Anyone else beat themselves up for not always organising stuff for DCs?

[Bunnylady53]

Now the lovely weather is here, I worry that I’m not making the most of it with DD. We’re lucky enough to live minutes from the beach but rarely go. We don’t have room in our garden for a paddling pool etc cos it’s full of rabbit hutches. And I keep meaning to take DD out after school to burn off some energy but more often than not we end up at home. DM was very hot on being “ productive” when I was growing up so I find it difficult to just kick back & relax. It’s approaching the end of term so DD is getting pretty tired. Why can’t I just chill?! Can anyone identify with this? Media doesn’t help as in summer we are “ supposed” to be going on picnics, inviting friends for BBQs etc. Some evenings I barely have the energy to knock up a sandwich!

Anyone?

I get what you mean. I hate sitting around all morning. I want to get up and do something! At the same time, I feel like the stuff we are doing could be better. We could go to the park more (live opposite one but rarely go!), nice walks and picnics etc.

Bump

How old is she?
DS is coming to the end of Reception and he's very tired. Often he just wants to play at home after school. I generally take the lead from his behaviour now.

In the holidays especially the summer ones as they’re so long, I create a list of activities with the kids and I’m even so pedantic I will write the prices next to it. They choose from the list a couple of times a week. The rest of the time we try to keep things free and have at least a couple of days a week around the house or even just walking in the local area from the house.
I find it harder work to entertain kids in the house though.

I don’t think people need to fill every minute of the day with ‘activities’ and if you and your DD are happy just relaxing at home then that’s fine ... but if it was me, living minutes from the beach I can’t think of anything nicer than a gentle walk by the sea after school/work.

I have an only DC and I did used to organise quite a lot of things for him to do in the holidays/after school ... mainly because he enjoyed it and like being with other children (I preferred chilling out on my own when he was at school or on one of his activities ).

Let her rest. Over scheduled dc end up with no imagination.

I have the same guilt during the school holidays. I aim to plan something every day even if it’s just a small thing such as crafts/the park but realistically it doesn’t always happen.

Kind of...DS (3) often complains he's got no friends. He's got lots of friends at nursery but he sees the big kids playing out the front/having playdates in the back garden next door and wants friends at home to.
He's at nursery 8-5.30 so he can't really do playdates. Don't see any of the nursery parents enough to invite them round at the weekend.

DD is 10. Also struggle with her screen time as she is really getting into certain games & apps like her friends. I do limit it but sometimes it’s hard to get her to play outside

OP I go thru stages of feeling like this. I've found inviting friends home after school is a good way to get round it. Then she is relaxing but not bored and building relationships with local kids for when she's old enough to go to the park on her own etc.

And I find it helps to plan something ahead with a friend and their kid/s even if it's just "park after school next Wednesday". Means on Wednesday you don't have to think of a plan or organise anything and because it's already planned you end up going even if you don't really feel like it.

But at the end of term when you and her and the rest of the world is knackered I think relaxing at home is fine, she's been at school all day there's no need to schedule every minute. If you're happy, she's happy and her behaviour is fine you don't have to do what everyone else is (apparently) doing on social media.

I always find the last 2 weeks before end of term a nightmare, the kids are tired and grumpy, and end up fighting! I have no desire to take over tired grumpy kids anywhere 🤷‍♀️

The first week of the holidays will be spent mainly at home chilling out and taking naps, maybe having the paddling pool out. The rest will be semi packed with things and days out etc with some relaxation in between.

I do get like this, I work more or less full time and somedays I just do not have the energy to go to the park...swimming lessons etc.

I don't think there is anything wrong at all with just chilling at home for the last two weeks of term, as DC are inevitably tired. But, I would try and make sure your DD is doing something other than just screens - go to the library on the way home from school, get her to make cakes, or dinner, get her to send postcards to family members who will hopefully write back. Nothing too complicated, or expensive, just not a screen!

In the actual holidays, I don't think there is any need to plan activities for every day. But I would make sure you do something out of the house every day, even if it is just going to the beach for an ice cream.

Yes, I work 13hr days/ 12hr nights in a job that exhausts me physically and mentally, so I don't always have enough resources left for DC. DC2 will be starting school in September, so I am aware that this is the end of us having any time together and I am wasting it by not organising great stuff for us to do. And, next week DD1 breaks up from school and I have to entertain them both on my days off work with the pressure to do plenty of exciting things but without spending any money because we don't have any money to spare. DC would quite happily watch tv and play on screens in their pyjamas all day most days, and I will probably allow DC1 to do that for a day or so while DC2 is still at nursery because it is less pressure and effort on both of us, but I generally insist that we leave the house everyday even if we just go to the park for a hour or so.
We don't have friends round to play because the house is too much of a tip, but really should sort that.