Help

[Mmamabear]

My ds is 18 months old, ive never been able to get him to go sleep in his cot always has to be in my arms then I'd put him in his cot and most of the time he would sleep all night. The last 2 weeks have been a nighmare though, he has been so difficult, as soon as i put him down he wakes screaming or if he stays asleep its only for a couple of hours then takes me 2 hours to get him back to sleep. If i put him in bed with me i cant sleep worrying.
In the day he is clingy and has tantrums, i feel like im constantly shouting at him.
Im exhausted and hate myself for my lack of patience. Im constantly crying.
I've failed as a mother, lousy wife and everyone arounds me wants me to have another baby but how can i when i cant cope with the one ive got.
Ive lost myself and dont know how to get back or who to turn to

He’s failed at being an easy baby! You’re doing fine but it’s incredibly hard to see the wood for the trees when your child is putting you under so much pressure to respond 24/7 with no real break.

Right, give him neurofen 15mins before bed (could be teething so worth trying to rule that out). Put him in the cot confidentially as if it’s what he does every night, say goodnight and put you go. He might rage instantly but give him 10mins to think (for him to have a chance to evaluate his options). You’d be surprised what they choose to do sometimes when given the chance.

He’s too old for rocking to sleep, they get very agitated at this age in my experience being stimulated and attended to when they’re actually shattered and want to switch off. All babies are different but try a new approach because what you’re doing isn’t working anymore. Just make sure you do it with (fake) confidence! They really do take your cue on how to react so if you look unsure they’ll shout louder and longer knowing you weren’t totally clear on what you were doing and might just come back if they make you.

Good luck. Try some new things and even if you can’t cope with a bit of CIO for long you just might see a way that you can go forward.

Really? Nurofen every night before the child goes to bed??? Are you mad???

Can I ask why you worry when he is in bed with you? What are you worried might happen?

If i put him in bed with me i cant sleep worrying

What are you worried about? Get a bed rail, you will be fime. If you are worried about overheating, get a single duvet for tou & put a light sheet over baby, next to you.

I did this with DD & it worked great for us.

He is very boisterous and i worry he'll wake before me and bounce of the bed

You could put a bed rail on his side & on the bottom, they are around £15 or duvets on the floor, & a stair gate on your door.

I think you will both be jumping around after a good nights sleep!

He obviously wants to be near you, & I dont see the harm in it at all, I reckon he will wake you up by singing or stroking your face.

DD used to.

How about a toddler bed for him?

No I meant neurofen tonight to see if it made a difference and test the teething theory. If it did make a difference then I would use it again a few times as a child screaming from pain deserves to have it treated, even if I typically hate using medicine.

No your not a bad mother- you’re an exhausted mother, no one can think rationally ok broken sleep.

Have you tried self settling? If nothing else is wrong with him: not hungry not wet not teething then his tears will be of the unknown!

I have been giving him calpol because he's showing signs of teething although i cant see any coming through.
Ive tried leaving him but he works himself into such a state, ive tried sitting next to his cot but after an hour of him crying and a numb bum i gave up.
Ive thought about trying a toddler bed but we are hopefully moving soon so was going to wait till we are settled.