4 year old struggling to sleep

[Thatsnotmyflamingo]

I'm having trouble getting DS4 to sleep. He goes to bed, has a story and then I have to lie with him for anything up an hour to get him to sleep. He lies quietly for most of that time but he just can't seem to nod off. Does anyone have any suggestions for how I could help him to wind down/switch off?
Obviously, the next step will be to get him to go to sleep by himself but I think I need to help him to get to sleep more quickly before we tackle that.

Following with interest as we are having the same issue at the minute. Is he due to start school in September?

Has he gone to bed no problem before OP, and this is a recent change?

I only ask as we are going through the exact same bad sleep phase, whereas she was a great sleeper before. Has changed in the last couple of months. She is also 4 and due to go to school in September.

This has also coincided with a change in behaviour-periods of really bad listening, more independence, answering back (which she has never done before). I have a few friends with children all roughly the same age, and they are ALL going through this at the moment.

So I am putting it down to an age and change thing that will resolve itself in time-or hoping at least!!

I am not sure what to suggest about the sleep. We have found extra cuddles, praise etc in the lead up to bed seems to work, as does talking about the exciting things that will be happening tomorrow. Then explaining that the quicker she go to sleep the quicker morning will come and the quicker she can do these exciting things. It doesn't always work mind you!! We also sometimes make deals with her -i know some would not agree with that, but it's only little things like if she goes to bed and sleeps well then we can maybe have an ice lolly after lunch the next day as a treat or we can go to the park.

No, he won't be starting school till 2020.
I'm embarrassed to admit he had a bottle till a few months ago, and its since we took that away that we have the problem. After the first couple of nights, he hasn't asked for the bottle so he doesn't really miss it, but it was the thing that wound him down and he is really struggling to wind down without it.
I've tried deals, we use them with success for other things, but the problem isn't really his motivation, he wants to go to sleep, he just can't switch off. Bedtime baths only make matters worse, they seem to give him an energy boost, almost make him hyper.
Watching TV in the evenings doesn't help either, but I'm generally on my own till 7.30 with him and his little sister so its tempting to have it on.

My dd is the same age and we have the same problem. I can go upstairs 90mins after bed time and she's still awake. I'm riding it out currently and hoping it's a blip!

Mine had a dummy for bedtime up until he was 4 in March. I'd been meaning to get rid of it for ages but he went to bed really well with it so I just got really complacent.

Anyway the dentist told me the dummy had to go and ever since then he has been hard work at bedtime. It can often take up to an hour to settle but I refuse to sit in there as we have a nice long bedtime routine.

Audio CDs help as well as making sure that he is tired enough for bed. Other than that, this has become our new 'normal' I'm afraid.

I'm hoping that the start of school in September will help as they should be exhausted!?

Does he have bath before bed? I think it really settles DD4down, also I purposefully chose bedtime books that aren’t too exciting and keep my voice very calm when I’m putting her to bed, I make sure all the blinds are drawn before bath, so the house is quite dark when she gets out. Light nights mess with bedtime. We do bath, mini massage or lotion, book, she occasionally falls asleep during book otherwise it’s kiss cuddle and I leave her to fall asleep. We have this nightlight from amazon, that shines stars across the ceiling and she will just watch them until she drops off.

A friend of mine swears by white noise machine for her DS age 4, knocks him straight out apparently!

Baths have the opposite effect on DS and he's a very 'energetic' child so its difficult to keep bedtimes calm and relaxing when he is trying to jump on his bed wearing his pj bottoms on his head or similar, and his little sister is doing her best to join in the fun .
Thanks for the suggestions re nightlight and white noise machines, these are probably the things I need to try next.
Its reassuring to hear others are going through similar too!

What time does he go up to bed, and what time does he tend to get up OP.

Could it be a case of going to bed to early so isn't tired enough? Or too late and over tired?

That's certainly been part of the problem @waffle; as I think he seems to need less sleep than he did six months ago (11 hours rather than 12 maybe), but he's also been waking up too early a lot recently so we have lots of very tired days , and then when I try to put him to bed at 7.30 or so, I honestly don't know if he is not ready for sleep yet, or just overtired and needs to get to sleep ASAP. A great night for him at the minute is 8.15 to 7.15 but last night was a typical bad night of him in bed at 8, not sleeping till 8.45 and then awake at 6.15, so he is tired today.

@Waffle12 my DS is 3, turns 4 at the beginning of August and due to move into reception in september and he is exactly the same the last few weeks.

I'm exhausted, he's usually a really good sleeper but it's taking atleast 2 hours a night to get him to sleep and even his bath times, that usually knock him out, are having the opposite effect

He's also been a right little grump, it's like he's turned into a teenager lol

It's a comfort to keep reading other parents of similar age children are going through this too

Keeps me a little bit sane