DD too intense in friendships

[BergamotMouse]

Now my DD is only 3 and learning the ways of the world. The problem is she seems so intense in her friendships and this isn't usually reciprocated.

On play dates she'll want to be so close to them and will follow them round. They'll walk away and get upset about not having space. She's too young to understand that someone else might not like her way of playing.

She'll desperately try to get them involved in games, try to give them toys which they don't want to play with.

I'm sure it's a normal part of growing up and learning about the ins and outs of relationships but it makes me feel sad to watch.

Any tips on helping her understand / getting her to take at least a few breaths when her friends come round?

Try and do something with them at first. She’s desperately trying to engage them. Maybe do a bit of make and bake activity? Or something a bit structured while they get to know each other. Sometimes it just doesn’t work - my daughter was happy to paint or do some crafting she but had one friend who couldn’t care less. That friendship didn’t take. It will be a bit hit and miss while she is still so young, but unless they are at the playground it’s hard for them to spontaneously know what to do.

Thanks. That's a good idea! I do usually have lots of activities set up like water and sand play but usually just leave them to figure it out themselves. I'll try to get more involved in helping them play on future play dates.

3 is still so very young. Can you stay right there with them and "scaffold" her interactions a bit more until she gets the hang of it? As soon as you see her getting too close, you intervene and suggest what she can do instead eg "x is busy building just now, why don't you build beside her here?"

My DD was another who didn't 'get' the interactions which seemed to come so easily to other children. She struggled with it throughout her nursery years, but really found her feet once she started school. Now at the end of year 1, she has lots of friends and gets on well with any new children she meets. It does come in time: try not to worry.