(Not) Reporting Rape

[Moveandlonsters]

I told my Aunt I was raped, I told her I couldn’t cope with anyone knowing and I asked her to keep it to herself and that I was going to be okay.

I’ve since found out that she has told her best friend (she is a police officer).

As a police officer will the best friend have some kind of duty to report the crime?

And if she does is there anyway I can stop it from going forward?

Even if I say I was mistaken in my account of what happened to my aunt?

I know some people will say I have a moral duty to report, and frankly as selfish as it may be I still don’t want to.

I'm sorry that that happened to you, and it is entirely up to you whether or not you want to report it.

Advisemeplease1 thank you. Would that be the view of a police officer who had already been told the details though? I keep looking at my phone waiting for a call. It’s horrible.

Anyone else? I know it’s late but I’m panicking.

I would be incredibly disappointed that my aunt hadn't kept my confidence. It would alter what I told her from now on.

I don't know whether the friend has a duty to log it - presumably she can only do that if you choose to press charges?

From what I’ve read you don’t press charges in the UK and people can report a crime without the victims consent, thank you though.

I’ve learnt I can’t trust anyone and stupidly I almost feel more betrayed by what my aunt did than anything else. I know that sounds ridiculous.

No, I would feel the same. It's always good to have someone you can count on. It's always shit when that person let's you down.

It really is and now I feel like this police officer woman who doesn’t know me has control over some really personal and private information and can do what she likes without my consent. I just wish I knew if she has to report it or if there is a chance she might not.

So sorry you're going through this😞

I would have thought that the police officer would only have a duty to report it if you were a child or vulnerable adult, as like others have said, assuming neither of the above apply to you, it's your private information to disclose (or not!) to whoever you choose and although I'm sure it was well meaning, it wasn't your aunts place to discuss this with anybody else... if she needed someone to talk to or wanted advice, there are plenty of organisations and charities which have helplines she could have rang to confide in anonymously and confidentially..

As far as I know, police don’t act on second-hand reports even when on duty. In a professional capacity I’ve reported several assaults (not sexual) that I’ve witnessed/ colleagues have witnessed and been told they won’t do anything unless the victim reports it as it’s “hearsay” otherwise.
On a personal note, I’ve been in your situation and told no one for months. When I later decided to report it that went against me in court as apparently it “wasn’t normal” to tell no one, and there was nothing to suggest it had happened. If you do change your mind in the future, having 2 people aware will help (not that I’m saying you should or will change your mind).
I understand completely how hard this is.

They don't even investigate when you do bloody report it!

That's neither here nor there.

No - I can tell you unequivocally that she will not do anything about the information. The most she can do is to advise your aunt to tell you to report it and how to do so and what happens etc.

Rest assured - there is absolutely nothing the police officer can or will do.

Thank you. I think my Aunt was “just” trying to help. She asked her friend to go through the local CCTV. I don’t know if individual police officers can do that? Now I’m calmer I assume not. And if she does report it and I’m asked about it I can always just deny it happened. (No judging, I have good reason for wanting it dropped).

If it was reported to police by a third party would it be investigated if I made it clear I wouldn’t contribute to an investigation in anyway? Or would I need to say it never happened? And could I get in trouble for that?
Sorry to keep asking but I need to know. I can’t find anything on Google.

I'm not police or anything relevant, but no, I can't see police pressing ahead with an investigation where the primary witness (you) refuses to co-operate, and there's no forensic evidence.

I'm sorry this happened to you, and I do understand the betrayal you feel towards your aunt.

I am sorry that this awful thing has happened to you. I can only imagine your Aunt was distressed by your chat & needed support herself, even though to you she has broken your confidence. There are lots of support lines in the link below, everything you say to them is in confidence. Many people who have been sexually assaulted access professional support without involving the police. These organisations will only involve the police with your consent. It would probably be good for you to talk to one of the group now to reassure you, and to give you support, take care www.itv.com/thismorning/rape-helplines

Reading through the link below,
the victim decides if they want to proceed after a disclosure or reporting of a crime of this nature to the police https ://www.revealnews.org/article/reporting-to-police-a-guide-for-victims-of-sexual-abuse/