What do you think about this age gap?

[graceandsun]

I'm not going to elaborate on why I'm asking this but what do you think about an age gap of a 17-18 year old girl with a man 14 years older? Interested in people's thoughts. Not going to say anything else in this thread just thought I'd see what people had to say!

Yuk

Suspicious. It’s not the age gap itself, I would feel differently about a 30 year old and a 44 year old but a 17/18 year old and a 31/32 year old instinctively doesn’t sit right with me.

Fails the half plus seven rule (so for 32 year old, no younger than 23). Seems someone immature or just someone who will be controlling, without knowing any more details.

So you are just setting the question and sitting back with no intention of further input!

Why would you do that?

Depends on the maturity of the 17/18 year old and the intentions of the 30+ year old. I don't think just knowing ages can really determine the answer to this.

I’d find it really quite odd tbh and would wonder why he wanted to be with someone so young and immature.

I'd say that the 17/18 yo was too young for a relationship with a 31/32yo. And it wouldn't matter if it was a man or woman who was youngest.

Disclaimer - I'm married to someone 18ys older and we got together when I was 22, so possibly double standards, but there's a big difference in those 5 years.

If it was a 30 yr old woman and a 17/18 yr old lad that’s just as bad as if it was the other way round. It’s the fact that they at 17/18 whatever gender.

Disgraceful on the older person’s part. Very sad for the younger one.

I went to college with somebody who started seeing a guy in his late 30s when we were 17. 10-ish years later, they're married with a couple of kids. He's got a couple of kids who're only a two-t

Posted too soon. He's got two kids who're only two-three years younger than her. She posts all over Facebook about what great brothers they are to her young kids. Bizarre situation that hasn't got any less weird with time. I think teenagers with 30-somethings is too big of an age gap regardless of whether it's an older man or older woman.

I would be suspicious a bit, they are on very different life stages.
Fine if the youngest of them is over 25yo.

Not OK. I would hugely judge the older person as being predatory. No normal person in their 30s is interested in a teenager.

I assume this was you when younger with an older "boyfriend", and you are wondering why nobody ever said anything to you at the time? It might have been that they were worried about pushing you away/further into his clutches.

I'm 20 and have a 36 year old boyfriend, we've been dating for 2 years now and live together. All going well so far :)

Yup it was me when I was younger and not only was this person massively manipulative and controlling but they also got me pregnant. I still wonder why nobody stuck up for me even when I tried to stand up for myself I got the opposite reaction. Sorry I said I wouldn't drip-feed and I'm not going to say anymore as this is already super outing. But no one ever mentioned anything being strange about the age gap either and now I look back on it and it's strange and I wondered what the random people of mumsnet would have to say.

It's not super outing already. No one will recognise you from that description. There will be hundreds of women in exactly the same position.

I was 17 and with a 34yo. Fortunately it didn't last. For years I have wondered why nobody did anything about it.

At 23 I went out with a guy who was 36. Looking back he was a creep and got me into all sorts of mischief I would otherwise have been too naive to know about I'm talking fetish clubs etc. Eye opening stuff at the time but wish I'd never met him didn't end well.

I’m in my 40s and l’ve had sex with people more than 14 years younger and 14 years older. And l’m not ashamed of it; no lectures please. It’s about chemistry and passion.

But at 17/18, l don’t think this is good.