Can you find out if someone's had a baby?

[askingforafriendofmine]

Is there a way to search birth records ?

It seems strange that she said she was pregnant but has never contacted him.

Why didn’t she just not mention that she was pregnant?

Then she would have probably got away with him never knowing about the child if that’s what she wants.

By giving him an inkling that he might be a father she now has to always look over her should to see if he will appear and want visitation rights.

Seems odd to me.

@Soola Exactly. I think she did this on purpose to have a hold on him. It's probably not true, I expect there she wasn't pregnant. He certainly didn't abuse her, I'm as sure as I can be he didn't. I've known him
years through others, no inkling of anything controlling physically or mentally.

OP the gov website does allow new births, as you can order a copy of your birth certificate through them.
But it says it can take 6 months or longer for the births to appear on there, due to them being registered locally, and this being the central register.

@askingforafriendofmine OP I'd be very hesitant about getting involved with a man whose previous partner is literally hiding from him. Who has deemed him so unsuitable as a potential father that she'd rather disappear, forgoing any legal right she has to financial support from him.

Obviously he's going to tell you that she is crazy, but she was sane enough for him to date, live with and possibly even impregnate her...

I also call bullshit on the idea that they were living together and yet he has no mutual friends or contacts with her that will tell him whether she has a baby or not. Other people are also hiding her from him- I'm guessing for a good reason.

I'd see it as a massive red flag and be very wary for other signs that he is abusive or misogynistic.

If someone doesn't want to be found, respect that.

I would be a bit suspicious to be honest they obviously had a fairly long term relationship and ok maybe she's moved / changed numbers but realistically he must know her family/ friends / workplace ECT If you think about it it's highly unlikely there is no way he can reach out. It also concerns me you say so you can save money and write cards is that your idea or his ? so if he find a out he has a baby he will do nothing but write cards and wait to see if they If one day get in touch ? I would be very concerned about that.

Theres a reason she's kept away. Leave her alone, he doen't have 'rights' if he's not on the birth certificate. And keep your eyes open, women don't go NC when pregnant for no reason.

We don’t know the woman has gone into hiding?

She’s just moved away hasn’t she?

Op, my gut feeling is that there is no baby as the norm nowadays is to get the father to pay maintenance and she would have been urged by family and friends to pursue him for the money.

I think the only way to find out is to find mutual old friends and acquaintances.

I can understand that you don’t want this hanging over you both.

as the norm nowadays is to get the father to pay maintenance and she would have been urged by family and friends to pursue him for the money
Not if the father's someone she wants nothing to do with. Quite telling don't you think?

Theres a reason she's kept away. Leave her alone, he doen't have 'rights' if he's not on the birth certificate. And keep your eyes open, women don't go NC when pregnant for no reason

That reason could well be that she was never pregnant and she now doesnt want to be found out.

If there is a baby and it is his, he can apply to get PR which he'd get and then he'd also get visitation.

Women have gone NC for all sorts of reasons that dont include their ex being an abuisve maniac.

Going back to the point about ordering birth certificates.

I frequently order historical birth certificates from the gro for the purposes of family history.

A couple of years ago my friend asked me to order her husbands birth certificate as he had lost it, and it was an easy task for me.

It seems that when you order a certificate for a relatively recent event (and by recent I mean last 40 years or so) you are asked for additional information, in this case the dob and parents names, before you can complete the order.

I imagine this is to prevent complete randoms ordering, and as a fraud prevention measure.

we would like to write cards

"We"? Why "we"?

Isn't this all a bit much for such a new relationship?

I've known him years through others, no inkling of anything controlling physically or mentally.

Well, obviously. You think abusive people go around advertising it so people can intervene to stop them? So that it would be easy for the police to gather enough evidence for them to end up in prison?

You have no idea what happened behind closed doors in that relationship. You are not in a position to say whether it was or was not abusive. Don't kid yourself.

Abusive people have some of the most charming outward personas going. That public face means nothing. The abuse happens out of sight.

Maybe she was pregnant and lost the baby?

Watching with interest because I've had a baby but would prefer my own father can't find out.

I don't find it unbelievable that someone would move away and lose contact with friends.

The woman isn't on social media, we know nothing about her lifestyle, it's not unlikely at all that she might not keep in touch with people imo

I'm only guessing but I'd think if there was a baby he would have had some kind of contact from someone.

I can't see how you're going to find out by looking at records, you need a DOB, to get that you'd need to know the baby exists so would have no need to look it up iyswim

Private detective seems the way to go.

Why does he think she’s cut contact and vanished? He must have an inkling.

It’s a very bold move. Of course, most couples don’t stay best mates when they separate, but disappearing is another level altogether and seems like a pretty strong signal that something was/is seriously amiss. The absence of available information from relatives and friends is also really weird.

Tread carefully OP. Take care of yourself.

I don't think the ex girlfriend is neccessarily hiding away from him. However, I'm guessing that she told him she was pregnant and he walked away when she told him she was pregnant.
He probably doesn't want the op to kno that he behaved so badly, so is fudging it.
He'll need to do more than send a few cards and put a bit of money aside. He should pay regular maintenance. Unfortunately statistically, many men don't.

Presumably you know her last name and baby would have been registered under that name?

Also he must know vague month of birth +- a few months

Search on one of the paid for ancestry sites

Birth certificate - surname - year/month of birth. Check each one and cross reference with Mother’s name + DOB

@BikeRunSki

Exactly, or had a termination
There's any number of reasons why she wouldn't tell him. Maybe she told him she was pregnant and it was because of his reaction that she doesn't want him to know about a termination/ miscarriage/ still born or live birth of a child.