Feel sad and alone

[Candymay]

I haven’t got a network of friends or family and I feel isolated although I have children. I am struggling with sadness because my beautiful cat died recently. I feel a bit hopeless. I have noticed that I feel slightly better when I talk to people but I don’t have people around. I feel very self critical and I’m a bit lost. Even on mumsnet I feel like there’s the real network of people and then me on the outside of that! So I know I’m causing my own difficulties. I don’t go out and socialise because I have no childcare. I’m just struggling and don’t want to make my children struggle like me. I don’t even know what I’d like from people in the way of advice. Just wonder maybe how to stay positive. How to find happiness. How do people manage without true friends or family?

I was in a similar situation. It is very tough emotionally. Fact is, you will feel better if you get to talk to people and you have to engineer it.

I have always been painfully shy. When my kids were young i would take them to the local park, they would run off and play and find little friends. I used that as an opener and would chat to the mum / childminder. I found it really hard... 9 years ago i met my best friend doing this. Turned out she was as lonely as me. Kids have all moved on... but we haven't.

Schools are breaking up. Summer is here. Push yourself. A bag of sweets, a flask of tea and a spare mug wouldn't go astray either.

Wish you well.

Thank you. I feel very fragile emotionally. I’ve noticed a lift in my spirits when I do manage to connect with others. So I know I should do that more. It’s difficult to see past this mess.

It's tough Candymay. I just didn't want to move on without sending you a hug and a hand hold.

How old is your child/children? Would you be able to arrange a small
playdate which includes tea and have their parent pick them up afterwards? This might be an opportunity to socialise more?

I can’t have anyone at our home because we are severely overcrowded and that’s another problem. It’s horrible and also embarrassing.