What would you do?

[BooseysMom]

Not too exciting i'm afraid! Basically i need some advice. We're going to a friend's wedding soon and they have stated they don't want gifts, however money towards the honeymoon would be appreciated. I wanted to get a small present and have been looking for photo frames but they are all around £20. At the risk of sounding like a cheapskate, i do need to say we're on a tight budget! So what would you do? .. give all money and no present or less money and a small gift too? Thanks for your help x

[sourcherriesonmytree]

I'd do what they've asked. Money, no gift.

[Soola]

They don’t want gifts. That NO gifts.

Giving a gift is disrespecting their wishes. I would be annoyed if you brought a gift.

If they’ve asked for cash or vouchers then it doesn’t matter if it’s a small amount as it’s all going into one big pot.

[BooseysMom]

Thanks for your quick replies. .. But by gift i'm thinking more housey stuff. they say in their invite they've been together years so already have everything..however they won't have a wedding frame..unless they prefer to get their own. It just makes it more personal

[MindyStClair]

I’d just give cash, it doesn’t sound like they want anything personal. I’m always glad when people ask for cash, it’s so easy!

[AuntyMarysBigRedPants]

I'd give them cash. I would hate a wedding themed frame if that's what you mean

[AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson]

Just give what you can afford, it all goes towards the bigger total at then end and they're CF's if they sneer at a smaller amount. When we got married we said no gifts at all, not even money, but we were overwhelmed by and grateful for the gifts and money we did get and thanks everyone in the same way, whether they got us a cheap Mr & Mrs mug set from the card outlet or dropped £500 into a card.

I don't remember who gave what now but it was lovely to get something and we spend all the cash on our honeymoon 🤣

[AnguaUberwaldIronfoundersson]

Forgive my spelling. Currently being used as a bed for a sleeping baby so little control of phone 😭

[ShirleyPhallus]

Wedding frame sounds horribly tacky, I’d chuck it straight in the bin and never use it. So definitely give them money as they’ve asked!

[Lipz]

I'd go with cash. I got 10 wedding frames when I got married. A ton load of salt and pepper sets. 6 wedding cert holders. 3 kettles and toasters. 8 clocks. I only wish back then people gave cash so I could use it towards what I wanted and needed.

[Bluntness100]

Just money, they have been very clear. If they wished house stuff they'd have said.

[purplecorkheart]

Cash. I can guarantee that they will get loads of people who will ignore their wishes and get them a tacky wedding frame thinking they would be the only one who will get them one. I would also bet money that within six months they will be regifted, in a charity shop or carboot sale.

[noonarna]

We had a similar request.. if someone would have bought us a wedding frame I wouldn't have used it. They're ugly.

Plenty of people didn't give us gifts (because we kept telling people not to!) and it was not an issue AT ALL. We honestly didn't care because we just wanted them there.

I'm confused about your post, are you saying you need to spend less than £20 on a gift?! How are you affording to go in the first place?

[Floralnomad]

What if everybody going to the wedding thinks ‘ but they won’t have a wedding photo frame ‘ they would then have loads , none of which they chose . Just give money .

[Pipandmum]

Do not get a wedding frame. They asked for cash.
My stepson had also been living with his fiancé for years and they were great travellers so most of their wedding list was experienced on their honeymoon like ‘scuba diving session’ and ‘dinner at X (in a city they were going to)’ or ‘Italian cooking course’. If you couldn’t stretch to any of those there was a part buy option too. Made you feel like you were making a personal choice (I got them a fancy dinner and the scuba diving as I had done that with his dad on my honeymoon). There are ways of technically asking for experiences though it really is like asking for cash but much nicer!

[BooseysMom]

I'm confused about your post, are you saying you need to spend less than £20 on a gift?! How are you affording to go in the first place?

No no! I meant i can't afford cash plus a £20 frame.

Anyway, i'm going with what everyone advises. No tacky frame! just cash. Thank you all

[CalmdownJanet]

Wedding frames are ugly and frames in general are too personal a choice (as is anything to be displayed in the home), avoid avoid avoid. The only people who like them are charity shops because i bet that's where most end up

[CalmdownJanet]

Sorry cross posts, good decision

[BooseysMom]

CalmdownJanet.. aah, thanks!

[poppet31]

I'd just go with cash. We got so much wedding related tat and it's all in a box in the loft. There's only so many silver frames one can use!

[BooseysMom]

@poppet31.. thank you