Short notice wedding...

[curiouslypacific]

So DP and I want to get married in the next couple of months as he as an ailing parent, who we would like to be at the ceremony.

We're planning on only inviting immediate family to keep logistics do-able, but would like a 'nice' venue where we can also feed and put up guests (most will be travelling 2+ hours as we're all very spread out), rather than a register office or church.

We're going to book the appt to give notice today (no idea how soon this can happen, but I guess this determines how soon we can have the actual wedding). Have a couple of venues booked to view on the weekend who have some availability in the timeframe we're looking at. Will be checking parent/sibling availability today to ensure they can make it.

What else do I need to get on and sort? I'm guessing venues can help advise on officiant/photos/flowers as they have wedding coordinators? Dress + suit will be off the peg. Happy to throw money at things to reduce stress/ensure it all goes smoothly, but I just have no idea what I'm doing. Most of the online guides are "12 month plans" and seem to be aimed at massive weddings with all the trimmings.

Are we insane to try and do this so quickly? Has anyone else managed it/got useful advice? Am I wrong in assuming things are easier if we go for a venue that will also cater and accomodate us?

It is quite doable.
I would think it would be easier if you chose a venue like that. We chose a local hotel and just had a small wedding. Those from away stayed there.
Flowers- check out local florists yourself. I don’t know about wedding planners they weren’t a thing when I was married.

Have a lovely day.

Yep did something v similar. Treated it like a big party rather than a wedding. Did the admin stuff which dictated when the wedding was, hired out a restaurant that had a lovely garden, registry office, transport (vintage bus) to restaurant for us and guests,

Canapés and drinks in the garden.

No table plans, buffet served table by table (v nice roast meats beautiful veg and salads/ veg options) .

We did have a photographer but in retrospect wish had just used guest photos as they were brilliant.

Cake from m and s decorated with flowers. Venue had bud vases on table. No table or chair swagging. People travelling from all over but the stayed in hotels, our house, friends houses.

It was fun and easy and v

Dress off the peg from John Lewis, husband new suit and tie, no best men or bridesmaids. Speech from me and him to say thank you for coming.

Yep I’m not sur you need a wedding planner...

My step DIL used one for v last minute wedding in London and that really reduced stress for her.

Make sure the local registration office have a Registrar available for the day/time that your venue can do. We had to book the Registrar a long time in advance to make it work with the venue.

I got married 4 months after getting engaged. We had a venue that had a wedding package and covered sit down meal, buffet, evening entertainment and even the wedding cake if we wanted.

I bought our outfits off the peg and we had 100+ guest who were able to attend. It actually wasn't so stressful because the venue dealt with the main bulk of things.

If I was to get married again, i would do exactly the same thing. I really.enjoyed just cracking on with it all and not waiting 2 years for the date to come around.

We had to cancel our planned wedding and one last minute due to FIL terminal cancer diagnosis.

I believe it was a month from the date of the notice appointment until we were "free" to get married.

Because of the short notice / situation we only invited immediate family and my best friend who was my bridesmaid. Decided registry office was best.

We just put a message in the family WhatsApp asking everyone to put any dates they definitely couldn't make due to things like booked holidays and then picked the best date we could. We figured if they had plans they weren't something like a holiday they'd change it to make sure they were there given the situation.

I was 18 weeks pregnant so my dress came from monsoon (my beautiful wedding dresses I'd actual brought didn't fit because I was pregnant so it's still hanging up unwired almost 2 years later). I called round some florists and got buttonholes and flowers for me sorted. Our original photographers were wonderful completely understood and did the photos at a reduced price because of the situation

Originally we were going to just book a dinner at a normal resultant for after but FIL was just too ill so after the ceremony everyone went home and me DH and my DS (5) went for dinner together that evening to celebrate in a normal restaurant. We told the staff what happened and they gave us free dessert and champagne (I was clearly in a wedding dress) and my DH work has called in advance paid for the rest of the bill / sent flowers and gifts for us

It wasn't what we planned but FIL died the next evening so it was worth it

A Devon wedding venue has just popped up on my advert feed!

I’m sure it’s doable. Look at the 12 month plans, pull out the elements need, then start planning. You may find certain florists, cake makers etc are already booked up, but then places like M and S do wedding cakes nowadays also.

We got married just under 6 weeks after getting engaged - I think it would have been harder to do it in much less time than that because of the notice requirements. If you get married on a weekday you should be fine with Registrar availability. We are
In London so had lots of choice with different boroughs, some had quite limited hours available for marriage though.

Wedding coordinators at venues will only recommend those supplies in their wedding brochure. Suppliers will have paid for this so doesn’t mean they are the best and certainly won’t be the cheapest.
My dh is a wedding photographer and the majority of his work is from word of mouth and FB. I would recommend you look for a wedding group for your area and ask for recommendations.

I did mine in 7 weeks. We did a church followed by parents garden so the date was down to a cancellation at the church.

Top tips: cakes can be bought from M&S in different sizes and they sell the kit to stack them. Monsoon dresses are in the sale now, other shops have off the shelf too. Suits can be rented easily, we rented one (for a ball) last week with 2 days notice) or just wear ordinary ones. Email invitations and follow up with phone calls as it will be a tight turnaround. If you struggle to get a hotel and registrar, a church might be a good option (you only need 3 weeks notice and we certify weddings ourselves so no registrar needed, then go onto a hotel that doesn't have a wedding licence who are more likely to be free (and charge a lot less). Our local university conference centre does wedding receptions (and has 80 rooms) for instance - many venues are booked up though a year in advance but cancellations are too common based on mumsnet!

14 weeks from start to finish for us.

The only issue I had was getting a dress- lead times are very long but I got a stunning one in the end.

Congratulations!

I planned my wedding in 3 months. Was great fun and more than doable. Equip yourself with a good pad and pen, lists are your friend

Ditched cake and flowers. Too much cash - saved about 1k.

wow, thanks for all of the advice, so many helpful people! sounds like looking into churches might be a good idea then if registrar availability might be an issue. Just felt that it might feel a bit empty with less than 20 guests in a church.

Off to loook at m&s cakes now so thanks for that recommendation (cant believe I'd forgotten about the cake!) and monsoon dresses!

Fingers crossed DP can get us an appt next week at the register office to give notice.

May also need to rope in my best friend who loves a good list...

You need to know the venue to put your notice in. You have to state it on the notice. Well...you do in Norfolk and Suffolk...

If the wedding day is the most important thing you could have a Celebrant to lead your ceremony and then book the legal side into the registry office when there is availability. That way you aren't having to wait for a registrar do become available.

The key is to secured a couple of dates with a couple of venues, which are all prepared to hold the bookings for a few days to secure the registrar to attend the venue (which had their own wedding licence).

Once the registrar is booked, you can confirm the venue/date and give notice.

Anything else is just for fun.

My advice would be to have some things that you really love included, just for fun.

NowDH wanted a photographer, so we found one who would do reportage style, so lots of photos of preparations and people arriving and then just one or two group photos. Not usually being keen on photos, I was glad afterwards, The day went past in such a flash that my best memories are now encapsulated by the pictures. My treat was the flowers which I did entirely by myself with my favourite florist, bliss.

Then, make sure that your focus is on the comfort of your guests. You choose to have them there, do ensure that they are fed and watered and generally have their comfort made a priority. If hanging around, something to eat / drink and somewhere to sit all help. And somewhere for younger members to run around

Oh, and enjoy. It is essentially a party.