What were your misconceptions as a child?

[Geekster1963]

I always used to think when a pub said 'free house' it meant you got free drinks. I also thought a '99' was so called because it cost 99p. (Was a lot less when I was a child).

99s did cost 99p when I was a child so I thought that too.
That God lived on the ceiling of my grandmother's church and wore a green dress, like the priest.

That grownups had their shit together (except for a few exceptions). Now I know most of us are just winging it 😂

It is because it was 99p isn't it?

Helping police with their enquiries - that they were just helpful people, probably good at cluedo 🙈

I also thought a free house meant you got free drinks
I didn’t know that hand gliding is hang gliding .
I used to think God’s name was Peter, because when we had to shake hands with each other at church we said what I thought was “Thanks Peter God” a few years later I learned that it is in fact “Thanks be to God”

I thought that when someone 'absconded' it was probably a polite term for something very depraved and unmentionable in polite company.

GOK why I didn't just look it up in a dictionary.

Some loos used to be labelled 'WC' and as I was told this stood for 'water closet' I didn't think you were allowed to poo in them, only pee.

I worked with someone who was seconded to a different branch, after the meeting with management she stormed into the office looking pale and worried and blurted out “I’ve been bloody absconded” it still makes me giggle now.

I heard an article on Radio 4 about the use of local vs general anaesthetic. I couldn't understand why anyone would want local anaesthetic which I took to mean made out of local herbs rather than being real medicine.

I used to think God’s name was Peter, because when we had to shake hands with each other at church we said what I thought was “Thanks Peter God” a few years later I learned that it is in fact “Thanks be to God”

As a small child, I used to think that the lay reader at church was called Peter God, for the same reason. He read the first lesson every week, and the congregation always responded with "Thanks, Peter God." I remember wondering whether his surname had inspired him to go into church work.

That the TV mast thing at Ally Pally was the Eiffel Tower until I was about 14

Also thought that drinks were free in a Free House. (Completely logical really!)

That the Wombles of Wimbledon would 'come when you wee,'(instead of .. "Common are we" ). I used to sit on my potty for ages waiting for them for!!

My mum and I used to go to the library a lot and get books out when I was small. I noticed one day that the one she was reading appeared to be two books in one, because the pages on the left had Jane Eyre at the top of them, whereas the ones on the right had another name so I thought that all the left pages were one book, and the right hand ones a different book entitled Charlotte Bronte.

I have no idea why I thought this only applied to her books and absolutely none of the ones I read.

Loving 'thanks Peter God'!

I thought mail order meant male order, meaning only men and boys could order. Was really sad when my mum said some trainers I wanted were "male" order only.

Mummy!

DaphneFanshaw - Peter God made me chuckle so much and also made me feel better about about thinking 'Peace be with you' when the congregation shake hands with those around them was 'Pleased to meet you'

(Details changed)

My Mum had 2 friends called Anna.

One lived close to us and the other in Surrey - so she used to refer to her as Anna Surrey.

I didn’t realise that wasn’t her actual surname until I was about 21 - I thought it was just a funny coincidence

That you went to a maternity hospital to buy a baby. I had the idea that all the babies were in labelled shoe box type of boxes on shelves behind the counter.
You just went in and told the Nurse whether you wanted a boy or a girl and she would take one down and put it on the counter.
You would then pay the money, she would give you your change and you would bring the baby home.
I was 7 years old when my younger brother was born and i still believed this, despite my mother giving birth in her bedroom with the midwife as we played in the lounge below. My grandmother who was looking after us at the time told us that she was a nurse seeing to mum as mum had a tummy ache
If only the reality was that simple. Haha.

I always wondered what Bill Posters had done because there were always loads of signs say "Bill posters will be prosecuted ".

I'm American and was raised in the "Bible Belt" and I genuinely thought that if you did something bad, the devil would take you to hell that night. Once I took a cookie my mom said I couldn't have and didn't sleep all night because I kept thinking I could feel my bed sinking to hell.

Suffice to say, I am now an atheist.

I used to think Park and Ride was some kind of excellent funfair. We never used it so I was never corrected. I would have been sorely disappointed.

I thought that ice cubes were called somes because DM would ask me 'Do you want some?'

The "thanks Peter God" must be even more confusing if you had heard of St Peter being the guardian of the gates of Heaven. I heard "co-conspirator" on the radio, and thought it was "coke and spiriter".

When people had coloured fingernails, I thought they were naturally like that: I didn't realise they were painted. I was also very confused by people who changed their hair colour: my mum never did either of these when I was a child.

@Charley50 I made a similar Eiffel Tower mistake: not Ally Pally, but a similar mast at Crystal Palace (which I also thought was still a palace).

When I queued to play pin the tail, aged 5, I thought that I would still be able to see the brightly patterned scarf, and it would only block a small part of my vision (childish logic), so I would win. I couldn't understand why the party mum asked each child "can you see?". Then it was my turn, I was blindfolded... and no matter how much I moved my head, I couldn't see the scarf, the donkey, or anything at all! I didn't win either.

I thought the world was black and white until colour became available in the 70s, not just photographs and TV

I thought we only used the credit card when we didn't have money and that if we used it people would think we were poor.

I guess it makes sense because my mum usually used cash and would then go "oh I don't have enough" and take out the card.

I'd always say "we have lots of money at home though" so the cashier knew we weren't poor.

No CherryPlum they were popular since the 1930s. That would have made them the equivalent of about 65 quid today! They are not that fucking good!