Friend with eating disorder

[idontknowwhattosay]

Dear Friend is dealing with an eating disorder at the moment. She is following a new plan and working so hard at getting better. Her mental health seems more stable at the moment and her physical health is gradually improving. Im worried about telling her she looks well or that she is looking more healthy as i am aware that she might hear 'well' and think 'fat' ( something she has mentioned before. How can i word it to cause as little issue as possible. She always says something complimentary about people when she meets them "oh i like x y or z" " you look lovely in that" and i want to be able to reciprocate without upsetting her.
Thanks

Can you do similar? Compliment clothes/makeup/accessories? Or you could say her hair in general is just looking really good (hair gets knackered by EDs).

Speaking from experience on your friend’s side. Totally agree - I hated the word ‘well’; it would send me into a tailspin. I hope her progress is as smooth as it can be. She’s lucky to have such a thoughtful friend.

Agree with Look - make a specific comment about something that EDs fuck with: hair, skin, nails.

That’s a tricky one, I had a comment about the fit of a shirt when I was trying to overcome bulimia and dia-bulimia. In my mind at the time I thought “I need to purge three times a day to look this good” as that’s the number I had managed to reduce it to at that time. I was then stuck there for weeks as I thought if I reduced my purging I wouldn’t look attractive anymore. People in that state often don’t think rationally.

I would focus on things like hair etc and avoid comments on clothing etc.

Why do you have to say anything about her appearance at all? Can you find other things to boost her confidence about?

I think I'd avoid mentioning her appearance at all. Just ask her how she's doing.

"I'm glad to see you happy."

"You seem really positive lately."

Commenting on her mood seems safe.
Maybe compliments about her behaviour are safe, too: "That was really kind what you said to Alice," "I appreciate you helping me with X problem" etc.

Agree, just keep it general. If you are close enough to say how proud you are of her, you love her whatever she looks like. Tell her you love her.

I like the positive idea. She is trying so hard.
I tell her how proud i am every time she tells me about any progress she tells me about. I let her vent or cry or talk when she wants and ask questions when she seems to want to open up. I also make sure there is a safe chat option.
I dont have to comment on her apperance but i waa worried about triggering something that i wouldnt have thought about.

What Winters said above. i work with people suffering ED and what is encouraging to one could be totally mis-read by someone else so we tend to ask them what works to avoid this...just being an amazing friend and giving her support is probably all you need to do.