Advice please on newborn living arrangements

[Bnn5fr1995]

Hi Guys! I need advice on my planned living arrangements for my first born when the time finally arrives. So basically my partner lives with another person in a house in a very run down area. He wants me to live with him but I don't feel comfortable living in that area. It worries me to even walk around there on my own. I am currently living at home with my parents which is perfect for me as I an trying to save for a house with my child and partner and I feel as though it's a safe area to bring up a child. I have tried to compromise with my partner and say we do half the week at my house and half at his, to me this is very fair but he thinks I am being unreasonable. What are you thoughts???? Thank you :)

I think you should stay at your parents. Why would you want to move in with him for half the week in a shitty area? Your baby needs routine and a safe environment. If you don’t feel safe, you won’t go out and the baby will need fresh air and outings.

Would it be possible for your partner to move into your parents?

Unfortunately no due to pets and he has a years tenancy x

Put you and your baby first. You need to feel safe. Your partner should understand. Good luck with everything!

Go or don't go. Either its not safe and you don't want to live there - so don't go.
Or its ok to live - go.
The half way thing is silly.

I think you stay at your parents too, although that's tough for you as it means your dp won't be sharing the load with night waking and childcare.

There's no perfect solution here, but moving into a shitty shared flat in a dodgy area is not a reasonable thing to ask you.

He needs to be trying very hard to get someone to take over his tenancy so he can step up for his child I would say.

I think when the baby arrives you’ll realise it’s far too impractical to live in one place for a few days and then have to up sticks and disrupt your routine to go somewhere else for the rest of the week (and I can’t imagine for one moment your boyfriend’s housemate wants to put up with a screaming newborn disturbing their sleep and limiting what they can do in their own home: has this even been thought through?)

I’d definitely stay with your parents; although if he can’t come and stay with you because of pets and other responsibilities, realistically how much parenting is he going to be able to do in that situation? Honestly it doesn’t sound like a relationship which is going to stand the test, unfortunately.

Stay with your folks. You don't want to be trailing all over town weekly with a new born.

Can he come stay with you? At least part of the week? If not he can visit every day at least.

Are you both saving/planning on getting a place together?

I’d stay where you feel most safe OP. If you don’t feel safe at your boyfriend’s place then the half way thing probably won’t work as you are going to feel super protective over your baby.

I travelled back and forth to Wales for a while which became very tiring but was worth it.

Stay at your parents and keep saving.
It will be a total pain doing half and half, you’ll constantly be carting stuff about or end up buying twice.
And I can’t imagine that DP’s housemate would be thrilled with the arrangement.