Young teens and weekend with family, what would you expect behaviourwise?

[munemema]

I don't know, perhaps my expectations were unreasonable.

We spent the weekend with family. My DSs 16 & 18 and DSis' boys 11 & 13. It's hard to find something everyone will enjoy and I understand that this isn't the most exciting weekend for the younger ones but they usually enjoy time with their older cousins.

Anyway, so we went to an "attraction". The budget was very limited (at DSis' request) and I thought I'd done well to find a council run venue that had lots of varied things to see and do (gardens, museums, assault course, animals) so whilst it was never going to be high adrenaline excitement, there was lots of variety and the company of their cousins to keep them entertained. DSis banned phones.

OMG, the younger ones whined and complained they were bored and/or hungry all day, which I felt was rude as I'd organised it, albeit, it wasn't a hit.

I'm sure at that age, although my DCs wouldn't have been thrilled to be there, they'd have been polite enough to keep their feelings to themselves. If they hadn't I'd have told them they were being rude and I'd have only needed to tell them once!

Or maybe I'm remembering it through rose tinted specs. How would your 11 & 13yos behave on such a day out?

Is everything supposed to be arranged for the benefit of the youngsters or is it sometimes just enough that you're spending time with family Until recently they've always been very excited to meet up, we live a long way apart and only meet up a handful of times a year.

Whining is exhausting isn't it. DD age 12 wouldn't whine but your day out sounds rather nice and I think we'd have enjoyed it as a family.

I was embarrassed for my Dsis TBH, but she didn't seem to realise it was poor behaviour (and she's usually a stickler for manners) so I thought maybe my expectations were all wrong.

Is it more that the DC are shattered? I’m extrapolating from my primary school DS but he is currently at his worst because he’s exhausted (term finishes today!). I agree it’s bad manners and I would expect better of secondary aged.

I'm so glad mine don't do this. We recently had a similar sort of day out. The boys weren't keen (come on, we only walked 9 miles in the end, what're you moaning for!) and moaned a bit before we left, but were fine once out. Ds1 who is 14, did walk back alone in the end, because he didn't want to walk on the sand, but we just left him to it. No drama needed.

While I agree under normal circumstances it would be bad manners, I'm always more tolerant of whinging when it's really hot. Most kids just can't cope, it either sends them wild or whiny, there doesn't seem to be an in between. If they're occupied it's usually tolerable but if they were bored I can imagine it was off the scale.

If it's a one off I wouldn't give too much thought to it.

I’m on a family holiday at the moment and we did a similar day out the other day. DN, 13, joined in and clearly enjoyed some of but also spent some of the time on Instagram and messaging friends.

Mine did this once at around that age, also with a cousin, but it was pretty out of character, it was me who chose it, it was a hot day and they were tired (we were camping for a few days). We joke about making them go back again every time we pass the sign for this place on the motorway and have put it down to experience.

My dc are 8,11,13 and know that not every outing revolves around them. Sometimes we have to just get on with it and try something different, you never know, we might find we have a good day anyway. They do moan if they are bored, but tbh, what you planned would have kept them entertained enough that they would have made the best of it. They are reminded often that in order to have the expensive days out, we also have to have a lot of free and really cheap days out to save money. They also love spending time with their cousins (similar age to your ds) and I always think it must be dull for the cousins, but they get on with it, don’t moan and entertain the younger ones.

I think it was rude of your sis not to pull them up on their bad manners. It was her budget that dictated the day and whilst that is fine and we have to respect that not everyone has funds for big days out, her boys should be more understanding that this is the way it is and we have to make the best of what we have got.

It wasn't hot where we were at the weekend - I agree that can make whiners out of the best of us

Yes, my DC sometimes didn't/don't want to participate, DS2 often walks well ahead of the rest of the group but he doesn't actually complain about not wanting to be there.

Depends on the kids to be honest.

My DS1(12) would have hated it, and is without tact or regard, so would have whined and whined and whined to go home. He does this on every single day out we have ever been on. Ever.

My DS2 (9) bloody loves a day out, and would never be so rude as to whine when in company. He would whine in secret. To me LOL

They both would have nagged for food constantly. They are eternally hungry.

I think 11 and 13yo are the wrong age for this sort of thing. They're old enough to feel a bit too grown up for it, but not old enough (as your older pair were) to look at it a nostalgically. Gardens, assault course, museum, animals would have suited mine aged about 8 or 9.

Also you don't know what had gone on before. I can remember being stroppy about going to something dm wanted us to go to because I'd been invited to something with a friend which I would far rather have gone to. I was given a wonderful description of where we were going, and all the things there would be there and reluctantly agreed. Only to find that the petting area had one elderly goat, the assault course was actually aimed at 6yos and everything else cost money which dm wasn't going to pay. I felt I'd been tricked into going.