Advice needed re teenage ds

[stuckon99percent]

Ds14 went on holiday with his dad yesterday afternoon. His dads partner and her kids went too. Ds left me at 4 pm and by 10pm I've had calls and texts asking to pick him up (from ds).

I knew this would happen!! Ds doesn't like his dads partner or her kids, but he wanted the holiday.

Would you pick up your child in this situation?? On one hand he is my son and I want him to be happy and back home with me, but on the other I warned him this would happen and feel he should deal with it as he chose to go.

I think it depends on what his exact issue is (for instance I ended up flying to Sardinia to pick my then 13 year old up because of some upset which was awful) and also how far you'd have to go.

No serious issue (just squabbles) and is leave him. He's 14 so should be able to treat it like a learning curve not an uncalled for punishment. He won't do it again!

I had this when my son was younger when my ex h was with a new gf ( again!) and my son would have to fit their routine.His dad used to get annoyed with him for not being able to slot neatly into his routines- it was a testing time.
I would speak to your ex dh see what issue really kicked it off, see if can talk it over, then spk to ds and do same.i wouldn’t immediately be picking him up..... you also need some time out too.
Try hang back unless there’s a point you cannot.When ds gets back then have a big chat about it.14 is a difficult age and sometimes they no longer wanna see the non resident parent as often over their home comforts.

This is the problem with mobile phones, they can call you with every nuanced emotion, but they only call you when they’re pissed off. You think they’re having a shit time and worry all the time that they are away and actually they’re fine. Leave him where he is, he’s old enough to have made his choice, let him make an effort with the woman and her children.

I'm going to call his dad after 8 and find out what's going on. We communicate via text normally as he's vile so will be interesting.

He text last night and said ds is being "an absolute dick" because he didn't want to spend time with the other kids and walked out. He's told ds they are all one family now so he has to deal with it. He's said before that if ds doesn't start getting on with the kids then he won't see him anymore.

I've had to pick him up from his dads so many times because of arguments, I've really had enough!

He's said before that if ds doesn't start getting on with the kids then he won't see him anymore

Well then he's a big wanker isn't he?! That's not what a DECENT parent says!

On the back of that alone, I'd pick my son up. Go and get him OP.

If a Father can't cope with his OWN son's issues, then he's a shit Father...especially if he threatens to not see his child any more! How inappropriate and dumb.

I was coming here to say if it’s just petty squabbles then leave him there he chose to go but reading your update I’d be going to collect him, sounds like your ex is a massive arsehole!

They've all apparently made up now

I'm definitely not picking him up, I offered and he said no so he can stay and deal with it.

You do realise though, that it's incredibly damaging for his Father to threaten not to see him?

As though he's doing the boy some kind of bloody favour?? It's his SON! He should want to see him!

Ohh I know. Believe me I do.

Ds only goes to his dads flat to play PlayStation, not to see his dad. If the PlayStation isn't there he doesn't go. His dad goes out most of the time anyway.

He's gone on this weekend away to go to arcades, play sports and go to the beach. Not to see his dad

He calls his dad disgusting names here, and I do tell him off for it.

He's told me plenty of times that he doesn't like his dad.

The poor kid. I feel very sorry for him.

He's told me plenty of times that he doesn't like his dad.

Smart kid.

His dad sounds like an arsehole.

Ds is finally back and not happy.

He needs regular pain relief at the moment as he's waiting for surgery and his dad wouldn't buy him any, I reminded him before he went and he said he would buy some. (Only paracetamol and ibuprofen so not expensive).