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Am I overly sensitive? Is Mumsnet only for..

46 replies

Steaktartar · 17/07/2019 11:58

Ok so maybe i am a bit too sensitive but why evertime i post a question there always has to be a couple of people pointing out my poor English? Does everyone here speak English as a first language? I find it rude and insensitive as its completely unrelated to the question/s im asking. Sorry if im being too sensitive. Thank you

OP posts:
Steaktartar · 17/07/2019 11:59

Or some people just get a kick out of being nasty sitting behind their screens but are wimps when they outside

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 17/07/2019 11:59

It's mainly used by people in the UK, and while some people do criticise spelling and grammar, there are others who roll their eyes at the critics and ignore them.

Pipandmum · 17/07/2019 12:02

I mostly assume it’s predictive text or auto correct spelling getting the word wrong. I wouldn’t bother correcting someone’s grammar unless I really don’t understand what they are asking, and then it would be asking for clarification not correcting what they wrote. And yes anonymity brings out the worst in some people.

TeenTimesTwo · 17/07/2019 12:05

The people who point out the poor English are sometimes being rude and insensitive, and sometimes pointing out errors in the spirit of helping people learn, though it is difficult to tell which.

Occasionally though, clarification is needed if wording is unclear.

It can be very jarring for someone to read poor spelling and grammar if they are good at it themselves. Though that doesn't excuse them being rude.

Mumsnet is for everyone. (Except moon landing deniers).

stucknoue · 17/07/2019 12:09

It's mostly for U.K. based mums and it's in English of course, if incorrect expressions are used it can make a sentence seem odd, and the meaning can be completely misconstrued. I'm pretty sure if I posted in my poor French I would get pulled up for it on a French site aimed at women in France. Nobody should be nasty about poor English though! However advice will be generally U.K. based which for some generic matters is fine but where someone is asking for benefits/legal/school system etc you need to be wary of replying with information that's irrelevant

BarbaraofSeville · 17/07/2019 12:14

The expected standard of English is very high on Mumsnet compared with other forums and yes there are some people who make twats of themselves by pointing out imperfections in a snidey way, obviously forgetting that we can all be tripped up by autocorrect, and that some people are not posting in their first language, or may have dyslexia or another learning difficulty or all the educational advantages that the perfect English crowd have obviously enjoyed.

Obviously it's reasonable to politely query mistakes that change the nature of a post, such as missing out a not or similar, but try not to feel put off by the sneerers; most people see them for the nasty bullies that they are and we've enjoyed your thread about different types of tea Smile.

TragicallyUnbeyachted · 17/07/2019 12:21

The trouble with Mumsnet is that it developed a reputation for being blunt-in-a-good way -- so, where other parenting sites would pussyfoot around, Mumsnetters would give their honest opinion if you asked for it. That's a plus. But it's meant that it attracts people who equate that with "please brain-dump every negative thought that crosses your mind while reading my post". That's... less of a plus.

InsertFunnyUsername · 17/07/2019 12:23

It is rude OP. But it wont stop people feeling better about themselves by trying to pick on other posters spelling/grammar. Under the disguise of trying to help 🙄

English is my first language but i am not that great at spelling and have had posters trying to correct me - it makes them look stupid and everyone eyerolls at it. Embarrassing. Tell them to piss off and carry on enjoying your day, they probably aren't Smile

BuildBuildings · 17/07/2019 12:38

Just ignore the spelling and grammar police op! I don't think we should have the same standards for an online forum, probably used on your mobile as say a work document. I feel like these people just need to judge others to make themselves feel better. It is very rare that a post has such bad spelling and grammar that it can't be understood. Which is the only time I'd think pointing it out was OK.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 17/07/2019 12:40

Bad spelling is really hard to read (for me) but I'd only point it out if someone wanted something proof reading.

SmartPlay · 17/07/2019 13:37

Depends how it is pointed out. If someone does it politely, I'm greatful, because I don't want to make mistakes and am glad if someone points them out.
It's the same for instances when due to my mistakes people don't understand what I wanted to say.

If it's just to be rude then, obviously, it's rude.

What I personally don't like when it comes to mistakes in written conversation - and I do point this out occasionally - is the lack of punctuation, because this makes it so hard to read!

ErrolTheDragon · 17/07/2019 13:42

Mumsnet is for everyone who can post within the guidelines.
So if any of the critical posts are personal attacks, racist or ablist, you should report them as those are by the posters who don't belong here.

MindyStClaire · 17/07/2019 13:49

Yeah some people are dicks.

In a way it's nearly a compliment to your English - sometimes a post is very obviously written by a non-native speaker and that's rarely commented on unless it seems relevant to the thread. What does tend to be picked on (again, by dicks) is posts that read like a native speaker with a poor grasp of SPAG. So maybe it's bizarrely a compliment of sorts.

MN is for everyone who chooses to be here and posts within the guidelines though, I was here donkeys before even TTC. Don't let the gobshites drive you away. Flowers

Steaktartar · 17/07/2019 19:51

Thank you @BarbaraofSeville :) the tea thread was quite educating for me

OP posts:
Steaktartar · 17/07/2019 19:52

And thank you also to @MindyStClaire :)

OP posts:
Littleoakhorn · 17/07/2019 20:17

I'm always a bit baffled by the posters who can't cope with spelling and grammar mistakes. Just ignore them OP, they clearly think it makes them look clever when in fact it has the opposite effect.

maddiemookins16mum · 17/07/2019 20:56

People often use the ‘excuse’ that Mumsnet is blunt in a good way etc, meh, most of the time they’re simply being rude and superior.

Ivegotthree · 17/07/2019 21:52

Ahem, @SmartPlay , *grateful

SmartPlay · 17/07/2019 21:55

Blush That was actually a typo, I know that one :D Still, thank you!

GlamGiraffe · 17/07/2019 22:02

There was a post on here not so long ago where English was very clearly not the posters first language. The comments she got were abusive and vile. Plain bullying. I commented as such and asked how many of those commenting would speak to her in such a way in real life. No response. There are plenty of nasty people who find it easy to hide behind the anonymity of a username and a screen and pick on people they don't know. It really is a disgusting reflection of those individuals. Unfortunately vindictive prople are drawn to sites such as this where they can lurk unidentified
It has little to do with blunt honesty. You can be blunt and honest politely, rather than picky and unpleasant. You can answer the posters question not pick their English apart
Op you are reasonable. I feel some other posters are not. We arent all like that😊

Tolleshunt · 17/07/2019 22:07

Yes, Op, there are unfortunately some rather nasty posters who bolster their own egos by putting other posters down, whether for SPAG mistakes, or for having non-approved opinions. I find the snidey comments on SPAG very ill-mannered, personally, though there is the odd poster who manages to point them out in a helpful, constructive manner.

There is also, though, a large number of helpful, supportive posters, who will rally round those in need of help. Keep exploring the site and seek them out. Avoid AIBU if you want to keep the arsehole quotient down.

donquixotedelamancha · 17/07/2019 22:11

Personally I think it's OK to point out common misconceptions (e.g. when 'pacifically' should be 'specifically' or 'could of' should be 'could have'). I would hope people would want to know when they are making persistent glaring errors and I'm not too bothered when someone is too thin skinned to cope.

I also think that some posts are so badly written as to be unintelligible- no paragraphs, on a really long post, is horrible.

However, pointing out things which are Americanisms, typos, conversational typing or minor errors is just pathetic.

donquixotedelamancha · 17/07/2019 22:11

Mumsnet is for everyone. (Except moon landing deniers).

And anti-vaxxers, I wish they'd fuck off too- all the other nutters can stay, they add to the entertainment value.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 17/07/2019 22:33

Does everyone here speak English as a first language?

It's my second language and I post a lot. Probably a bit too much.Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 17/07/2019 22:38

OP... the only posters who would do this are so lacking in themselves that their opinions just don't matter and you can safely disregard them. Some of us are doing more than just rolling our eyes, we're reporting them; MNHQ will delete those posts if they're reported.

No clarification is 'needed', most posters can quite easily comprehend a post without resorting to 'correcting' and being snidey. If they're unable to then they should feel free to backspace out and not impart their wisdom at all, nobody will miss it.

Take no notice - but report.

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