Drive 8 hours in a car with 6 and 8 yr old?

[theroadtohell1]

I have an 8 hour drive to do to visit my parents with my DD8 and DS6. First time I'll do it on my own since separating from DH.

The thought of it fills me with absolute dread. DD is sensible and easily entertained. DS, however, isn't ( he has SEN.) I'm seriously wondering whether it's actually safe to attempt it. They are likely to argue, possibly fisticuffs after a few hours, not to mention the endless "are we there yets?". I'm worried about getting badly distracted on the motorway.

Obviously I can make plenty of stops for the endless fake "I need a poo mummy claims but should I do it in 2 days instead, spending a night in a Travelodge half way to break the journey?

Stop at a services for lunch ( you can take packed lunch rather than buy if you wish)

Toilet stop every hour, after each one say we stop again at x time.

Sweets/pot of cheese chunks and crackers for the car

In car DVD player/iPad each with ear phones

Personally I’d do it in 1 day rather than 2 as that just drags it out imo and that’s even more hellish but then I’ve no experience with a SEN child so don’t know how that is

Do you have iPads/ portable DVD player etc that can be used to keep the children entertained?

I would try and do it in one go but leave early in the morning and then find somewhere half way with a play area and places to eat where you can stop for at least an hour to let the kids run about and have a break. If you can find somewhere which would feel a bit like a trip out that’s even better - as a child we always used to stop at a little petting farm on the way to my grandparents.

Then after a long break back in the car on iPads/ with DVDs for the second part of the journey.

If your kids sleep in the car the other option is to try and time some of the journey for when they’re likely to be asleep, spceuther early in the morning or late at night.

we did this with our kids many years ago. The journey was from UK to deep into Europe.

After about one hour we heard 'are we nearly ether yet?' Later on we got to the 'territories' bit. They each marked out their territories on the back seat and if one of the others even put a finger tip in the wrong territory they were met with a hefty hand chop. Tears and arguments followed. We had 3 of them in the back seat. T'was a disaster area. We were all massively stressed.

We did Invrrness-HerneBay in a 2CV when my brother and I were that age, once a year. 14 hours, overnight stop somewhere, picnic, vomit bags galore

I've just posted on another thread about the 'are we nearly there yet' questions. Tell dc that your house is at their toes, the destination is their head. You can tell them you're passing the knees, were nearly at the elbow, we've just passed your chin etc. Then a bunch of games, some I-Spy. Tiger had some travel bingo games last time I was in, tick off the picture type thing. If you're remotely crafty you could whip one up?

We'd count Norberts (Dentresssangle) and Eddies (Stobart) lorries, but I don't know if you see so many about these days.

We have done long trips to france from Ireland.
Regular stops were our saviour (short stop after 2 hrs and long stop after another 2 hrs). Plenty of sweets and games helped. We didnt have poetable dvd players, which friends have said helped them (overtaken now by downloading onto a tablet/ipad).
Travelling early morning, or late at night helps if they fall asleep.... you can easily get 4 hours without stops and a quiet journey!

You could try the stopover in travel lodge going.. as it is your first time... then if it goes ok try it in one day for return.

Can you do late afternoon into night so they are asleep? Set off 4... Dinner 6... Hopefully asleep by 8? With extremely active (for them, not you) day before hand?

Separate them. One in the front, one in the back behind you. That should stop the physical contact!

Aside from that, give them a screen!!

I'd put the older one in the front and tell the younger one they get to spread out!
Break the journey into short sections and plan an activityfor each section. Plan at least 3 stops - one being a longer lunch stop with somewhere to have a proper run around.
Plan some in car games that they can run themselves - one spotting Tesco lorries, the other spotting Sainsbury lorries etc.
If you are having sweets/snacks - never give them on demand, say "Of course you can have a sweet - when the time gets to x (or we get to junction y or whatever) - so longer as there is no whingeing.
And if you can spread the journey it might help -when doing a similar journey with my then 6yo DD, we drove for 3 hours, then stopped at a town with a fun swimming pool later afternoon and stayed in a Premier Inn overnight. DD was so excited about going swimming,

An you have the 8 year old in the front? iPads etc?

iPod or similar and headphones with audiobooks or music works here very well. We used an old phone without a SIM card.

DVD or downloaded movie after 1/2 journey

We are National Trust members and look always for a place mid journey to see and stretch our legs, tea and cake as a reward for the parents.

Thanks all, some fab ideas there. Love the idea of using the body re. Progress of journey. Yes, I had thought about putting the oldest in the front to separate them,and they have iPads so I will download something in advance.i do like the idea of bribing with sweets too......

I've been doing a 14 hour drive to France a couple of times a year since Dts were one. Honestly it's fine. Food, lots of food, Ipad / kindles / DVD's. We barely stop anymore just for wees, so we get there quicker.

Dts are 8 now, we leave at 4 am so get an hour hopefully two of sleep out of them at some point.

I would bribe with sweets as sweets = water = loo breaks. I mean, I would totally bribe, just not with something that’ll make them thirsty! In my experience you want to pack as many miles under your belt between stops. Buy them a magazine when you stop, that kind of thing.

Books on tape. We have audible and downloaded Harry Potter - works for us :)

Sorry if this sounds crazy. But could you do the journey overnight?
Pack everything up. Go to bed for a few hours. Get up at 1am and drive?
You will feel terrible. But the children might just sleep until morning.

It's what I did as a child. I remember being taken groggily to the car, then waking up in the morning in Cornwall!

My DS 8 gets carsick watching/playing screens but loves listening to audio books. We have listened to loads including Roald Dahl, David Walliams and now he’s older, Harry Potter. It keeps him so quiet listening to them & we’re not even allowed to speak! We’ve loaned some out from our local library too. Good luck & have a good trip.

My kids are younger but we regularly drive from southern Germany to & from the UK.

Snacks are your friend!

I try to section off the journey into different activities. E.g. from when we leave home until our 1st toilet stop we'll have a chat about our plans for the journey. The next section I give them activity books/magazines/stickers/colouring until the next stop. Then it might be snacks, then I-spy, then I get desperate and put Frozen on my phone and hand it to them...

They usually sleep for some of it too. If they fall asleep we do not stop under any circumstances. Regardless of how hungry, thirsty, desperate for a wee etc we are. If they are asleep then we don't stop til they wake.

Good luck!

@PoohBearsHole we have the Harry Potter books 1-5 and they caused DH to miss exits pro junctions as DH listened instead of checking the google map.

Don’t put an 8 year old in the front on motorways!

DD in front because she's big. DS in back to spread out. Headphones for both, ipads loaded, snacks and an in car charger.
They can't fight if they can't reach each other and can't hear each other.

Laptop/iPad and movies, audio books and endless hours of eyespy. Bribery is always a good option, the little bags of haribo rationed our, junk food for lunch.

@reluctantbrit - might have happened to us too 😂

Don’t put an 8 year old in the front on motorways!
Why not?

You could also make a list/picture-list of things they'll see on the journey, eg big spaceship (Alconbury services), camel (used to be a camel on the M5 near Bridgewater), funny-sounding placename (Upper Flappington, or somesuch) and they can keep an eye out, tick it off. Then reverse it on the way home.

We do the national trust thing too, it's great and makes a lovely day of the travel! The other thing we've done is drive when they sleep, easier on the way home but eat, brush their teeth pjs and hope they sleep!