to keep an eye on me and if you notice that I am dodging meals, please sit down with me and make sure we eat together’.

Thankyou everyone. I tried planning my meals in advance, thinking that maybe if it was already organised and prepared then I’d eat it...but I just end up thinking of excuses not to.
I enjoy the taste of food...I love cooking for my family and love trying out new recipes but I hate the feeling of being full, the guilt after I’ve eaten and the general tiredness/sluggishness I feel after eating. Even small amounts.
I had Fortisips for a while after my last stay in hospital and they seemed to work quite well. Maybe I’ll see if I can get those again.
I’m a healthy weight for my height, currently 11st 4. I weigh myself probably 5/6 times a day and I’ve found the number on the scales significantly changed my mood, dependant on what it says. I know I should probably chuck the scales away but again, it’s a control thing.
I think I need to go back to my GP...I’ve just spent so much time in and out of hospital lately, the thought of more drs and tests etc fills me with dread.

Thanks again for the help and support x

Get rid of the scales, honestly. We’ve never had any - I weigh myself twice a year at Boots. You say yourself you should chuck the scales away. And go to the doctors.

I don't see why this would lead to tests - this is a MH issue by the sounds of it - not a physical thing. You weigh yourself 5/6 times a day?!!! Please seek help. You have an eating disorder

OP I can relate. I've recently gone back to work- 12 hour shifts on my feet all day. I barely eat, I feel happy the next day when I get on the scales as I've always lost 2/3 lbs. I'm a healthy weight - 8st 10 and 5'5" - but I'm obsessed with my weight and always have been. I only weigh myself first thing in the morning though, but I do it every day. If I've put on a few pounds, I'll not eat until I've lost them.

Can you try by hiding the scales and telling yourself you'll only weigh once a day to start with?