DD is 14, has had a tough year, and does tend to get caught up in various friendship dramas. Her friends all use social media a lot, and although we police and limit hers, I tolerate it because I don't want her to be left on the outside of life - and sadly much of life seems to be planned this way.
Recently I've noticed her looking at her phone, at which point, her mood changes - either she becomes quiet/sad or angry - but definitely a negative reaction. She knows that I have access to her social media but i never spy on her or read her messages. However after a lot of persuasion from me, she told me that I could look but I was not allowed to do/say anything.
A girl, from another school (but nearby and with some mutual friends) is threatening to hurt her. She has accused DD of 'flirting' with her boyfriend who DD once messaged about a group meetup and ended her message with a 'x'. It would be laughable and non-event but the threats are very specific - voice messages and texts and talk about coming to her house (she has our address) and beating her up/smashing her face into a curb/'damaging' her - really violent talk. This girl is 14 and the messages have been going on for about a month. DD has responded asking why she is angry/apologising for any misunderstanding and being far more 'humble' than she usually is (so I know she is intimidated) but this girl is having none of it - lots of c**t/slag/watch your back etc... really vile.
She then goes on to mention names of mutual friends (at this girls school) and declares that they are now hate DD and want to see her get hurt. She has sent videos where she verbally threatens DD and these so-called friends are in the background egging her on and laughing.
OF COURSE my first reaction was to call the girl's school or even the police, but DD showed me a couple of private messages from two of the mutual friends warning her against 'snitching' because this girl is apparently fearless and known to 'make good' on her threats. One of the notes also told DD that the girls brother is in a gang, her mother is known to be quite aggressive and her dad is a local drug dealer - in other words, they are not necessarily people who are going to give a flying fuck about a teacher or policeman addressing this - on the contrary that may well inflame the situation.
A quick google and chat to one mother I know from that school, has confirmed some of this, and I now feel completely intimidated, frightened for DD and unsure of how to move forward. DD says to leave it as hopefully she will find someone new to bully over the summer, but how can I ignore it? I can't...
This is so out of our league and I really don't know how to approach it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.