How would you deal with this-poor manners

[Aqueo517]

DS10 has had a lovely school report. His gp’s gave him £10 and he’s had a book that he wanted and some chewing gum off us. No thankyou’s! Had to be prompted by me. I don’t want to take away from his good report but I’m ticked off. This isn’t the first time either. I don’t know how to get it into his head. He has beautiful manners when he was younger. I’m thinking no tv tonight and helping me with the weeding instead.

Seems harsh
Keep drilling it into him...just say it everytime.

Make sure you're saying it to him. I witness many parents trying to get their children to say please and thank you, but then never say it to them.

Punishing him kinda takes the shine off his achievement, and he did say thank you when promoted. I would leave it to be honest.

I say it ALL the time,I remind him ALL the time! I reminded him 5 minutes before they gave him the money. I don’t know how else to get it to click. If I’d have taken £10 off my nana without saying thankyou I’d have had my arse handed to me. I’m not saying that’s right but I need to do more than a gentle reminder cause I’ll be damned if I’m raising my child to be ignorant.

I’m venting on here. I’ve been very calm to him but I am annoyed.

Remind him that he should thank people.
After many years of sending presents to nieces and nephews on DHs side of the family, we've decided not to do so any more as we never get any acknowledgement that items are received, let alone a thanks.

RiftGibbon this is it, people are very kind and all they ask in return is a simple thankyou, it costs nothing and goes a long way.

We’ve always done thankyou cards for birthday/Xmas so he’s been set a good example. I just don’t know why it’s not clicking or why he’s lost it because,as I said, when he was 2 even he knew how to say please and thankyou.

No don't take it further.

A quiet comment, possibly at bedtime along the lines of well done for saying thank you when asked. But now he's getting older you don't expect to have to remind him.

He went to put the tv on so I said could you come and help me in the garden instead please. We just spent 10 mins weeding and had a chat about how important manners were and that I expect him to say please and thankyou now without being told to. So not a punishment exactly but I felt I needed to do something.

Honestly- an automatic and parroted “thank you” isn’t really manners is it? It’s an automated response that has been learnt by rote.
Your son at 10 got a great school report- he is clearly a good kid who has been brought up well and knows how to behave as a decent and hard working lad.
You splitting hairs and tarnishing his reward for his hard work by being pedantic about his “manners” isn’t a good move.
Kindness and respect can be communicated in actions as well as words and I’d stop focusing so much on the words and recognise if he is a kind and caring person on the whole as perhaps he shows it in a different way which IMO is totally fine.

Why are you buying him chewing gum?

Isadora2007 thankyou, good points.

HopeClearwater well it’s this sweet that you put in your mouth and chew and blow bubbles with so I’m guessing he’s going to do that with it 🤨

Why are you buying him chewing gum? 

What?