Holiday stress re tipping - any Mexico regulars that can advise me?

[Sportsdirectmug]

We are currently on a family holiday in Mexico. It's something we saved long and hard for and we are having a wonderful time in the most part. We budgeted for trips/tours/meals out and to tip well when we ate out. We are being asked for tips, often very aggressively, by everyone although these are usually only small sums it is really adding up. Now I have received an email for an activity I prebooked in the UK, costing $500 advising me that the captain will expect a 20% tip and we should show our appreciation for his hard work. I have no problem with tipping, especially service staff, but I really didn't expect and have never heard of 20% tip for the captain of a boat?
Can anyone advise if these tips are all culturally whats expected or whether we are within our rights to politely not pay an additional $100? And what would you say? I am anxious of confrontation when I am with my DC in a foreign country.
Thanks for any advice you can give.

Don't know about the boat, but maybe staff in Mexican hotels and restaurants are used to dealing with a lot of tourists from the US and their ridiculous tipping practices?

Tips are normally given to workers not business owners, so while you might tip boat crew, you wouldn't normally tip a captain, unless there is a policy of tips to be pooled amongst the whole crew? That happens on dive boats, but it's nowhere near 20%, more like 5%, which is still a tidy sum, but is made clear on booking.

We found this really hard work in Mexico. We had paid £500 extra each for service at the pool, premium drinks etc. and a couple of other non-existent perks, but realistically unless you gave generous tips, there was no service. I don't want to tell you how much we spent on tips that holiday

Yes mostly us tourists. We'd budgeted to tip service staff but this is madness. When we arrived at one hotel there was water all over the floor and a man arrived to mop up then demanded a tip, to clean up water we hadn't spilt!
I find it all exhausting. I'm really anxious about the boat trip. I can't believe I'm the only person who find it so difficult.

I tip $5-10 per person in our group on trips like this.

I tip more if I'm in a country where the staff are obviously very badly paid

Where are you staying I’ve been to Mexico many times all over and never been aggressively asked for tips apart from in coco bongos in Cancun and I refused and left ( it was shit anyway )

Generally on an All inclusive holiday if we’re at the beach and the beach boys get us drinks ( we are lazy ) we tip a dollar not every time but generally every other time we get a drink so they can easily get upwards of 10 -15 dollars if we are there all day drinking and eating

Same for the bar if I go and get my own drink I don’t tip but if they bring it over I will tip a dollar
i generally eat in the buffet restaurants so don’t tend to tip unless the staff get us drinks. But again it’s a dollar
On trips like boat trips I will normally tip 10 dollars from each of us each so twenty dollars that’s for everyone on the boat unless one of the crew is extra nice

In the club we went to in Cancun we had all our drinks inc in the entry price but the bar guys would get you drinks and keep them coming so we always tipped them 100 pesos each time they got us drinks. But it saved us having to queue and wait and when we went the following night they gave us a great spot to sit for free as they knew they were going to get lots of tips 😂 which they did
If we eat out then it’s generally 10 percent if the bill but I don’t put it in the credit card and give it direct to the staff
We can easily spend a couple of hundred quid on tips on a three week holiday but we don’t really spend money on trips and stuff as we have done it all in the past

We are travelling around playa del carmen was the worst so far, we're staying in small guest houses, not AI.
I think I'm just out of synch with expectations of the local people. It's a shame, we definitely wouldn't come back as it's been incessant.
If you tip the housekeeper, janitor, receptionist and might staff at the guest houses it doubles the cost of our nightly rate which I didn't budget for. I am quite shocked at receiving an aggressive email from the captain of a charter boat demanding 20% of the total as a tip, I would have thought he was paid sufficiently.
I would always budget to tip service staff as we don't drink so haven't experienced any bars or clubs.
I think it's me, I did a lot of research but missed this which is my responsibility. It seems a shame, I just can't enjoy anything due to the anxiety of a confrontation for a 20%plus tip.
Thanks for your comments, I appreciate it.

Americans on holiday tip 15-20% so they are expecting it. The boat captain thing sounds like a con though

We did all inclusive, and a few excursions. We were never asked to tip at all! Especially not aggressively.

Sounds horrendous. I'd be stressed like you. Its not so much tipping its the endless having to think about evwrything you do os foing to result in expectationfrom someone. I hate pushy people.

I'm putting Mexico to the bottom of my to do list after reading this.

I hired a car when I went to Mexico so didn't do excursions. The airport transfer coach had a tip jar but I didn't tip.

I left $10 in the room for the cleaners when we left, gave the same to the concierge and $5 to the bell boy. We stayed at an AI place, which had one table service restaurant and I didn't see any tipping and didn't feel under pressure. Ditto with the pool service for drinks.

People from the US tip 15-20% as standard, so Mexicans who are used to American tourists will expect this. Brits have a bad reputation for tipping so this is why you will have been given a heads up about your social expectations.
Wages in Mexico are very low and tipping is a universally expected thing. Out of tourist areas with Americans 10% or so is fine but it is expected in a small trickle from pretty much everyone you come into contact with in a hotel etc.
They aren't being grabby it is just their culture works in the basis that the wealthy, ie those able to stay in smart hotels will trickle their money down to the poor.
I lived in the wealthiest state in Mexico it had an aim that by 2020 that no one would have a dirt floor in their house, in places like Yucatan the poverty means that aim couldn't even be hoped for.

Yes I agree re distribution of wealth. We are staying in local guest houses approx £35-50 a night for our family of 4 so we fall outside the normal expectations of foreign tourists I think. I would expect to tip service staff etc but a boat captain is getting paid $500 for the day- I've booked a local boat captain directly to ensure we spend our money in the local economy and there is a captain and 1 crew on the boat so I really can't see why $100 tip is appropriate on top of what we have paid already (which was my Xmas, bday and anniversary gift).
On reflection we couldn't afford Mexico, I misjudged it, which is my responsibility. We've travelled a lot, I many cultures and never seen anything's like this before but I know now. I think, sadly, this is the reason so many people see little of the beautiful country as it makes everything incredibly hard work.

Thanks for the comments,it's helpful to hear your experiences.

Pp is absolutely right, it's constant expectations and hassle.

If you find Mexico hard work, definitely don't go to India

I found it pretty easy in Mexico tbh. I just Googled what to tip, and tipped that much. We had an amazing time there exploring ruins, beaches, cenotes, markets, scuba diving, going to restaurants, etc. I'd love to go back.

I've booked a local boat captain directly to ensure we spend our money in the local economy and there is a captain and 1 crew on the boat so I really can't see why $100 tip is appropriate on top of what we have paid already

No way would I tip this guy $100. $10 per person in the group is plenty. And I'm American :-)

I travelled in India for 3 months with no problems. I spent the first 15 years of my life in Jamaica and go regularly and never have any problems there, or Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos. Morocco and Egypt are the only places i have encountered this before and then I knew exactly what to expect re changing prices/hassle etc.

I am not an inexperienced traveller as we would tip a boat crew, but not the captain. He owns the boat after all.

There is a concept that Europeans and Americans are well off but this isn't any different to Sri Lanka or India in my experience.
Of all the places we went while we lived in Mexico we found Playa del Carmen and Valle de Bravo the most aggressively commercialized.
Outside of that we really never got any hassle at all. You only need to tip people who provide a service to you so waiters, guides, taxi drivers etc not just randoms. ( DH always felt sorry for small dc juggling at lights)
Lots of people have a second wallet, you keep lots of small change in it.
Mexico is the most fantastic country that my whole family still miss. Get your dc to speak Spanish to them, nothing helps more!