Anyone managed to drink alcohol with moderation after a long period of abstinence?

[Gargamel1975]

I have been off alcohol for 2 years now as it really didn’t agree with my mental health. Now I’m in a great place, I do meditation every day, exercise etc...I had a bit of craving 2 weeks ago as I was away for the week end with dh and I really fancied a glass of wine but didn’t actually have it. I saw my therapist tonight and I told him about it and he said why not reintroduce it ? You are depressed anymore, your anxiety is completely in control. I was completely baffled as I was convinced he was going to tell that it was a bad idea...now I’ll all confused. I’m like yes I’d love to have a glass of wine or 2 when out but the other part of me is petrified what if I can’t stop and I’m back to drinking a lot ? And I’m feeling guilty for having this internal battle which clearly shows I still have a problem with alcohol ? I have been brain washing myself for the last 2 years saying that alcohol is poison and now I’m considering drinking again. Can you help me making sense ? Thank you :)

Hmm. I didn't drink for years because it affected my mental health... but that was after a glass. I didn't drink to excess.

It sounds like you drank to excess, which is a different thing altogether. It jumped out at me when you said you "had a craving" for a glass of wine. It's unusual phrasing I'm.

If you have a dependence on alcohol, the hideous disease of alcoholism, you can wave goodbye to all your newfound peace and serenity.

Go to AA for 6 sessions to see if you are a problem drinker at root. It really isn't worth it if you are.

Thank you :) I did drink to excess 1/2 bottles of wine every night then I stopped. It was a craving I had, wouldn’t it be nice if I could have a glass of chilled wine ? I completely glamourised it ! And no I don’t want to wave goodbye the place of serenity ! I just feel so good ! I guess I have my answer !

1-2 bottles? Or half a bottle? If the former then I agree there is probably an underlying problem.

Ime the forbidden calls us now and again. Looks so ordinary and attractive. Like the snake and the apple in the garden of Eden.

1 to 2 once I started I could not stop so I have said enough ! Your post really helped ! I just needed one person !

I hear you. I'm 16 months alcohol free and (with yoga and CBT) am in a much much better place than I was when drinking. So much so I occasionally wonder if I could be a moderate drinker and enjoy the odd beer or two.

But for me, nope. I know that I'd spend so much mental energy on it and could quickly be back to drinking a beer or two most days (and three or four or more at least once a week).

My life is much better now (and my anxiety less) because I don't drink, not in spite of it.

Really hope my tone isn't coming across as self-righteous or judgey because I don't feel like that at all - far from it! I'm one of those people who didn't fit in traditional 'problem drinking' categories but had a problem as it wasn't doing me any good at all.

I'm an alcoholic in recovery.

One of the key markers that sets me apart from normal drinkers is that once I start, I can't stop - I have no 'off' button.

I know I can never safely drink again and I would guess you probably can't either.

Well done for recognising the glamourising for what it is - would it really be a single chilled glass of wine or would it end in creeping back up to 2 bottles and all the chaos and upset that brought you?

Thankfully it looks like you know the answer - stay strong!

I can't believe your therapist suggested you reintroduce it to be honest.

I've been dry for 18 months and the occasional craving does come up. I know it's not worth having one. Alcohol is addictive and it's unlikely to end there.

It's also so freeing not to think about moderation, this took up so much of my mental headspace.

I sympathise. I am not a typical problem drinker as I can stop and I got to the point where I wasn't drinking at all in the week but it takes great will power. I thought about alcohol a lot - when will I next get it, will I get enough etc- feeling anxious I wouldn't get enough of a buzz but didn't want to get too drunk- that eventually I decided it was too exhausting. I've decided to give up for a year or so but everything I'm reading indicates that it probably would be best if I didn't start again.

My therapist said I didn't have a problem with booze and shouldn't worry and quite frankly he was wrong. A lot of people in the UK normalise some quite unhelpful attitudes to drinking and they think if you're not downing vodka to get out of bed in the morning you don't have a problem.

Outside of the depression, how does the idea of drinking make you feel? Past the "glamour" bit? Imagine you just have one glass of wine - how does that feel? Do you think - yes, that would probably be enough? Or does the thought make you anxious? Worried you'll pack away the rest of the bottle? Or that one glass isn't enough, it'll never be enough?

I’m terrorised by the idea of drinking again ! When I mentioned it to the therapist I was sure he was going to say it was a big no no -I was exited, scared, planning when to have that first drink and thinking but what if I can’t stop ? Will 1 or 2 drinks enough ?

I was so anxious yesterday you’d thought I had that first drink already ! I was having the battle last night - should I drink, should I not ? If I’m already having the battle, it’s another indication i shouldn’t drink at all ! Last week was the first longing in month.

I wonder if I told my therapist how much I was drinking - I think I need to have the conversation again with him!

Well that's your answer, isn't it? Take it off the table for now so you can relax again.

Good for you for having the self-knowledge and insight. and WELL DONE for not having anything last night! ⚘⚘⚘

Therapists give advice and if he doesn't have expertise in alcohol treatment then I'd take everything he says with a pinch of salt. You can always just tell him you don't want to reintroduce alcohol.

Few people really understood my issues with booze as from the outside I generally didn't drink much and I was very disciplined. When I got too pissed at parties most people shrugged it off. What they didn't see and even my therapist who is awesome and I have seen for 4+ years didn't see was how anxious the whole thing made me. How I had that constant internal battle you're describing - do I drink tonight? If so how much? Will I be able to stop? It is so exhausting!

I've found the Stop Drinking thread on reddit really helpful. Although pretty much everyone on there says you can't go back to drinking "normally" after a long period of abstinence.

What I'm starting to wonder is if it is worth it. I love a g&t but is the brief pleasure worth the anxiety around having a bottle of gin in the house? What if I drink every day after that? What if I don't have control?

The clincher for me was pushing it to extremes - if you could be always drunk or always sober which is better? Sober. Every time. No one is ever "too" sober 😂😂😂.

If you need booze to make something fun it's probably just not very fun and you can stop doing it / leave.

You are doing really well. Keep it up!

I think you could also talk to your therapist about how anxious drinking makes you!