Please advise: Sterilisation.

[usernamedeletedshortly]

I've an appointment next month with my GP and I will ask for a referral to be sterilised.

In a nutshell I am desperate to find relief from the worry of becoming preg

I don't want to get into the relationship side. It's a clear cut and paste LTB if I wrote it down. I need to leave this in the hands of a therepist, an arbitrator who can eloquate (sp sorry!!) our problems far better than I have been able to, back to him to drive home how bad his behaviour has been and sometimes can still be in the rare occasion.

That being said. I needed advice on my tubes being tied. And it's only this that I will talk about now. I'm very open to.more advice or just anything that centres around the topic I'd be really keen to hear about.

To the PP advising the copper coil. No. Thank you but no. I'd still worry if it's in place correctly or if its been dislodged or bumped out of position. I'd still worry about falling pregnant on it. I'm wary of relying upon a reluctant HCP to remove the coil if it doesn't agree. I'm just wary. I want FINALITY.

All I can advise is to do everything possible to get your tubes tied. Tell the gp everything you've said here and hopefully they will listen. You are in no way unreasonable for wanting it done and the choice should be yours. If the gp is a prick, go private. That's what I did.

You wouldn't have to tell your partner you've had a coil fitted, you can check the strings yourself to ensure it hasn't dislodged, plus still use condoms on top. I'm not advising you go with that method, nor am I going to comment on your relationship as you clearly aren't looking to discuss that. Obviously sterilisation is the route you want to go down, and hopefully you'll get that option. I'm just flagging it as a non hormonal option if you're refused sterilisation on the NHS, and want a plan B in addition to condoms.

I really feel for you OP ; the situation sounds awfully stressful.
You should find out from the receptionist which GP at your practice has most FP experience and ideally have a double appointment to talk things through. As I said above your GP is likely to have criteria before them which need to be fulfilled before they can argue your case for sterilisation eg when other methods are as effective contraceptively but less likely to have serious side effects and are reversible and cheaper it would be hard for a ccg to justify saying yes.
It really doesn't mean that your GP wouldn't be sympathetic , they just wouldn't have the 'tools' to go ahead with the application for special funding that would be required ( in my area in any case).
I agree with some of the pps that you are being bullied . Two forms of contraception and support for yourself eg freedom programme would help you and needn't mean the end of your relationship if both of you are able to change. I hope I don't sound patronising .... I certainly don't mean to be but I do have professional and personal experience of these situations ( without necessarily having the answers in my domestic life).best wishes OP

Good for you. People I know who have been sterilised have been so delighted and never looked back.

Hope you don't have to wait too long.

In fairness if it was me in your position I'd really talk up the fact that you had an pretty recent abortion due to contraception failure. That alongside your mental health and 4 children should be taken into consideration. I'd express how much you fear becoming pregnant again and the knock on effect on your mental health. If you suffer from anxiety it's worth writing everything down prior to your GP appointment so you've got it to hand and don't flap if they try to fob you off.

Unfortunately sterilisation doesn't give you FINALITY, it is not the best method of contraception. You can still get pregnant, and your risks can be lower with other methods, which is why it's difficult to get.

I don't know about a freedom program.

Thank you HUZZAH

I've read about more women falling pregnant with a coil fitted than after being sterilised.
I don't want a coil. I don't want a contraption inside me. That's my preference, my desire, the thought of it makes me quesy. I can just about breathe my way through a smear test to not hurl.

I'm not being snippy! Sorry if I come across as such.

If you have any worries about the possibility of pregnancy after sterilisation, username, ask questions at your consultation. I've not known anyone to become pregnant but have read about a couple of cases in newspapers, many years ago. There is the odd case of a pregnancy happening after vasectomy too but these are exceptions so don't worry about it unnecessarily. I am sure you will be reassured.