Feeling so, very lonely

[KnittingForMittens]

Just lately, I've started to feel really really lonely. I have a lovely husband and a child who both mean the absolute world to me but I feel like I am missing something in my life.

I used to be bullied when I was at school which really made my confidence hit rock bottom. I eventually made friends and it was all fun for a couple of years but then we all slowly separated and faded away and we never talk at all now. I don't even have their numbers or addresses! This was over 10 years ago now. I've had friends here nor there but they was just users and only wanted to use me for their own gain (because they had nobody else to go with them somewhere, for example).

I deleted all of my social media accounts almost 3 years ago as those on my "friends" list were not even my friends anyway. Even my own family didn't bother. It was also ruining my confidence with everyone photographing how perfect their lives are! I couldn't handle it anymore so I deleted it.

I have 1 best friend since we was at primary school but she has her own life and friends as she does not have a partner or children so she is still living the party life.

I've been toddler groups and soft play but I just felt so out of place and everyone was chatting amongst each other and I was just there.

I am scared about the future. What about when my Son grows up and goes to school? How am I going to bring myself to invite the parents and school children for his birthday parties etc? I am so fed up of feeling like this.

All I do is go to work (only socialisation I get), knit (hence the name), watch TV, go grocery shopping, housework, everything I do is either by myself or with DS. I don't ever get any real, proper adult conversation.

Am I destined to just be like this forever? Sorry I am quite hormonal as I am also on AF so that's not helping matters is it?

Hi
I think lots of people go through phases of feeling this way, especially at transitional time sin life, like when you have small DC so there's less in common with your ex-best friend.
Honestly, what I learned from a similar time is that it's fine to have different types of friendship. If you go around desperate for close friendships that will ease the loneliness, somehow people get a scent of your desperation and avoid you. But if you just happily mix socially and take things as they come, life is easier.

Could you join a knitting circle? Or some other activity like a book club or running club - something where people actually get to chat as they meet up. It's fine for these things to stay at a once a week level at first but gradually the friendships can evolve from them.

Could you suggest a night out with people from work?

Keep going to toddler groups. You might eventually meet up with someone. Or try a new toddler group. I went to some where I never made friends, but others where the mums were all really sociable and we had a great time together.

Eventually I picked up a handful of really close friends with more in common than just having DC. It took ages but in the meantime I had a good time with some more shallow and short lived friendships. They don't all need to last forever.

Its normal! We all feel like that i think.

Ive recently moved back home and i was like fresh meat, a lively welcome home - everyone seemed to want my company. Thisnyear has been different. As my 5 year old has suddenly adopted a new rein of behaviour from school 😏🙄 ive become a hermit avoiding social events because he is unpredictable and struggles with social situations. Im also at home with a 2 year old and once again experienced maternity leave all alone. I dont drive foolishly and its been incredibly lonely!!! When i wanna go out with my youngest son everyone is in work. My life is the kids and my husband. He works away and so weekends i go to work its hard. I do feel for you!

I stand on the school yard with ppl i was drinking gin in pubs with last year and i'll be lucky to get as much as a wave from them. its awful.

But i have noticed most of us have shifted friendships. You find your childrens friends become your friends (parents i mean)
One your child gets into clubs or has a best friend just watch. Younsaid in groups you ppl dont approach you and talk amoungst thenselves. .... maybe you're radiating a vibe that seems like you're only there for the group. Relax and smile, even ask a question (even if you know the answer) about the group.... ask them where tehy got there childs shoes (take interest) .... take an interest to start a convo...
Or dont wait for your childs bday..... suggest a mutal meeting or have one or two mums come over for coffee and cake play date. YOU WILL find someone and i can asure you you'll find soemone that will be grateful that YOU asked them for their time and saved them from going crazy.

Ive lost all confidence this year.... adopeted a body i hate..... but i know its a temporary glitch!!!! Take care of yourself.... your a mum 1st but you're YOU TOO dont forget xxx