Do you ever feel like you're just waiting for life to happen

[MoomimWoomin]

Ive always had something big on the go, completing University, getting a job, settling into that job, buying a house, renovating that house, etc.

Now I feel like I'm just waiting for the next chapter, like I am just waiting on my partner to propose, waiting to move higher up the pay-scale so we can move to the countryside, waiting till the day we are married so we can have a baby. And none of those things feel like they are going to happen for another couple years.

Anyone else get to a stage in their life where they just feel like they are stuck in a waiting room?

I remember feeling exactly like this when I was at what sounds like a similar stage to you. I was about 26 or 27 with a job, house, long term partner (but not engaged) and just felt like I was marking time: and not in either a job or house I could see myself in longer term. I had lots of angst about whether this was the right part of the country or the right industry for me, and was really quite miserable for a while.

I can't really pinpoint when it changed, but I don't feel like that at all now (am nearly 42) and haven't for ages. We got married, had a child, moved house (but same area) and I changed job a few times. I think it was having DS (when I was 31) that really gave me some more focus and a sense of purpose that I wasn't getting from other aspects of life.

Lots of my friends felt the same way at that kind of late-twenties age, and I think we've all found our way now either with kids, or jobs or hobbies or whatever brings us our sense of purpose.

Hope you find your way out of it

DDIJ
that’s sad! Anything we can do to help?

Start living in the now! Not daydreaming about your future! Things will happen for you, you sound like you have the foundations of good life!

All of those things (engagement, wedding, children) are wonderful things to look forward to. They will happen when the time is right.

In the meantime, make this stretch of tour youth into somethign really special. What hobby could you take up or get back into? Any volunteering? Maybe take up a hobby to share with your partner? A pet? Book a holiday? Start a blog?

I spent several years after uni and before getting married in that waiting room phase. I remember trying to make new friends, trying to find things to do with my free time but nothing worked. If I'd spent those years in a coma I don't think I'd have missed much.

I am relieved to see its not just me who feels this way about a particular stage of life. I feeling nothing more than plain boredom.

@SnuggyBuggy you have summed up exactly how I feel, the thing I want to do most right now is buy a countryside home, something we both want but unfortunately need to wait another 2 years till we are both earning more and therefore will be more secure.

@ShoesJerry yes exactly this! I could go into a coma for the next 2 years, miss nothing, and wake up at a time in my life where things are finally happening!

@DDIJ please seek help if this is how you really feel

Kind of...I'm pg with DC2 atm so I'm looking forward to next year but apart from that I feel a bit blaargh. Its mainly because we're waiting to buy a house (in 2-3 years minimum) so I guess I feel kind of unsettled until then...like should I bother decorating the flat, how much effort should I make trying to make local friends in case we move etc.

Evening, all.
We hope you don't mind, but we've had a comment on this thread flagged up to us as another Mumsnetter found it a bit concerning, and when that happens we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
Hope that's useful.

I have times like this. I'm not depressed but after a period of severe stress I am left wondering about the meaning of life. What is helping is doing small things that engulf me in feeling good ( walking along the shore, forest etc) and trying not to think too far into the future.

Yeah, I'm nearly 50 and I'm still waiting 😂

I've a great life - full time, well paid employment and a 4 year old ds

I'm getting married in ten months and going on a big holiday in four

I know I am beyond blessed

I still can't live in the now - constantly on a countdown to when life is better?!

Horrible feeling. Horrible, horrible

I wish I could get enjoyment out of a walk. I'm only 29 and the days last for what feels like a year

Anyway OP - I think what you're experiencing is very common

Now is what matters. Stop thinking you'll be happy when ... because life is in the small things and not in the big events.

I can relate in that I have to have things in the diary to look forward to (but they can be small things) and often don't appreciate things in the moment.

However, I have to say personally that that phase in my life pre-marriage/pre-better job/pre-buying a house/pre-DC was just so care-free Obviously we were saving money for the future, but we still had the freedom to go out for meals, drinks often, enjoyed nice holidays, we went to the cinema together, went to the gym, got into running.. I even did my first (and currently only!) marathon..

It's easy to say with hindsight, but try and find joy in the everyday, find a hobby you're passionate about before you get bogged down with more responsibility (particularly with young DC).

I think I did experience a little of what you're feeling when we were TTC our first.. which whilst it only took a year, was longer than I was expecting.. felt a bit like life was on hold then. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that even when you get to those specific points in the life plan, they don't always necessarily go to plan...