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Original poster

Party exclusion :-(

20 replies

twocats335 · 20/07/2019 14:00

I know threads like these are common but it friggin hurts seeing your kid upset because she's been left out. Dd 10 has a party today and all her circle of school friends are invited. Invites sent out ages ago. She knew one of the group who lives close by was having a big sleepover last night and all of the friends were invited except her. Fine. Didn't seem too bothered until I picked her up from school yesterday and she burst into tears in the car. They'd been discussing the plans and how excited they were and along came birthday girls mother to take them all back to her house straight from school. Birthday girl's mother only speaks to me when she feels like it, mostly she blanks me. Wtf is wrong with people? They're all coming here later for us to take them to dd's party and I just feel crap. Dd is unusually quiet too. Not sure I'll be able to resist a sly comment to this girl's mother later but I know that would be petty. Just needed to vent!

OP posts:

Fatted · 20/07/2019 14:03

I'd be inclined to be petty and tell the one who had the sleep over that she is not welcome at your party.

Yellowweatherwarning · 20/07/2019 14:04

Ime keeping you dd from dm's like this is the best idea.
My dd missed out on such an event.
The dm supplied Blue Wkd and Black Fruit cans of cider..
For the dd's 12th party..
I talked to dd and we agreed it was disgusting..

Original poster

twocats335 · 20/07/2019 14:37

Fatted - I certainly feel like doing that!

OP posts:

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10 year olds

Soola · 20/07/2019 14:50

So you’re having a party and one of the girls invited us then having all the other girls back to hers for a sleepover except for your daughter?

Just phone the other mother and see if there is a misunderstanding.

Or tell her straight that you think her daughter is playing silly games and she isn’t welcome at yours as she has excluded your daughter.

Soola · 20/07/2019 14:52

Why would it have to be a sly comment? When the mother collects her daughter why wouldn’t you say loud and clear, “Your daughters had a lovely time but now they’re all going back to yours why has my daughter been left out?”.

Original poster

twocats335 · 20/07/2019 15:09

The other girl had her party last night.

OP posts:

Soola · 20/07/2019 15:19

Well she wouldn’t be coming to mine today!

I’d phone her mother and say

“Hello, due to your daughter excluding my daughter from her party, it’s going to be very awkward for her to come today. They aren’t friends anymore. These things happen.”

ourkidmolly · 20/07/2019 15:40

That's dreadful behaviour. How many girls are we talking about?

ourkidmolly · 20/07/2019 15:42

I'm actually quite shocked at what you've written. So all of these girls are going to be coming to your house together, having been together all night, exhausted and emotional from typical sleepover behaviour and your daughter's just got to listen to them talk about all the fun that they had whilst she's been excluded. No way!
Are there any coming you haven't been to the sleepover?

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 20/07/2019 15:45

Just call up and say it'll be too awkward now if this child comes today after excluding DD.

The mum will understand.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 20/07/2019 15:48

That’s horrible your poor daughter

Soola · 20/07/2019 15:52

Is there the possibility that the mother told her daughter she could only have X amount of friends to the sleepover and your daughter wasn’t included, but then you sent out invites to your daughters party at the same time or just after?

It seems dad that the mother wouldn’t have queried why her daughter was going to a girls party the day after her own party and to which the girl hasn’t been invited?

Gruzinkerbell1 · 20/07/2019 15:52

Your poor daughter. There’s no way that girl would still be invited if it were my kid’s party. So mean and the timing is ridiculous! The night before her party! So selfish and mean.

GiveMeAllTheGin8 · 20/07/2019 18:48

Would t have that girl at my daughters party, so mean of her

HeadintheiClouds · 20/07/2019 18:52

Hideous . Definitely contact birthday girl’s mum and tell her you can’t possibly have her daughter attend your party now. She’d have to be as thick as a brick wall not to grasp why.

HeadintheiClouds · 20/07/2019 18:53

What happened, op?

cansu · 20/07/2019 18:55

This is very mean. I am a teacher and recently overheard one of my class talking about a sleep over she was having. She was very open about it and even discussed it in front of one of the girls she inexplicably hadn't invited. I felt it was v mean but also couldn't be sure that the seemingly left out one wasn't able to go. Anyway I agree with you that it is mean and I actually blame the parents. If it was me I simply wouldn't allow my dd to leave out someone in that way. However the best way to deal with it is dignified silence. Give your dd a hug and a treat. Try not to let it spoil your dd party.

SuzieQ10 · 20/07/2019 19:04

What did you decided to do in the end OP?

Original poster

twocats335 · 20/07/2019 21:30

Hi all. Thank you very much for your comments. We had dds party and it went well. They were so busy, nothing seemed to be said about the sleepover last night thankfully. Dd had a couple of extra friends at her party which helped. I did pass a comment to the other girl's dad and he squirmed a bit and hurriedly left with his dd. I don't blame him really as he probably had no say in the matter. Anyway, it's done now so we'll move on. Dd is happy so all is well. I'm now relaxing with

OP posts:

BrieAndChilli · 20/07/2019 21:46

DD just had her party and because we were having it at home I said she could only invite half the girls (5 out of 10) I could have squeezed a couple more in but then only a couple would have been excluded so I stuck to the lower number. I also told her not to make a big deal out of it and to give the invites out in a non obvious way.
It is really hard so trying to give another pint of view. DD gets on with all the girls in her class and plays with them all, obviously some a bit more than others. As such there aren’t obvious groups of friends in the class, they all mingle depending on what they are doing eg there’s a couple that do gymnastics so DD will be involved in that, a couple of them are into drama and singing so they helped DD learn her lines for her drama club play. I’m sure the girls who weren’t invited to her party probably were aware even with the best of intentions to keep it on the downlow.
Could it be that there was a limit on invites for the sleepover?
Was it all the girls in the class except your DD or was it Half etc?

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