People who look younger than they are

[cruisingthrough]

This is by no means a boastful post so please don't think I am.

I've just got back from the shops with my 3dc and whilst paying for the shopping had the check out operator who I see and chat to regularly goes to me "do you mind me asking how old you are" for context I wasn't buying anything that had a minimum purchase age. I replied kinda taken aback and she goes you don't look old enough to have 3 dc.
I do receive comments like this quiet a lot and it makes me feel really awkward for some reason and I'm 34. I even had someone tell me that I hadn't lived my life yet based on the assumption I look younger than I am. I feel if I looked my age nobody would bat an eyelid or suggest I was too young to have 3 dc.
My friends say I should embrace it and be glad but I often feel I'm not taking seriously in life if that makes sense and it gets me down.
I used to joke to people saying must be that new cream I bought but to be honest I think I need something a bit more direct but polite as I would never dream of asking anyone their age. Any ideas what to say that shuts it down or should I just carry on as I am?
Thanks

When you get to my age (60) you will be grateful.

You’ll get loads of replies telling you to be grateful but it can be a pita and while on one hand it might be a compliment, it’s not great when no matter how you present yourself at work you’re sometimes assumed to be on work experience

I have the same problem.. I’m 29 with one DC and currently 37 weeks pregnant with DC 2. I get some odd looks and I’m always IDed.

People are surprised when I tell them I used to be a teacher, but left the job a few years ago... apparently I don’t look a day over 19/20. I usually just smile and not politely, but inwardly eye roll.

I know there are worse things that people could say, but I do find it exasperating at times, so I feel your pain OP!

I don't see the problem. I get the same comments and I am 36 with 3dc. I am wver grateful, especially as the grey and the wrinkles are coming!

I get this too and its a PITA. I am 42 with three kids and get constantly patronised and called 'young lady' by people. I dont personally see youthful appearance as something to feel flattered about, i'd prefer my face to match my life experience and for people not to assume im a clueless junior at work. I am catching up slowly though, these days people tend to guess im in my early 30s rather than 18 And tbf my mum looks amazing in her 70s!

Same here OP. I've just turned 44. When I tell people, they assume I'm in my 20s. I've even had people laugh in my face. It can be really rude.

Yes I get the same thing. I’m 32 with a nine year old and if I mention that I have a child people will say I don’t look old enough to have a child let alone a nine year old and when he was a baby I did get a few people actually asking how old I was. I wasn’t really confident enough at the time to say it’s not your business and it’s rude to ask. I see lots of young looking parents and wouldn’t think to say anything. Especially because they might actually be very young and it could be a sensitive topic for them. Now I just “yes I have a child I am old enough” but never tell them my age. They probably don’t even realise how rude and out of place it is so it’s good to put a stop to it without making a huge deal.

I actually don't mind it. I don't feel the need to put a stop to at all. I was shopping with my almost 13 year old on the weekend and had the salesperson comment "oh you two are so cute, are you sisters?" I get asked for ID all the time. I'm 35. One day the comments will stop, but until then I just take it as a compliment and move on.

I’m the same and it is really irritating. I know when I get to 80 and still look like I’m in my 50’s I’ll probably be happy about it. However being in your early 30’s and barely looking 18 is annoying! I’m yet to find a good direct comeback to comments.

Nearly 40 and get the same stupid comments. My oldest DC is 16 and the amount of times "you must have started young" has been said to me is unbelievable.

It's not flattering, and I'm not grateful. People use a certain tone to talk to you and you can hear their voice change when they speak to the person next to you - even though they're often several years younger. It's not nice to be talked to like a child all your life

People still treat me like a teenager and are patronising and condescending

And I also have greys to deal with etc.

I have a feeling I'm going to go straight from looking like a teenager to looking like an old lady with no middle stage and will just basically be talked down to for my entire life. Doesn't help that I'm short.

31 with 4 dc and expecting dc5 and i still get this

I get IDed for crap like Calpol

@Chloe9 I'm also short, agree it doesn't help at all

I get it all the time, I started in a new job (teaching) and one of the supply teachers asked me if I was on work experience from secondary school!! 🙄😭🤣....nooooooo.

I get this. I was wrestling my Zimmer frame onto the bus and just scrabbling around in my handbag for my free bus pass when the bus driver goes out of the blue, You look 21.

You'll appreciate when you get to 60
!

Haha I completely understand what you mean OP

I'm 29 this year and I constantly get asked for ID, even for scratch cards 🙈 although that is silly lol

Although saying that, I am starting to enjoy it.

I was in morrisons the other day and had a bottle of wine and had my ID prepared at the self check out, when the lady checked my date of birth, she said " ohh yes!! You've got it going on, I'd never have put you near that age, amazing, you rock it girl" 😂😂😂

It's not really a compliment, unless you start from the assumption that all women (or people) want to look younger than they are and that youth is the most important thing.

It really annoys me, and I think also stops people taking me seriously on a professional level unless we've worked together by phone/email before we meet in person.

I'm told I look about 10 years younger than I am, which isn't great when you work in an area that takes years to build up experience in.

Strangers don’t really look too closely at you. If you’re relatively slim, don’t have obvious grey hair / wrinkles, then you will look ‘younger’.

I’m 41 and no one ever believes me, which, at 41, I actually find quite patronising - it’s as if all my life experience doesn’t count.

It’s has absolutely held me back at work and coupled with the fact I’m short it means people treat me like I’m young, inexperienced, need help, don’t understand etc etc.

Most irritating was a young policeman talking down to me and asking who owned the car I was driving when I was stopped for a routine check. I’ve been driving for 24 years which was probably around his age.

So frustrating.

Another time I had a facial and at the end the woman said I can’t tell if you’re old with young skin or young with old skin...

Rage.

I always looked young for my age. I remember at 30 not being allowed to buy knives and forks in a department store. I had my two DC with me and I felt so offended.
Now, I'm looking my age + and I wish I looked a little younger, but I get that it's not great at times being thought of young. People assume you are incompetent.
I'd reply with "I'm a 34yo mother of 3, could you please not make assumptions".

I feel you OP! Happens to both DH and me and drives both of us crazy- he's 33 and I'm 28. I don't yet have a good response!

I find it most frustrating at work- we've both had people ask us if we're the intern when actually we're in quite senior positions. Or if I'll be leading a meeting and some who hasn't met me before assumes I'm the admin. Immensely frustrating!

@SheSaidNoFuckThat

I don't know why people assume that smaller people are less intelligent than them. Just because I'm child sized doesn't mean I'm a child! My brain is working just fine thanks, it just has a smaller casing.

It’s not very helpful in a professional setting, that’s for sure. I look ten-ish years younger and it really influences the way people treat you because they assume you are inexperienced. Especially in the early days of a new job/client/team.

I have considered dying my hair grey.