Is your partner a happy/ cheery sort or a serious / moody fucker?

[MoodyFucker]

Ive name changed for this. I feel really embarrassed.

Recently I've moved internally to a new department - it's in a different location and is mainly males- think construction type industry. Most of them are soo lovely. I have settled in really quickly and have laughed so much already. There's always someone having a joke, saying something funny, just general banter. They all seem so cheery and have something to laugh about even when shit happens. It's made me realise how this jovial, light heartedness isn't in my home or life. My dh is nothing like this and I think it really affects my mood. I've been with him since 18 and don't know if it's just me.

In contrast, my DH is moody, snaps at the kids/me, seems to have something negative to say about anything and the worst of it all is the look on his face - it's like a look of contempt- It ruins my mood in an instant. My DF is also like this and I remember my DM thinking the same out him, complaining how he just wasn't a happy, cheery sort of man.

I don't know what I'm asking really. I know everyone won't be a happy, cheery sort of person but surely the other alternative isn't this, is it?

We can have absolutely stupid laughs over nothing
Or just be quietly contemplative

He’s pretty level most of the time
Not snappy or moody... no way

Mine is as daft as a brush. We laugh a lot, and take the piss out of each other (in a good natured fashion). He's very funny and cheeky.
He's an absolute joy after my ex husband, who was sarcastic (in a bad way), nasty, and used to sulk for days. Very difficult to live with.

Mine is usually on an even keel, he can be silly with the DCs (and me when we are alone) and he can get worked up about things or anxious, and he tends to be the Debbie Downer on my plans but they can be a bit wild.

I do know, realistically, we shouldn't get a double decker bus camper van, for example.

But he's fun to be around mostly, and the DCs and I tease him and he takes it in his stride.

cloudyinjune I'm sorry you're going through similar. I'm the same- I have a lovely day at work and come home happy and relaxed and it barely lasts an hour. I haven't realised it until recently but Im walking on eggshells to not set him off.

I get that my colleagues are probably not always like this at home and I'm sure they have their days too but it's the fact that I hardly have this friendly, calm chit chat. The sad thing is that when he is like this, I actually notice it. I mean I bet you guys don't notice anything because that's "normal" for you.

What happens when you set him off?
I mean isn’t that his problem and not yours? Is there a way you can start to be yourself again and just tell him to shut up?
Don’t stand for it.
If he’s aggressive and violent then just leave as soon as you can.

My partner is hilarious and always celebrates the good stuff in life, laughs at himself and his predicaments and refuses to let himself or me wallow even if I wanted to😂.

He's very life enhancing. It's brilliant. He has had a tough life and he tells me that's why he appreciates every positive thing, every month he can pay his bills, wake up healthy.

I'm naturally moody but he's made me see the funny side of all sorts of situations where I set out determined to be miserable.

My XH fof two decades wasn't like this btwbso this is comparatively new for me I should add. My X wasn't particularly moody and had a sense of humour but wasn't naturally funny or empathetic.

Same here, OP. He’s tried every anti depressant going but I think DH just is a very negative person who can’t seem to find the joy in anything. His eye rolling and sarcasm when he’s in a bad mood are so cutting. It never used to be this way but twenty years of kids with special needs and our own health problems have led to this. I have found a lot of happiness with my friends and hobbies.