I guess I’m looking to hear that I’m not alone and to hear any tips, if anyone else can relate?
My husband’s mother comes from a family of 7 children and they like to have big family parties regularly throughout the year. My husband is 1 of 3 boys used to that. In contrast I have a tiny family and my dad died when I was 7, so most of the time it was just the 3 of us, sometimes 4 if my Nan was there!
My MIL is very family focused. She’s lovely, very helpful with my 4yo, etc. She likes to be very affectionate, generous and she likes to be involved with everything. Sadly I find this overwhelming. Case in point, my husband was away at a stag do last week and I told her that they’d dressed the stag up - she asked why she hadn’t been sent the picture and asked me to send it her. It was just a WhatsApp my husband had sent to me! She often asks to come when my BILs arrange a pint at the pub, etc.
I was at a family party last week, we are going to LDN to see BIL and SIL next week. Now out of the blue, DH has arranged brunch with BIL, MIL and SIL this morning, with them coming round to ours after for a tea, when I said I wanted a quiet weekend and no entertaining this week, as a rare quiet weekend when we’re so busy. So that’s three weekends spent with the in laws in a row. I like them, honestly, but I see them more than friends and my own family sometimes!
It’s not just about my MIL but my mom was always affectionate but needed her own space and so do I. I find it hard to accommodate everything I feel MIL needs. I try talking to my husband about it but he just feels like I’m attacking his mom! Now if I go to the brunch it’s me making an accommodation again or if I don’t I feel like the bad guy!
Does anyone else suffer with these types of situations? I’ve tried talking to counsellors about this it causes me so much inner turmoil because I don’t want to upset anyone. Should I go back to a counsellor again? Any other advice, words of wisdom / comfort?
Sorry for long post and thank you