What things helped when you lost your Dmum?

[Aqueo517]

My lovely friend’s mum is very poorly in hospital. This is the first time a close friend has lost a loved one and I feel a bit lost as in how to help. We live a couple of hours apart so I can’t just pop in with a hug. I’m messaging her everyday but I don’t know what to say really, nothing I type feels right ‘thinking of you’, ‘sending my love’ just doesn’t feel like it’s cutting it. I saw her at the weekend which was nice.

What things helped you? Did texts help even if they’re the same messages repeated?xx

You sound like a lovely friend.

In all honesty, it's just nice to hear from people. 'How are you doing today?' 'Just checking in', 'Hey, how's your Tuesday going?', etc.

You don't need to send messages you might not otherwise send. Just staying in touch, and knowing someone is thinking of you just really helps.

Keep talking and messaging. It doesn’t matter what you actually say.

‘I’m here if you want to talk - or not’ that’s all you can say really.

She will find that some people she thought she knew/trusted will blank her at this time. For whatever reason - so keep the lines of communication open.

At times like these, listening is often more use than talking, OP.
You are being a kind friend in letting her know you are there for her, if and when she needs to vent her distress.
Put her in your prayers, and continue to let her know you’re available to chat and are caring about her.

When my best friends mum got really ill she was moved to palliative care. I cooked a load of food and went to her house and put it in the freezer, I did her a load of washing and hoovered and tidied a few bits up.
Just keep doing what you are doing, she knows you are thinking of her and will be there for her.

Thanks everyone. I wish I could do more practical stuff to help, I’m good at that but I just can’t with the distance.

I’ll keep messaging xx