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Original poster

Witnessed a horrific accident, handhold please

19 replies

Alphabetstew3 · 16/07/2019 07:13

I witnessed a horrific accident outside of my home. I live on quite a busy road in London and it’s not unusual to see collisions, however Iwalked up and someone had just been hit by a lorry, I saw the body and that the responders were attempting resuscitation but it wasn’t working. Devastated for the person and their loved ones of course but also can’t get the images of the resuscitation or body out of my mind. Every time I hear a car screech or horn blare I feel panicked and am doing everything I can to avoid that street. (We have a rear entrance that takes me down a quieter side road but I still have to go near the main road.)

Not sure what to do, it’s keeping me up at night, just looking for a handhold I suppose or any advice really.

OP posts:
LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 16/07/2019 07:15

Firstly, what you are experiencing is completely normal following an incident like that Flowers

Secondly, go and have a chat with your GP my lovely.

BogglesGoggles · 16/07/2019 07:18

You need some medical treatment. Go ASAP. The longer you delay the less effective CBT is. So sorry you saw that, I can’t imagine how horrible it is Flowers

MustardScreams · 16/07/2019 07:20

God you poor thing. I would look at getting some talking therapy ASAP. Something like that can knock you for six and it’s best not to ignore it.

Candymay · 16/07/2019 07:50

So sorry you’ve been through this. I am surprised at the comments advising you to get some help for yourself- I wouldn’t have thought of that or known that anything is available. But you have had an awful shock and it makes a lot of sense to go to your GP and see what support there is.
Completely natural that you would be very upset by this.

Original poster
Alphabetstew3 · 16/07/2019 08:15

Thank you all, been in tears all morning. Have notified my work and not been in this week as I can’t bear the thought of getting the bus where the accident happened.

OP posts:
TheFatberg · 16/07/2019 08:24

You're getting well meaning but ill informed advice here. Guidance after an incident like this is watchful waiting, so your GP can't and won't do anything. You may not need therapy. Advice is to see how you are after a month.

www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/problems-disorders/coping-after-a-traumatic-event

cherryblossomgin · 16/07/2019 08:36

I witnessed someone being resuscitated after drowning on holiday The guy never woke up. When I experience something upsetting I sleep. I slept for two days after that. It was my favourite beach and ive not returned yet. Give yourself time to process and do what you need to do to feel better. Check if your GP has a mental wellbeing advisor or someone similar that you can talk to if you need to.

Finfintytint · 16/07/2019 08:46

You are experiencing a normal reaction to an abnormal event. Don’t go rushing off to a gp yet. Give it a few weeks.

Lovestonap · 16/07/2019 08:56

As pp have said, this is normal after a shock. Normal processing can take up to around 6 weeks. Distress for longer than that can mean treatment is indicated, until then good self care and talking to friends will help.

Original poster
Alphabetstew3 · 16/07/2019 09:01

Thank you, yes I can’t get an appointment with my GP for nearly two weeks. Quite hoping this will lift soon. Been talking a bit to DP about it but he doesn’t know what to do to help me. Worried if I talk to friends they’ll feel burdened. Also feel a bit rubbish for feeling so sad-a poor person has died and their family is truly grieving now.

OP posts:
YouokHun · 16/07/2019 09:06

Agree with posters saying you’re having a normal reaction to a distressing event. The best thing you can do is talk it through with someone and be kind to yourself. If after a couple of months the intensity hasn’t diminished somewhat and you find you’re reliving the event (flashbacks) and having nightmares then it is probably the right time to seek more structured help.

YouokHun · 16/07/2019 09:24

BogglesGoggles that’s not correct about CBT.

TheBrockmans · 16/07/2019 09:30

As others have said it is a normal response to a traumatic event. You are going out which is great. Talk to friends about it and do things that you enjoy. If things don't improve then there are treatments such as CBT and EMDR which will help but you have lots of in built resilience and if you give your body and mind a chance to process everything then you are likely to be able to process the events yourself. It must have been a huge shock for you though and you need to give yourself time.

Maybe get on at a different stop for a short while (tell yourself it will be some good extra exercise anyway), and one day you will be running late and suddenly realise that you can get the bus from there and you will be ok.

DerelictWreck · 16/07/2019 09:35

OP I know exactly how you feel. I also saw someone get run over by a lorry last year in central London. No need for resuscitation in this case, the poor person didn't stand a chance.

I was on my way to work and went straight into the office, into the loos and had a complete meltdown.

It took me about 6 months to be able to walk down that road again, and weeks to get the sound out of my head. and to this day I still think about it and look at that spot on the road each time I pass by.

But it does get better, and now I use that recollection to think of the person and their family, rather than the accident itself.

stucknoue · 16/07/2019 09:36

Hugs, please make sure you talk to people irl and seek professional help if you need it, it's horrible. I've witnessed two deadly crashes in my life and I can still see the first one in particular as if it were in front of me despite it being 40 years later, ptsd is possible so as I say, see your gp if after 2-3 weeks you are struggling to get on with life

TheBrockmans · 16/07/2019 09:40

Been talking a bit to DP about it but he doesn’t know what to do to help me. Worried if I talk to friends they’ll feel burdened.

He doesn't need to do anything, just listening is enough. Same with your friends. They will not feel as burdened as you and think about whether you would be happy to listen to them if they were in need. Obviously you feel for the person and their family, but your experience is real and valid too and just because theirs is worse it doesn't mean that you shouldn't acknowledge your feelings and talk about it.

VenusTiger · 16/07/2019 09:41

You can call Samaritans about this OP. They are offered to inquest jurors too. Call them.

Zaphodsotherhead · 16/07/2019 10:19

Talk talk talk about it. To anyone who will listen. Somehow, the more you speak about it, and tell everyone all the little details, the less power it will have over you.

I can't even bear hearing that dull metallic thump of two cars colliding since I was in a (very minor) accident several years ago, but recounting every tiny detail to willing listeners means it's lost it's ability to wake me in the night.

Ginnymweasley · 16/07/2019 10:27

Last year I witnessed a bike crash involving a young boy. It was horrible. For weeks I couldn't even think about going into the town where it happened. Then I managed to go into the town but couldn't go onto the street where it happened. It took a couple of months but I now walk along that road every couple of weeks. Sometimes I think about it like when I hear a bike. It happened during a local event and I dunno if I will be able to go this year but it did get better.

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