Were you a complete dick when you were a teenager like I was?

[BrexitBingoGenerator]

Following on from the ‘What year group is the worst’ thread, I’ve been sent an invitation to my 20 year school reunion and it’s made me reflect upon my own time at high school. I was horrible, I think. I remember being obsessed with every slight calibration within friendship groups and was always fascinated with the really ‘cool’ crowd. I was desperate to be like them and it probably appeared really tragic to everyone around me. I did some pretty cringy things to try and impress people and yet left with pretty much no friends at all.

I look at the kids my husband teaches at his school and so many of them seem to have so much integrity, common sense and they seem really nice, mature people.

Does everyone feel like me to an extent? Is it a universal symptom of teenagedom? Or was I just particularly awful? I’d say it’s definitely affected my self-esteem to this day and I am determined to help my own kids avoid it at all costs, if I can!

I think I was about 22 before I became self-aware enough to not be a dick, although I am still paranoid about making a fool of myself and am ahuge people pleaser.

[Holenewme]

I was a complete nobber until my early 20’s. I was so determined to be accepted as cool by other cool kids that I didn’t realise what a prat I was being to everyone else.

[Sparklingbrook]

I was bullied throughout High School, mostly name calling but occasional violence. I kept my head down at all times.
I left school, got a full time job and grew up, so I missed out on the 'being a dick' stage.

You aren't going to the reunion are you?

[PaulinesPenStash]

Yes I was awful

Desperate to be in the in crowd even though they never accepted me

And I bullied people

[Bezalelle]

I was a certifiable dick until I was 31. I'm 38 now, so that's most of my life. I've really turned a corner.

[BrexitBingoGenerator]

holenewme we sound like kindred spirits of cringe.

I remember giving Christmas cards to all these really popular girls for no other reason but for everyone to see me giving them Christmas cards - I figured that I would look really popular and that they would give me some back.

They all just looked at me like this and mumbled about having forgotten my cards at home.

[BrexitBingoGenerator]

I was pretty mean to people too Pauline - not violently, just sort of going along with low-level underhand mean things girls did whilst knowing that it was probably wrong. In a way that makes me even more sad at myself- I wasn’t even the bully, just the abetter and enabler. Awful.

[Nonstopbuttmachine]

I was a dick as a teenager. My parents were Victorian and my older brother was the goldenboy so I rebelled, big time. They don't know half the stuff I got up to in my late teens and at university; they'd have a heart attack if they ever found out

[PaulinesPenStash]

@BrexitBingoGenerator

Yes same. And I'd pick on people I saw as weaker or "lesser" than me to try and make myself feel big and try and get people to be scared of me. even through a few of the "populars" used to bully me so I knew how bad it felt

Strangely, am now friends with one of the ones I bullied, she ended up in the same circle of "mum friends" as me, she's the most lovely woman and I've said sorry and that I was a twat back then. She is, and always was, so gentle, quiet and kind, I don't know how I could have done it

My middle child has been picked on quite a lot and my heart aches for her.
I sometimes feel like it's karma

[Kez200]

Well I can confirm complete wallies (mainly boys) at school went to our reunion and have turned out into decent human beings. Not that they needed to but their reputations have been redeemed! They found some of their antics quite embarrassing and we all had a good laugh.

We have all moved and it was almost like discussing different people in a different universe.

[Holenewme]

I’ve never been to a school reunion. Partly because I have achieved completely sod all in the last 15 years. Mainly because I don’t think I could bear to be surrounded by people who knew what a tit I used to be though.

I used to have a hierarchy in my head of the whole school year with the pretty, sporty, funny girls at the top and the quiet, unsporty, plain girls at the bottom. I had a similar list in my head of the boys and made sure I’d only consider ‘going out’ with boys on a similar level to myself. I always knew where I was in this list and always did everything I could to try and ‘level up’.

I can’t believe just how much importance I used to place on how much certain people liked me. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about what 99% of people think about me now, especially random people that I’ll never see again.

[raspberryk]

I was horrible, still am but I disguise it as sarcasm nowadays.

[Kez200]

Actually no one batted an eyelid at what big things had been achieved. We had one guy who has made a fortune in computers but rather than godly worship him, he spent all night sorting out peoples phone problems! The there were those who now live abroad - they were the most exciting (regardless of job). The other funny one was a petite, pretty, studious girl who despite 30 more years is still petite but absolutely beautiful now she's all growed up. The boys were flabbergasted they went to school with her and were desparately trying to place her but couldn't. Sooooo funny and she took it so well.

[ThinkIveFoundYourMarbles]

I wasn't horrible but I was embarrassingly immature. Still cringe a bit when I think of school days.

[TyneTeas]

Yep, I'm finding it particularly hard parenting a teen at the mo recalling all the things I did then that my parents had no idea about : (

[smoothy]

Yes. My cohort were even more horrible

[BoronationStreet]

I was a vapid, self-absorbed twat and now I'm not. Shit happens and people grow up. 🤷‍♀️

[GidgetGirl]

Oh god yes I was such a dick. Too cool for school and such a poser. I had a music blog in the late 90s (between the ages of about 14 and 17) which became unexpectedly popular - not for the quality of the content (which was awful), but just because there weren’t many such sites or idiots like me around in those days. I was a minor internet celebrity amongst the indie fraternity for a couple of years, but by 2001 I was so excruciatingly embarrassed by the whole thing that I went to great lengths trying to expunge the internet of any trace of it.

But yes, I was a knob. Took great delight in being (or thinking I was..) cool and unfathomable. I was a tiny tearaway with an incredibly sharp bob - wanted to be some kind of beatnik, but I was actually just incredibly self-conscious. I was quite mean to a lot of the townie girls at my school and I remember making some poor boy cry by tripping him up in the dinner queue, which still makes me feel awful to this day. Terrible taste in ne’er do well indie boyfriends too.

[Rachelover40]

I was a mega dick. Don't worry about the school reunion, there will be others who were also dicks during their school days.

[SimplySteveRedux]

I was bullied psychologically and physically throughout school by both sexes, there's adverts for an upcoming reunion, I won't be attending..