Is this the most banal news item ever?

[KitKat1985]

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/pensioner-angered-after-asda-runs-17485450

The news that Asda has run out of smartprice sardines. The seriousness of the man's face cracked me up. Please post your favourite banal news stories so I can keep smiling!

I'm an American and I actually love the banal news items that I read every day in the U.K.

If it's not Asda man, it's sad face woman that didn't get a full packet of crisps and I wasn't given a refund or something else equally un-newsworthy.

At least we don't like in a place like the US that has so much bad shit going on every day that you'd never read about Asda man or angry mom.

facebook.com/profile.php?id=922716137773390&ref=content_filter

THats the group for angry people in local newspapers

Great link thank you Soola!

That link is mint

It’s the pictures that make it. A picture tells a 1000 words and there’s 3 of them

If you want banal you should listen to Look East on the TV (unless you are fortunate enough not to live in the catchment area )

'Pensioner feeds sparrow in garden'
'Four generations of family living in the same house 'we love it' says grandad McWeird.'
'Man has largest collection of pipes in the country.'
'Exhibition of rubber bands draws huge crowds in Lowestoft.'
'New local shop for local people to open in Fens'.

Have been highlights over the years.

This gave me a giggle as I'm from close by. No idea why this is news though!

@KurriKurri - I live abroad but get Look East and love the local news. My daughter was doing a work placement aged 14 and was a bit uncertain, the long train ride and general worry about it all so I'd text her the local travel East Anglian updates at 7am "Traffic between Fakenham and Little Snoring". Cheered her up no end.

I will also reference look east. My favourite recently was "man in Ipswich has his milk repeatedly stolen from his doorstep"

I absolutely love that story for some reason. He's got a cracking name too hasn't he? Never heard of a Harty. I hope they send him boxes of them now for the free advertising. He'll be well set up come Armageddon.

Here's a cracker from Look East. Fire brigade called out over alarm imitating Parrot www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06rwhny

I loved Look East when I lived there, most stories were about pig farmers losing their tractor keys etc. The only exception was when there was a serial killer out murdering prostitutes in Ipswich. Look East barely knew what to do with a real news story.

If there isn't any real East Anglian news (as is the case most days) they try to find very tenuous links to national news stories
'Man from Saxmundham's Uncle once thought he saw Donald Trump'
'Olympic gold medallist's great aunt used to live in Bungay' etc etc

Having no news whatsoever never stops them filling their half hour

My DS used to work for Radio Suffolk - his show consisted of made up news (seagull steals sandwich, jam jar washes up on North Beach - coastguards called in case it is a bomb, ghost seen in Haddiscoe turns out to be paper bag etc), soap operas written five minutes before he went on air, inane chat and a few records. It was hilarious.

I just can't imagine being so incensed about smartprice sardines you would go to the paper about it. And that a paper would actually think it was newsworthy enough to print.

My favourite newspaper item remains "Cherry Trees in bloom in Argyle Avenue".

I thought Ed Reardon was fictional!

Love news like this

So trite

"The shelf was full of them," recalled a happy Harty.

But his joy was short lived

^

You can get paid £15 for sending one of these in to The Oldie magazine if they use it in their 'Not Many Died' column. I have done this, so I know they pay out.

WTH?
www.derbyshiretimes.co.uk/news/crime/derbyshire-cops-impound-flip-flops-after-driver-legs-it-1-9864143?fbclid=IwAR30rK11yrvNRUHOide6FdJtvGYvLa27P59HuJ4hQR6YP_qepGdCdFmZ6Rk

More news here for the Mirror - concerning yours truly today:

Woman angered when Morrisons runs out of 4-pints of semi skimmed milk, and she has to buy a 2-pint bottle instead

The shittest one I ever saw was a story about Adele's husband's company supplying the water for the tables at an event she went to. Then asking would she be his guest instead. I didn't know whether to shoot myself or the newspaper.