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Today I've finally lost my shit with him... And I've no idea what to do next

3 replies

Whatdoyouwanttobewhenyougrowup · 09/07/2019 21:31

I've posted previously about my useless DP , so many issues with in our relationship that there is realistically no chance of it working between us any more. I finally flipped today and after a screaming row between us we have decided to call it a day.
I don't work (young baby), I was made redundant on maternity leave, I have quite literally thousands of pounds of debt due to DP. All the bills are in my name, broadband, both mobile phone bills etc. I'm not named on the tenancy. I've massively fucked up in protecting my self. What on earth do I do now?!?!
We aren't married so I guess in that respect it makes things a little simpler. I have access to around £500 On my credit card but that would max the card out. I feel so lost and stuck and helpless. How did I ever get my self into this mess Sad

OP posts:
Shouldbedoing · 09/07/2019 21:40

I don't think you're quite as stuck as you feel, because your baby is young. Tax Credits are no.longer available to new claimants but UC is although it takes time. Have a look at entitledto.com. You can declare yourself separated whilst forced to share a home but stop all joint cooking, laundry etc. Get your name off those bills asap. You might find the landlord is prepared to.rent to.you alone when on Housing benefit which is still there but.rolled into.UC all as one. Will your DP step aside for you and baby to remain there? Try CAB for advice. Can a family member put you up for a while? Hope there is something useful there for you.

Whatdoyouwanttobewhenyougrowup · 09/07/2019 21:48

We're already claiming universal credit jointly, I had assumed I would have to move out before I could claim it as a single person so that's really helpful to know and would actually make moving forward for me so much easier!
I have used the calculators so I know roughly how much I should get , but once I've factored in all the debt DP has got me in and that in stuck in contracts for broadband and 2 mobile phone contracts it doesn't get me very far at all. One contract I only have 6 months roughly left on but the other 2 I have over a year left to pay and it's not working out any cheaper to 'buy' my way out of the contract.
I also have a car which I pay for which I'll struggle to afford, but the car itself has very little resale value, less than £500 and I'm not sure if I would struggle with transport with out it. I have a friend who could put me up but only for a month or 2 at the very most, family can't really offer much help at all tbh. I've arrange to go see a house tomorrow but I've no idea what to tell the landlord, I have no job, it doesn't sound great from a new tenant does it.

OP posts:
Whatdoyouwanttobewhenyougrowup · 09/07/2019 21:50

Oh and no DP won't move out, it's his tenancy and as far as he is concerned it's my problem to move out. I would possibly struggle with the rent here as Well ( as would he ). He has another child so the house is bigger than I need as I no longer need the extra bedroom

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