My DS gives me nothing back! Does anyone else get it?

[lockedonsie]

This is going to be a really strange thread. Basically, I've been spending a bit of time here and there with other people's DC's a bit more.

One is 6 months, the other two are my son's age.

For clarification, I really do worship the ground my son walks on and I adore him, but I don't feel any real sort of emotional connection between us.

After playing with other people's DC of similar ages, I noticed they give me more back? Does that sound really weird?

I was playing/babysitting a friend's DD of 6 months and I felt more of a bond with her in 2 hours than I have in the whole almost 2 years of DS....

It's like he's never really giving me anything back. He doesn't share any laughs with me, look at me properly, etc etc. I'm a bit shocked I'm saying this because he's breastfed and I always thought we had a very nice connection because of that. BUT, I've now realised without the breastfeeding the bond would be absolutely non existent....

I never really felt connected with him. Maybe it's because he doesn't really look at me, which I can find frustrating subconsciously.

Anyway, I do feel like he's the most gorgeous little boy ever. But I just don't feel like we have any type of proper bond. And it's not me!

I've tried so so hard to create that special something and DS just always feels extremely detached. Like I'm not really there.

Am I a cow for saying this? Other children just seem more interactive with me. And they seem the same way with their own mums. My DS isn't interested.

Hi OP, is your child 2? Has he had his 2 year check with the health visitor? Are you completely sure he can hear you? Would it be worth getting his hearing checked? And mentioning your concerns to your gp or health visitor - just it could be hearing or some children don't do joint attention because they are autistic. Which will just mean he has a different bond with you, not worse.

I would speak to your health visitor about this. There may be a reason for his detachment, he may need his hearing checked for example.

I've had his hearing checked by the GP who doesn't have any concerns. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with his hearing.

GP has arranged for a HV to visit us next month when she's available for a home visit. However, GP says his eye contact was great with him, which it was, and the little so and so gave the GP a giant smile and sparkly eyed twinkle

He doesn't do that for anyone usually and a couple of people have picked up on DS's behaviour. For example, the person who looks after him whilst I'm working PT says he doesn't play with the other children and avoids their interaction. Getting him to just look at you is extremely challenging too. And can be frustrating.

Although GP has seen a very different DS.

DS also doesn't say any words apart from "Mummum" when very upset sometimes. Occasionally says no.

He's almost 2.

GPs can't check a 2 year olds hearing properly. It needs to be done by an audiologist. GPs are also not experts on autism, in fact their knowledge is usually quite basic.

Op, he’s only two. At that age, they are very focussed on their own needs.
You could try playing games that engage him and make him laugh. But don’t expect too much.

My ds didn’t speak until he was 26 months and then it was “car key” rather than Muma. Now he doesn’t stop talking.
And he didn’t really cuddle until he was three. He would fall asleep on me but not seek me out just to show affection. There were too many other things to explore.

Honestly, don’t worry x