Weird household rules you had growing up.

[habibihabibi]

A number of odd rules but most memorable:
My mother did not allow us to sit ot lie on beds unless in our pj's ready to sleep.
Not allowed in bedrooms during the day unless poorly.
If we had friends over we had to play in the garden/playroom.
We were not permitted downstairs in pjs ever.
Straight from bath to bed and immediately washed and dressed on waking.

Hit me with your strange rules

Wow!!! Some of these are insane and abusive

Luckily my parents were very liberal, just be polite and kind were the rules.

I was allowed to exist silently in the spaces between others, stuff, and rules. I wouldn't recommend it, but it has made me pretty self sufficient though I do struggle with having any 'right' to anything, but a tendancy to go for whatever it is anyway.

Curiousdad18 I hope this comes out as meant, but I wouldn't bank to much on any will. Great if you get it, but I'd be prepared for possibility of not, so it does less damage if it's the case.
Weird parenting decisions are often continued after death. Everything went to a sibling here. I hadn't 'deserved' anything.

I wasn’t allowed to have a black boyfriend
Fortunately for dad we lived in an area where I never encountered any black people
I desperately wanted a black boyfriend.

I wasn’t allowed to have a black boyfriend

According to my parents you'd have been very unreasonable if you did as people who had children with somebody who was black were extremely selfish because they could have had children with a white person and therefore wouldn't have been bullied. Needless to say I reject that view entirely.

No day clothes on bed is ludicrous. I,ve spent years clothed curled up with a book on a wet weekend, especially as a child, or grabbing a nap when the baby's sleeping or just chilling with my laptop and a glass of wine while my bath runs.

My friend wasn't allowed inside if she wasn't wearing her slippers. I remember her getting absolutely bellowed at if she was in her socks in the house.

Always had to clear your plate and mealtimes.
Never wear pyjamas around the house.
Had to take shoes off at the door (this was fair enough though - my brother seemed to be a dog poo magnet and our Mum got fed up of him treading it all through the house and up the stairs)
Mum never gave to charity ‘charity begins at home’.
I wasn’t allowed to stay at home on my own while my parents went on holiday until I was 19. My brother could stay on his own from 16 ‘because he’s a boy’. (hmm)

I wasn't allowed to shower if I was home alone until I was 18.

Supposedly. I did it anyway. I wasn't going to sit around filthy when I could go for a shower.

Also wasn't allowed to lock the bathroom door in case I had a stroke or something and nobody could get in.

Luckily no rules about eating or drinking. I inhaled my entire kitchen as a child and no one stopped me.

No one, ever, allowed to sit on sofa. The plastic covering it was delivered in was still intact when my DM moved out 15 years later. No one was allowed to use the cheese grater as it made a mess. The fruit in fruit bowl was not to be eaten, it was just for show and got thrown away and replaced as necessary. You had to have a bath after a poo. If your poo was a game of two halves, you had 2 baths.

I can relate to those who had it drummed into them not to speak about what went on at home to others.

I wish I had though whether anything would have been made better as a result I'm not sure. Back in the 80's I suspect much of what I would have reported wouldn't have been seen as "that bad".

I'm also reminded of a boy next door who was literally whipped for "stealing" a biscuit, I remember my parents talking of it in hushed tones but they didn't report the family, they didn't even raise it with them!

The lad was 14/15 take thin and probably starving!

CuriousDad - do you desperately need the inheritance? You don't have it now so I would imagine not, surely your and your families mental health and peace are more important?

My parents make a big deal of doing everything financial "exactly fair" we all get exactly the same spent on us for birthdays/Christmas and the grandkids too, we've been told repeatedly the wills are "exactly fair" too divided among the 3 of us equally. I'm bloody dreading it as I've apparently been made executor (can I refuse this?) and I'm Nc with sister (who I'm fully expecting to cause problems as she's very money oriented - that's where I have concerns re refusing being executor though, don't trust her an inch to do it and I know brother wouldn't do it either, or if he did he's less able at dealing with her nonsense) and lc with brother (we get on well enough just not close)

I'm on benefits and I honestly couldn't care less about an inheritance from people who seem to think that makes up for all the shit they've put us through.

Plus in reality my sister has benefitted hugely from numerous bailouts, free childcare, and things bought for her kids that she insisted they "needed" but which many other kids manage perfectly fine going without and/or that if she took some bloody responsibility for her own finances she could have got for them herself. That's down to mum mainly as sister is very much her golden child.

I've given up trying to change anything as nothing ever changes so its pointless wasting energy and emotion on it.

@Organisedclutter - Gosh, you trump this thread. I am glad it sounds like you are doing ok as an adult, coz that list almost brought me to tears..

Pancake

No eating in the street. My dad hated it!

Pooing was for the downstairs toilet only, the upstairs one blocked too easily!

No mindless chatting over tea, "less talking, more eating!" (my dad again!)

That was about it to be honest, we were pretty lucky compared to my friend who had to ask every single time before she could eat anything at all!

Not many rules at our house, we were latch key kids, always getting smacked and worse by my brother.

One rule was not going to the loo after bedtime, mum went mad at me one time so I was far too scared to try to flout this so I had to pee on my bedroom floor. 😢

Organised - sorry if I've missed some posts, but were you part of a cult or something? Sounds so secretive.

"Ridiculously early bed times. "

I had this, though I don't remember it being as early as 6. I did miss Knight Rider which all the other kids talked about because it was on at 7 or 7.30. My dm admitted later that she sent us all to bed too early to get a break.

No eating at others' houses, which was excruciating when all your mates from the estate had exotic foods in their culture. Would you like to join us for this Greek feast? This table full of carribean deliciousness? Oh no thanks I've already eaten (said while fucking STARVING and knowing my mum had boiled bacon and cabbage on the go at home)

Yes to early bedtimes! I was still put to bed at 7.30 when I started senior school! ‘Children need their sleep’. Except I didn’t sleep. I laid awake for hours, playing with my soft toys or reading by the light in the hall. I actually take ages to unwind and sleep and have never been able to settle early.

"sorry if I've missed some posts, but were you part of a cult or something? Sounds so secretive." Pretty common in abusive households actually

Sounds so secretive.
Pretty common in abusive households actually

Yeah, we had the secrecy stuff, too, despite in general a fairly lawless (ie neglectful) existence. It wasn't so much a rule as just something I got told many times as a way things should be. "What happens at home stays at home" even about the very mundane shite. I was also encouraged to "resist" and not trust authority figures like teachers and doctors too much, if they started to "ask questions". Twice in my school career my DM unofficially banned me from seeing two different school nurses, who had started to express concern, as I had some issues. It was just the way things were. My DP were well to do career people with good social networks, and especially DM was extremely concerned about our image. It was totally common that if I was going away somewhere or staying over at others, the last thing she'd tell me by the door would be "Remember, you are representing this family and your parents!"

Being sent to bed with no tea if I was naughty. My bedroom had no heating, no TV or anything, it was just a bedroom.

It's nowhere near as bad as what some posters have experienced, but both of my parents are by nature secretive people. I remember being told "this stays in the family" about various things, some of which were mundane. I don't think it's an abusive thing for them, it's just a personality trait. They both enjoy creating and maintaining secrets for some reason. Unfortunately, neither of them is a particularly good liar so they're not that great at it. It makes it worse for me as I never know which sums of money or other assets the other knows about or is meant to know about. Sorting their estate out once they're gone is going to be a nightmare, although they do have proper wills.

No pjs downstairs - had to be fully dressed before coming down.
Electric heater allowed on for 2 hours max and only in winter
Bedrooms doors had to stay open at all times
Not allowed in anyone's else's room
Dog slept in garage and was only allowed as far as the back hall 😡
I worked at the local riding stables and had to strip in the garage and go straight to the shower when I came home.
No food outside the kitchen unless it was a special occasion then we ate in the dining room.
Good living room was out of bounds at all times apart from piano practice.
All books, games etc had to be tidied away before meals and put away in our bedrooms.
No going into town with friends (seriously I was 16 before I was allowed)
No taking anything (including drinks) without permission - still can't even help myself to a biscuit at dms house.
No shoes in the house - slippers only.

Honestly don't know why my parents had kids - if anyone set foot in our house (rare occurrence except for family) they would have sworn there were no kids living there - everything had to go up to our bedrooms. Can never remember having any of my paintings etc on display - my house on the other hand has the dc paintings covering every spare inch of wall!

I also left the country as soon as I could get away!

@Organisedclutter - my missus has said the same. It wouldn't surprise me if DB gets the lot as he is the golden boy.

I see DM as little as possible without officially cutting her off.

I'm personally amazed you made it out relatively unscathed by the sounds of it. It sounda horrific.

I thought my Mums rules were pretty serious when I was growing up, but I feel both amazed & sad for pp's reading some of these. We very rarely had visitors & were not encouraged to invite friends home after school or in the weekends - it was meant to be family time (but we didnt do anything together as a family though). When I was younger we ate together at the table & not allowed to leave until it was all finished etc; once my parents got a TV we ate in the lounge with small tables - but we still had to eat everything. I remember though often in the weekends me & my 2 siblings would have to go to bed for a rest. So windows closed, curtains drawn, into bed - supposedly to sleep. I understand now though that our Mum was just worn ragged & she wanted a rest, so made us too. I hated it, esp when I was like 13 or 14 & having to "sleep" on a Sunday arvo. Mum of course denies all this now.

Most of those you listed just seem to be with the intent of keeping things orderly and perhaps that is similar to the manner by which one or both of your parents were raised.
We had a basement bedroom that, while we were little, we kept our toys and were to play with them in there. Rarely did we bring our toys to the upstairs, or anywhere else for that matter, until we were older.
Maybe a weird rule was, in hindsight, was when my grandmother came for about a month during summer. She lived in a mostly warmer climes than us, but often made a “rule” or urgent request that one of us kids warm her up with long hugs or join her under the blanket for several minutes before she woke in the morning.