My confidence has been knocked

[partyinapark]

Not sure why I'm posting really. Just feeling so down about my body... Well my boobs...since I went for my first wedding dress fitting on Sunday and the fucking thing was the wrong size. My boobs looked absolutely atrocious, obscene, disgusting. They were basically out on show, the dress was way too small on the bust, I was spilling out. It was just awful. I'd been doing so well... Lost nearly a stone, gone down a cup size, I was expecting the dress to be too big. The way I looked in it brought all my worst fears and insecurities right back and every time I envisage myself in the dress I just want to cry.

I've googled big boob brides and dresses etc, and I find forums and chats where the brides are complaining because of their DD bust. Ha! Try being a JJ!!

Like I said, not sure why I'm posting but I find coming on here can be helpful, so why not.

Someone please talk me down about this!

Probably a daft suggestion but if you feel that uncomfortable could you try a different style dress? I'm an F so big but not as big as you and the one thing I was adamant about was that I wouldn't even try on a strapless dress cos of my boobs. My Mum found one she loved so made me try it on and it was my dream dress. Just thinking if it's not too late you could try other styles, even ones you'd potentially been avoiding.

thank you so much for replying

and no...not a daft idea. I have booked an appointment with another bridal shop today in fact...I need to find a new dress. The original one was strapless but I was going to get straps added at the alterations stage. But now I hate the dress and so its a no-go.

I am just dreading going dress shopping again because my boobs are always an issue and I struggle to get into the dresses. I am a size 12/14 so I'm not massively overweight, my boobs are 32JJ. I've tried plenty of dress styles in a few shops and everyone agrees that fitted is best for me. My original dress was mermaid. I love the shape and it makes me look amazing. Its just the boobs!

It's not you, it's the dress. It clearly doesn't fit. Everyone looks shit in the wrong size clothes. Don't be down on yourself, kick up a fuss with the dress shop to sort it for you. Xx

Seconding @marvellous the problem is the dress not you, once you're in a dress that's the right cut and fit for you, you'll look in the mirror and wonder why you let this one knock you. Have fun trying dresses on today, and try stuff on that you wouldn't usually look twice at, that's where the good stuff lays!

It’s not you it’s the dress!
I have big boobs, dd, and it’s a pain !
My daughter is16, a size 6 and had 30e boobs, so I expect her to have similar problems!!
Go find another dress that fit you and enjoy your day! Xx

I am afraid this is why I have got no strapless tops/dresses in my wardrobe. While they look great on a Gwyneth Paltrow type figure, they really really don’t do me any favours. Actually they make me look worse. Strapless dress can look grotesque on a large bust, the garment won’t be able to support it sufficiently and it will just weigh down unchecked, so will spoilt your waistline, spill out and generally look like you are on the verge of a wardrobe malfunction.

I would say a better bet would be something with shoulders where you can hide bra straps of a good quality supportive bra which will hold your bosom in the shape and outline you want, not let it slope any old how. It can still look nice. There are situations where less flesh is more and classier/sophisticated.

It is no good just going for a random style you fancy, you need to go for a style which will make you look gorgeous and we all have different bodies.

Oh, I am 34GG by the way.

Jayne Mansfield had a large bosom and she wore a mermaid dress.

Get a lace body at the top like hers to give you a streamlined shape so you don’t have cleavage on show.

Thank you everyone. I am reading all your replies with gratitude.

Jayne Mansfield looked fabulous!

Could you find someone who would make your mermaid style that fits over the boobs better? I used to be a GG and down at a 32FF and it's a nightmare at times.

user1486131602 - your daughter! I was the same at her age! She will have more choices than I did thank goodness. There was no bravissimo / pepperberry in my day!

Groovee - you mean just go straight to a dressmaker and not buy via a bridal shop? I wouldn't know where to start

KingMidas - yep. grotesque is the right word. its such a shame because the sales assistant assured me that I would be fine and that they can work miracles and I would feel secure and covered. the dress came back anything but. I burst into tears

Hiya, read your other thread yesterday and really hoping you get a dress you will love. I know when I've tried fancy dresses on including my wedding dress, I've felt like crap too.... I think sometimes it takes our brains a long time to adjust to seeing ourselves in formal wear when we normally just dress casually and it's even harder when your hair and makeup aren't in a fancy formal style too. You must have been very disappointed about the fit too so it just made everything seem worse... Don't be so hard on yourself💐

Thank you Penny for your supportive (being the operative word) message. I know you're right, all of you are. Its what I would tell a friend if she were in the same position. Hard when its yourself though. Its why I posted here. So thanks all x

It's the dress. There will be the perfect one for you, you just haven't found it yet :)
Have you thought about a 50 style one? My dd2 has the same problem.. poor girl is a size 8 with H cups and it's a nightmare to get dresses that don't make her look like Kenny Everett's 'Cupid Stunt' but 50's style ones are fab because they accentuate your bodies curve rather than just the boobs!

This is probably not what you want to hear, but embrace them and love your shape. There are 1000s of women out there who would give anything for big boobs.

Medusa - my wardrobe mainly consists of 50s style dresses. I wanted to veer away from them as its my usual style and I wanted something more "bridal" - but you're right. The style suits me. I will find some bridal ones to try on.

oh and at Kenny Everett's Cupid Stunt

Much sympathy OP I’m a similar size & 32FF (& I’m fucking short & short waisted) ... I hate it; my boobs make me feel grotesque. I’d kill to be able to buy something that just fits ... or look good in anything vaguely fashionable (higher neck, thin straps, crew/bateau/round neck, oh to be able to wear a shirt or blouse with looking like a ship in sail or alternatively like I’m modelling for a porn mag). I get so fucking sick of 50s style, wrap dresses, v necks, fitted everything that’s supposed to suit me - I would love to dress me & not just my tits!

It is definitely the dress. I have D cup boobs and found the dresses all restrictive in the boob area. I think they design them for girls with not much up top but really they need to realise there will be slim girls with big boobs.

Laniakea - yes!! So so so sick of wearing the same dresses day in and day out. I can't dress casually without looking heavily pregnant.

And yes to looking like a porn star

I think that Princess Eugenie’s dress worked really well on her figure. The eye is drawn to the detail over the shoulder and her generous bosom dwells unnoticed underneath.

Shawl collar, that’s what it’s called.

I'm a 32gg and a size 10 - wore the Ronald Joyce Hayden to get married in - it was amazing, I LOVED it, you've either not found the right dress or definitely need another fitting

Strapless dresses look pretty bad on everyone bar the tall, skinny and boobless. I don't understand their popularity as wedding dresses.

Try some different styles to see what works.