How would you feel if...

[SkySmiler]

A friend said that your home was lived in... My friend made the remark last week and Im feeling pretty crap about it still

I would find it a compliment, I'd rather be told my home looked lived in than like a show home.

Why do you feel crap about it?

She thinks my home is grotty, grimy, unclean?

My friend told me that my home is really homely. Her house is like a show home. I think it was her way of saying mine was untidy!

Yeah, I'd consider it a bit of a dig TBH.

She thinks my home is grotty, grimy, unclean?

I guess my idea of lived in is very different to yours. To me lived in is tidy and clean, but there's stuff on display as such, things aren't hidden, scatter cushions aren't necessarily straight etc.

Depends if it actually was messy?
If it was clean and tidy I'd take it as a compliment.
I think houses with lamps candles rugs and lots of cushions look homely.

Sorry misread.
Lived in and I'd be offended.

She thinks my home is grotty, grimy, unclean?

Is it?

If it isn't then I'd guess she just means it's comfortable and she feels at home there rather than scared to touch anything in a spotless show home!

To me it definitely doesn't mean grotty, grimy or unclean. I'm not saying you should take it as a compliment - I agree it could mean a bit messy or shabby - but I think you've interpreted it far more negatively than was intended.

I use this term to describe my house, to me it means it's a bit messy/things not tidied away. Not to do with cleanliness.

Yeah I'd think they meant a bit untidy, but in a good way

I'd take it to mean that it's quite 'homely'

It’s a difficult one because it could mean, scruffy/messy/threadbare/cluttered/untidy if said by someone with negativity.

Or it could mean warm and friendly/comfortable/relaxing/cosy if said by someone being positive.

My friends like my "lived in" home because it's so relaxed. They're free to do what they want, don't have to stand on ceremony, and are free to grab a blanket and snooze if they want to . I don't take it as an insult!

I think it's a rather nice, friendly comment. It means she feels comfortable.

A friend once said to me that when I am going to hers, she's relieved that she knows she doesn't have to tidy up before I arrive :-).

It's an insult.

I think it is a compliment. It shows that you place is homely and welcoming rather than a show home and overly clinical.

As I thought, widely open to interpretation...

I would not interpret as grotty or grimy at all that’s but extreme I would think not show home, comfy cushions relaxed not necessarily in clean - why didn’t you same something at the time? It’s highly unlikely a friend would mean something so rude, she will be mortified when you tell her how you have taken her comment

Context is everything. What manner was it said in and why? Is she a critical person or usually diplomatic? We can all give you our interpretations but it's pointless, only you know her here.

It really depends on the context.

“I love coming round, your home is so lived in I can just relax and be me”

As opposed to:

“Well your house is certainly more lived in than mine”

My friend's house is what I would consider 'lived in' and I told her so.
Ie: 'I love coming here, it's homely and lived in'
To me her home is welcoming and reminds me of my own home, there's a smell of clean washing, kids toys lying around, evidence of life, a character to the house that represents who they are.
The opposite of this would be somewhere too minimalistic, not a thing on the bench, not even an opened envelope from when they've came home and opened their post. That, to me, feels clinical and soul less.