Can a 12 year old be forced to see their father?

[Thatvtechpuppy]

We have had no contact with my ex since DC was four. We never lived with him, and contact was sporadic before he finally fucked off. He has never paid maintenance.

DC now wants to change their name, but of course we need their father's permission.

This is really important to DC, so I need to try for their sake, but I'm worried ex will try to play silly buggers out of spite. I'm not sure what he could do except demand contact with DC. This would be a nightmare for DC.

In the worst case scenario, would a court really make a child of 12 (more like 13/14 by the time this hypothetical situation played out) see a parent when they don't want to?

At 13-14, my DD was the same height and weight as her parents. I want to see anybody trying to force an adult size teenager into contact 😂.

Well to be honest, that was what I was thinking, mine is the same now

I have heard though that RP parents can get into trouble if the child doesn't go, so they do it that way

Ex is a nasty piece of work, but I doubt he'd want to spend the money on court, but I can't risk DC being any more traumatised by him

No the courts will not force contact if a child in that age range isn't willing.

The child has a right to a relationship with their father so would need to satisfy themselves that this was the child's genuine feeling rather than you trying to prevent access.

That's good. Definitely child's feeling. Ex is on DC birth certificate and has never done anything about it, taken me to court for access, paid anything, and I never stood in his way. He has also done the same thing to his other children.

I have changed my 12 year old's "known by" surname so at school etc he is called his new surname. My ex won't give permission for him to change it legally so we are waiting until he turns 16 to do a deed poll as by then he doesn't need parental permission.

This was many years ago but we were told that at age 9 a child can make their own decision to stop seeing their father.

I had been making him go and he didn’t want to as his father had gone on to have more children and all the focus was on the younger children who were all girls, which was fine with my daughter as she enjoyed playing with them but my son felt left out.

So he stopped going. But with the understanding he could see his father again if he so wishes and that he would still visit his paternal grandmother.

Per earlydoors42 anybody can choose to be known as anything they like really. If your child wants to be known as something else, no permission required.

Then at 16 (which is only 2 years later than you estimate this might be playing out) they can deed poll it.

Seems more sensible than pulling somebody toxic back into your lives unnecessarily.