DS obsessed with brands

[Exmoor]

DS 13 now wants to only wear brands, nike, Hugo boss etc. Pisses me off as I am a fairly frugal person. Hate consumerism. AIBU to expect him to wear some things from say M&S????

Allowance!

You buy his basics of school stuff, undies and a few staples and then he buys the rest. He will soon learn to budget and go to H&M for t shirts to supplement the more expensive trainers.

My parents did it with me and it helped me be far more aware and discerning about what I actually needed/really wanted.

My allowance also had to pay for my pets things and my social life. I quickly learned to budget well.

At that age my parents gave me money allocated for me (everything they would have spent on metal wasn’t rolled into household budget/school fees) and I spent it as I chose. It was easy for them and it helped me learn how to budget, taught me about opportunity cost (especially when thinking about buying expensive clothes) etc.

Belindas that's what I did with my DDs - not that they were ever interested in brands, they were always more retro/vintage/charity shop style as they were always nerds and not in the 'popular' crowd.

They're very canny shoppers now, and have timeless wardrobes with outfits for every occasion, including full formal.

He was wanting an expensive pair of jeans £75. I found some identical ones in m&s for £15. So I disagree that m&s is as pricey as the trendy brands.

My DSS is the typical teen and like all his friends are into the brands and have been for a good few years... one thing they don’t care about is jeans though. Skinny jeans from anywhere are fine, it’s everything else that matters. He likes Nike flyknits- these are a pricey £170, he has two pairs Xmas and half half last summer. T-shirt’s range from 20-35 but he has some much more expensive ones. I don’t mind the £20-£35 range as I’d pay that for a nice top.
The above range I disagree with!
We’ve a designer outlet near us that we get his jumpers (Ralph Laurent, Hugo etc) from and his hoodies etc. But we tend to clothe him out for birthdays and Xmas and then buy the top up bits here and there during the year.
He would refuse to wear m&d T-shirt’s etc so I wouldn’t force them on him as total waste of money for something that would never ever be used!

Best he gets himself a paper round then. Show him how saving for something you really want works.

In 1996 I saved for about 6 months working Saturdays in a chippy for a pair of trainers. My parents wouldn't piss away money on something with a brand name on it if they could get the same thing for 1/4 of the price with no brand. I agree with them now.

Yabu to say M&S. Primark, Boohoo, ASOS or H&M isn't unreasonable

Isn’t the point of a teen to rebel against their parents beliefs? This stage won’t last for ever, it’s just one of the many teenage stages.

Buying him M and S is going to go down like a lead balloon, and the money will be wasted as he won’t wear them.

I would just let him have stuff from Sports Direct. They are as cheap as M and S.

If you are against consumerism you can bet your bottom dollar he will be for it. This will probably change as he gets older. But part of learning about yourself is separating from and rejecting your parents values. This is what he’s doing. The other part is fitting in with peers. And this is also what he will be doing.

He could earn the money..,. But at 13 there’s very little they can do apart from paper rounds.

There is a middle ground here . You don’t have to spend £75 I. Jeans you can agree an amount and go shopping for them.

I'd compromise, buy him a couple of nice bits ( branded) and the rest be non branded. DS1 (15) likes ASOS stuff, and it's quite reasonable. He loves his brands and this is what we stick with. If he wants more branded stuff then I expect him to chip in / earn it

My son aged 15 is like this. And was thoroughly depressed when he went to Bicester Village and couldnt afford anything! I told him if he likes the labels then he needs to ensure his future job will allow him to fund that lifestyle...!
Bovingdon market does fake designer clothes and he often goes there with his friends. They are happy so it must be ok! I also do what other mnetters do and gjve him money for birthdays which he then saves and spends on clothes. Its so alien to me. I never aspired to owning a Dolce and Gabbana or Gucci item of clothes as a teenager....

Maybe have a look at 'Foot Asylum' website. Look at their sale page, I have bought loads of reasonably priced designer label clothes from them in the past. As sad as it is, when all their friends are wearing these kind of clothes, some kids can be mocked for not wearing similar, (and it does happen, especially at the teenage stage.).

A 12 year old spent £480 on one pair of trainers?! Bloody heck . My 10 year old has better money sense than that . The designers really know their audience when they can brainwash pre teens to spend stupid amounts of money on something which has absolutely no value . You do realise that unless you genuinely are incredibly rich your child will look daft swanning around in £480 trainers .
You should buy your son a copy of a money management book instead . They’re never too young to learn .

Tkmaxx and the sale section.
Also he is young but he can Ebay sell. My ds is 14 been doing it for two years. I post his items but he does the rest. At times he makes more than me

My DP is now 22 and really resents his parents for the way they dressed him.
All through being a teenager they dressed him cheap sports brands from sports direct, the likes of Dunlop etc when all the other lads were running about in Nike and Adidas.
It got to the point where if it was an own clothes day at school, which most kids look forward to, he would throw a sicky and wouldn’t go.
I understand that you don’t want to kit your son out head to toe in all the designer names. But if your hatred for consumerism makes him an outsider and that affects him socially, then he may resent you for it in later life.

My mum wouldn't buy brands for me either other than the odd branded sports clothes which I needed to sport. Never casual clothes. Although to be fair she wouldn't be able to afford it, so its not like she was trying to be mean or prove a point.

I got a job at 15 and afforded to buy branded stuff myself. Definitely taught me the value of money.

My kids are not quite at the age of noticing brands, but I am going to buy some branded stuff as we can afford it and it is good quality, though they will not be totally kitted out in brands.

The only branded stuff I’ll buy is Doc Marten shoes for school. They can all whistle/save for anything else unless it comes in ridiculously cheap at Tackymax.

Thankfully none of them care. The 16 year old is a seasoned charity shop browser, the other two just wear whatever.

I wouldn’t be able to deal with a label junkie! :o

I guarantee the "identical" M&S jeans looked nothing like what he wanted.

It's normal for teenagers to follow the crowd for a while. It's how they break away from their family and become independent.

Don't stifle him.

Could you not look at places like boohoo h&m etc. I imagine he would be embarrassed to wear m&s. It's not exactly aimed at cool teenagers is it? I dont see why it has to be m&s or nothing at all. I get you are against consumerism but as a teenager it is totally normal to follow the crowd a bit. You don't have to buy 75 quid Jean's but you could have a look around at other alternatives to m&s.

please read original post. M&s was an example. I could have said Primark, next etc..He currently has no clothes from m&s

Try amazon. I get hilfiger, levis, timberland, pepe jeans etc on amazon for as cheap as tesco. You just have to religiously check sizes and prices all the time.

Ha was wondering if he was 13. My DS (also 13) is also brand obsessed. The way we do it is birthday and Christmas gifts and clothes or money for clothes. He wants some £100 trainers - Ive said no to that one WTF!!

@MrsBlondie JD Sports have massive sales on at the moment. Might be worth a look.

I think it's pretty normal teenager behaviour. It's really tough being a teenager as others can be so judgmental. Why don't you give him a clothing budget and then he can decide what he wants to wear?

How much would be reasonable?