Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Join the discussion and meet other Mumsnetters on our free online chat forum.

Chat

Advice - new partner needs access to marital home for his stuff

12 replies

Rubyringo · 13/07/2019 20:02

We are in Scotland, he is separated with this wife in England. They have been apart two years. She wont engage at all, like at all, in any way, she wants him to sign court papers saying she owns all the property in the house. He wont sign until she lets him get access. She wont give him access till he signs,,, it’s doing my head it, causing us big stress. Any advice, can he just go? Knock on the door, go with a police officer? She told him she would call the police if he turned up for harassment so he won’t do anything. Any advice welcome. :-)

OP posts:

Thanks

Report

Soola · 13/07/2019 20:05

How do you know she hasn’t binned or sold his stuff?

Thanks

Report

Rubyringo · 13/07/2019 20:09

I am sure she has,, to be honest, house is up for sale and none of his stuff is in the pics,, just want it done so he can go get his stuff or not and move on

OP posts:

Thanks

Report

Singlenotsingle · 13/07/2019 20:09

If the house is jointly owned in both names, he's entitled to just go in. He would even be entitled to move back in if he wanted to. He should write to her and tell her when he's coming. He could contact the police himself beforehand and get them to go in with him. Beware she's probably changed the locks.

Thanks

Report

pinkyredrose · 13/07/2019 20:12

Why did they split up and why would she call the police if he turned up?

Thanks

Report

Rubyringo · 13/07/2019 20:22

@pinkyredrose Not a nice relationship, all done on her terms. Quite abusive. He is scared of her tbh. So does nothing and she plays on that. I think if he tells her she is coming with a police officer she would surely try to be there and amenable!

OP posts:

Thanks

Report

ISmellBabies · 13/07/2019 20:28

What stuff is still worth his time 2 years out of an abusive relationship? I'd be questioning his side of the story tbh. Surely at this point you'd be thinking it's better to cut your losses to end contact altogether. He seems to be doing the opposite, keeping on telling her he's turning up for his stuff which he can see in photos she's already got rid of, why? What does he gain out of this other than the satisfaction of pissing her off? Are you sure she was the abusive one?

Thanks

Report

Sforsh49 · 13/07/2019 20:30

I can see why he would want to go with the Police and he should phone them when he is going however they won't go with him they will advise him to go himself and to ring once there if they are needed. They are so under resourced it's just not possible to go. If he's had no contact with her save through solicitors she can claim harassment but it won't get him arrested, there needs to be a continued course of contact over a period of time, so text messages, calls etc and if he's not made any or she's been responding to them or sending them to him then he's nothing to worry about. If he's not had his stuff for two years he's probably better just writing it off and moving on with his life - I know it's easier said than done

Thanks

Report

ZillaPilla · 13/07/2019 20:31

Can you explain how the court papers state she owns all the stuff? The court must have come to that decision somehow.

When I bought my ex out of our home part of the "deal" was that he had a certain period of time to get his things or for us to discuss splitting joint stuff, after which time it all became mine ie owner of property. We are both in England.

Thanks

Report

Rubyringo · 13/07/2019 20:36

@Ismellbabies I am sure, he doesn’t bother her at all really because he is scared to, she wont engage with her own lawyer never mind anyone else. It is things like photographs, things that belonged to his parents, family momentous and their ashes,,,

OP posts:

Thanks

Report

Rubyringo · 13/07/2019 20:44

@zillapilla the papers she sent him to sign came via his solicitor, its. She had them written up with no consultation with him, if he signs he agrees that she wilds own all possessions in the house and she can sell the house which is in negative equity..its a ticking time bomb this lot....when and if he signs she will then present to the court via her solicitor.

OP posts:

Thanks

Report

Mythreefavouritethings · 13/07/2019 20:51

Sorry, why would you question his side on this basis? I’m trusting that the OP knows this man well enough and I wonder how our choices would stand up to MN scrutiny. Who knows why he still wants it after 2 years but he’s had no joy in getting it thus far, has he? 🤨

Thanks

Report

ZillaPilla · 13/07/2019 20:59

So they're not court papers, just what she has instructed her sol to write. If he has a right to enter the home (name on mortgage) then sol should have advised her client accordingly. If he has no right then that's that, no access.

If she is refusing access to his property he can get police to escort him there, or he can instruct sol accordingly to inform her when he will get his stuff.

If she is selling the house then she must have his agreement if it's joint owned