bra intervention for dd

[steppemum]

need your help ladies.

dd needs bras, only wants veyr plain sports bras, the more androgenous the better.
She didn't want to be measured and won't go to a shop, up until now she has worn thicker crop tops, but they aren't really doing the trick.

She measured herself, and I went and bought a selection (she told me 36"
They are all way to big.
I persuaded her to let me measure, and she is 29" underneath and 35" on top.

I cannot imagine she is only a 30 band as dd2 is skinnier and a 30/32. She does not want a tight band.
I can buy a whole set of sizes, but I am struggling.

if I got a 32, what cup size would that be?

any help much appreciated

This is my 12 year old dd's first bra,www.marksandspencer.com/angel-sport-non-wired-full-cup-bra/p/p22455623?image=SD_02_T33_9100_UT_X_EC_90&color=GREYMARL&prevPage=plp. She likes it in grey marl. It's sporty and comfortable. I tried the bra intervention with my Dd, but remember that if they're not used to a bra, a tight band can be very uncomfortable. I sent our first order back and reordered with a larger band and smaller cup.

There's nothing wrong with decent sports bras, ( there is no actual need to wear a bra, it has actually been proven bras in the long run make your breasts sag as the muscles which support the breasts give up ) ... if that's what she's comfortable with. What do you mean by "not doing the trick"? I'm not sure why eveyones hell bent on squeezing their boobs into unnatural shapes to be socially accepted.
P.s. yes I am a bra wearer most of the time but I wish I had stuck to sports bras and crop tops now with hindsight.

It has not proven that bras make breasts sag. There are no muscles inside the breasts themselves. There was one study, always cited with this claim, which found that women who often go braless have less saggy boobs. This study did not take into account that women who have bigger boobs (which will inevitably be more affected by gravity) are less likely to go braless in the first place. So study actually showed only that smaller boobs sag less.

raspberry - most women wear the wrong bra size.
The first reply said that if she measured 29" then she is size 34. The old way of measuring was to add 4 " to the size you measured. But in fact the correct way to measure is that if you measure 30" then your badn size is 30".

So the most commonly bought size is 36B, most of those women are probably a 32 or 34 and probably a D or E cup.

M&S is (was?) one of the worst offenders, they, until recently, still added the 4 inches on. It is why it is hard to find larger cup sizes and smaller band sizes when buying bras.

There have been LOADS of threads about it on mn, and that is why I was asking about the mn bra intervention.

Marks do very plain 'minimizer' bras in larger sizes, up to G/H I think. Good luck.

Have you looked at Molke bras? They are amazingly comfy and, as well as the regular white and black colours, they come in some lovely prints.
Have a look. They also hold their value and there is a buy sell trade page on Facebook.

www.molke.co.uk/pages/home

Have you tried the boob or bust calculator?
I was wearing 36F, boob or bust said I was a 32H and they fit a million times better and look loads better. The back strap no longer rides up and I don't get red strap marks on my shoulders.

booborbust.com/

Another vote for Molke! Comfy, colourful and crop top style.

I'm a 29" under bust, 36" Over (measured with a bra on). I wear a 28G or 30FF.

That might help, if the 12 samples you brought home dont work out.

booborbust.com/
Try this calculator. It's the best I've found. Remember though it's a starting size you may need to adjust a little depending on styles.

Shock absorbers are always tight on the rib cage I am 30 in every bra but 32 in shock absorber x

So, all of the 32 were 'too small' I am little sceptical as she measures 30, so I had already gone up. But the 34s fit.

I said I need to see her in one of the fitting bras to see if it really does fit.

NO! was the reply. It was lastish last night, so I said tonight she needed to show me, there is no point in spending £100 on bras if they don't actually fit.
She has reluctantly agreed and may even come to M&S on saturday to try on a few more.

This is major progress. I think that me insisting she engage is finally getting through, alongside respecting her opinion.

Oh it is such a long slog.

What about bralettes? I am a 30e but wear 32dd as prefer a looser band. Currently breastfeeding and my boobs hurt so I am wearing padded (they have more support) bralettes from tk maxx and while they give support they don't give me big cleavage. So that could be an option?

What is too small, band or cup? Ask her to try the 32 on backwards, hooks under boobs, and if it's still too small this way. If not, she needs a bigger cup, not bigger band.

Sounds like she needs a bigger cup rather than a bigger band.

I do bra measuring for mothercare...she should be comfortable in 34DD

I've just discovered the joy of the M&S DD+ bralet (though sadly not before they went in the sale) and would suggest one of those in her dress size. I've sized up as am a 30G and needed a bit more space in the cup but they give nice shape and decent support and they're so, so comfortable.

There's also a slightly prettier version here

No a woman or girl who measures 29 inches around the ribcage will not be comfortable in a 34 back bra. She'll get no support from this.

Oh god no she shouldn’t be in a 34DD

I’m a 30G and a size 16, people are always shocked if we discuss bra sizes (which we don’t often)! It’s so embedded into people that 34/36 is average for most women.

Shock absorbers are really good. They definitely flatten if that’s what she’s wanting (especially the wire free ones).

I'm about her size, maybe slightly smaller of nork. To be honest, when I wear a bra, I tend to wear 34B/32C because I don't NEED the support, and I find a 30 band really uncomfortably tight. If she doesn't have very much flesh/fat around her ribcage, she might well find this. I don't find that the boob or bust/bra intervention methods work for me.

ok, I wasn't clear, so by 'too small' she meant the band was too tight. Cups are fine. One she said the cups were massive (that was a 34 though, so the cups would have been bigger than the 32)

She was doing it up in front and swivveling it round, but said it was so tight she couldn't swivvle it (how do you even spell swivvle?)

But I agree, I don't think she should be in a 34 if it is loose, which is why I said I wanted to see.

because she has been wearing old soft crop tops, I think she is a bit shocked by the firmness of a bra strap.

But I could havemeasured her wrong. Her younger sister is a 32, and I know I measured her correctly, (and her bras fit properly) and she is a lot slimmer than dd1, so dd1 may be bigger than 32.
No trouble with dd2 and bras she is so body unselfconscious I have to tell her to put clothes on.

So, tonight we will see!

The sloggi ones are good and very stretchy so don't need to get an exact inch measurement.

I think it's a trade off - if you need the boob support, then the tightness around the chest is OK in exchange for good support. For me I don't really need support at all, the main reason I wear a bra is to avoid nipples showing through, I have also worn them in pregnancy to avoid boob movement, so although a tighter band does immobilise my boobs a bit better, that doesn't afford me any more comfort than having them... mobile, so the result is more discomfort overall, from the band being tight. I find a looser band and smaller cup immobilises them enough for sports and pregnancy without being uncomfortably tight around the chest.

Bertie - I think she may be the same. It is really hard at the moment to judge how much actual support she needs
She is the opposite to you though, she is padded round the rib cage.

I don't think I could swivel any of my bras around without serious pulling and yanking. THa'ts not a sign it's too small.