Does anybody ever feel lonely being a parent?

[Curlyhairedbrummie]

Hello, I was wondering if anybody else ever gets lonely being a parent? I have one DS age 3 and DH works 5, 12 hour shifts a week. He's usually gone before we wake up and back after DS is in bed.

Usually I'm pretty proactive going to groups and organising activities but I just get fed up doing all these things on my own! I have met some other mums through groups but only one has turned into a proper friend.

I'm not from where we live and my family live 4 hours away so i don't really have any connections. DH and I are in the middle of a discussion about whether to move close to my family as not only would we have support but we would be able to buy a house as they are so much cheaper. He's refusing so I'm feeling resentful about being here and being lonely!
For example if we lived nearer to my family I wouldnt think twice about driving to my folks and spending the day with them, or DS and DN while DH is working all day. Instead DS and I are inside wondering what to do!

Thank you for reading!

Why is your DH refusing to move? What are his reasons?

We are an hour away from his family and 4 from mine and he doesn't want to be that far from them. Which I get!

Do you work OP?

Yes, I did all the time. Since oldest started school a few years ago though I really starting making friends. Not mostly "proper" friends, but a couple of really lovely ladies I get to speak to and hang out with with the kids etc. Dh is away for long periods and no family neaeby so it's just me most of the time. So yes, it can still get quite lonely.

I'm a satm which doesn't help matters I know! Though I am able to pick some agency shifts up from my previous role which I plan to do

I was in your position and I'm moving back to where I'm from to have my family around. It's also a place where people come and go a lot so it's easier to find another new person. Where I am now is lovely but everyone has known each other a long time and I'm constantly the outsider.

I've found it harder too with a toddler compared to a baby as I can't sit cuddling the baby and chat, it's impossible to have a conversation whilst chasing DS around the playground /soft play /playgroup (random biting plus a desire to climb anything).

@YouJustDoYou that must be hard DH being away for long periods. Good point about school, DS will be starting nursery part time in September so hopefully this will open up some opportunities to meet other parents.

Op it used to be way, way harder. But as the kids have got older it's getting better and better. I just love being with them so much these days, but it's still hard some days when it's just me and I haven't spoken normally (ie not nagging/instructing/teaching them) to anyone. I met a couple of parents at nursery/pre school, but "big" school was he real kickstart to forming bridges within the local community.

@DreamingofSunshine haha yes! The amount of times I've had to cut a chat short and chase after DS who's putting someone in a headlock 🤣